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Original poster

oh cr*p..had a phonecall from exH today........

57 replies

FAQ · 16/09/2008 18:38

he can't afford to keep paying towards the mortgage and the house is going to have to be sold.

The mortgage isn't in my name, but I've been paying half of it since he moved out in March, however, he can no longer afford to pay the other half, and pay his own rent.

I was told at the job centre last week that I could qualify for the help towards the interest on the mortgage, but having read all the stuff since I've got back on line (my computer died yesterday - I'm currently using the anccient base unit) I can't see anywhere that it indicates I would get it. And I don't qualify for housing benefit as I'm not strictly "renting".

So I'm probably going to have to move . Don't know how long, guess as long as it takes to sell the house - I'll get something out of it, he's already said that presuming the interest payment thing doesn't come through the profits (not much - perhaps a couple of thousand) he'll split between us, however that doesn't help me find somewhere else to live, that doesn't involve dragging my children back to one of the two (awful) estates in town as obviously I would have to pay rent/deposit for somewhere before the cash comes through.

OP posts:
BreeVanderCampLGJ · 16/09/2008 18:42

Oh dear God, is there no end to this excuse of a man ?

Has he met someone else perchance ?

expatinscotland · 16/09/2008 18:43

can you go back to work?

SpandexIsMyEnemy · 16/09/2008 18:45

don't trust he'll split it - you know thart much??

is this a consequence of your studys/ not giving him your finance details?

in a round about way it will be hard but hopefuuly you'll get away (to an extent from him controlling you)

re the renting see shelter and see what they suggest.

Original poster
FAQ · 16/09/2008 18:49

yes - he met someone else months ago - he's just got a new job within the company - it's one he's been after for 2yrs (infact we thought he was getting it 2yrs ago and it never happened) - but it involved a paycut.

He's only just got the stuff through from them today - so rang me, so I've got advanced warning. I'm 99.99% certain he's telling the truth - tbh I'm suprised it's taken 6 months for it to get to a stage where he's missed a payment on his personal loan, as I know that every single penny that came into his account went onto bills, (mortgage, personal loan, car loan, council tax, credit card) - the "spare" cash for us to spend came from my money that came in. - he's been paying half of the mortgage since he moved out, as well as his rent.

tbh I 'm just hoping that the information I've read online (which doesn't actually I don't qualify - just doesn't say that I do) is just ambigious - and that the information I was given at the job centre just last week was correct - as I think if I get help with the interest on the mortgage I can pay the rest and stay here.

Otherwise it's on the house hunt for me

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Original poster
FAQ · 16/09/2008 18:55

expat - I have been looking for work (not in serious way - but looking regularly) and nothing has come up that will leave me in any better a financial position, or that I could actually find childcare for.

Just looked on the jobcentre plus website - there's absolutely NOTHING (and I checked all jobs - not just within a specific time period).

They did a better off calculation for me last week, and if I worked 20hrs a week at minimum wage I would be £100 a week better off........however that excluded housing costs - so my housing costs would have to come from that £100 a week......

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Original poster
FAQ · 16/09/2008 19:11

oh and I did mention that I think the reason that this has upset me so much is the timing of him telling me..........it's DS1's birthday today.

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Dropdeadfred · 16/09/2008 19:17

I don't think you would get help with a mortgage thats not in your name though...? sorry.

edam · 16/09/2008 19:18

oh that's such a pig, FAQ. Is there any way the mortgage company could give you (both) a breather on interest payments?

Original poster
FAQ · 16/09/2008 19:19

DDF - I didn't think so either - but woman in the jobcentre said she'd heard of it happening before - where a husband has disappeared off leaving the wife to pay for the mortgage which wasn't in her name, and she'd got the help.

Not really expecting it though tbh, just trying to figure out how I'm going to save for a deposit on a half decent house to live in with the DS's that isn't somewhere where I'd be afraid to leave my house on my own.....

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newforold · 16/09/2008 20:30

Could you rent out one room and get a job, both together giving you enough income to take over the mortgage in your name?

Is there a garage with your house? Could you sell that to raise capital?

Original poster
FAQ · 16/09/2008 20:42

I suppose I could try renting out one room - although the room which is only one big enough to rent out has no carpet, and damp on the walls (my room atm), - so would need money spending on it to make it "rentable" - also not too sure about renting a room out on my own, with the DS's here (silly I know).

I've been looking for a job that's over 16hrs a week (even though I wasn't actually intending on returning to work until DS3 starts nursery) , and unless I work nights, or work shifts 6-2/2-10 alternate there's just nothing there atm.

I think I am just going to have to save hard to get a deposit saved for a house to rent and the first month or so's rent, - if I can get that sorted, and pay for the removals - my regular income from benifts should cover me until I get housing benefit sorted.

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Original poster
FAQ · 16/09/2008 20:43

oh - and no garage. Already in the process of selling all my stuff I don't need to raise money for "emergencies/treats" (or now it looks like just emergencies)

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squeaver · 16/09/2008 20:48

Don't have any solutions for you, I'm afraid FAQ, but a great deal of sympathy.

How about going to CAB to see if they've got any ideas?

Original poster
FAQ · 16/09/2008 20:50

going to try ringing them in the morning, but when I walked past on Friday they had a note stuck on the door saying that they're not currently taking any new clients

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Blu · 16/09/2008 20:54

FAQ - don't do ANYTHING without seeing a solicitor, will you?

I can't remember if you are actully divorced yet..but as I understand it you would be entitled to MORE than 50% of any equity in the house as you are housing the children.

If you are not divorced, you will be entitled to legal aid to pay your solicitor to sort this out.

And i have sen posters on our school entrance advertising an agency called 'people like Us' which specifically helps women who need work which can fit around childcare responsibilities...Maybe they could find somewhere?

In truth, if you can do anything tohold onto the house i would do it rather than sell at current time. Which you may not be able to do anyway.

Blu · 16/09/2008 20:57

sorry - it's 'Women Like Us', here

Blu · 16/09/2008 20:59

Their home page

Blu · 16/09/2008 21:01

Hmm - seems very London - contact them and tell them you want to be a rep for your area!!

Original poster
FAQ · 16/09/2008 21:09

Thanks for that link blu - no we're not yet divorced - was going to get things on the go when I discovered quite clear evidence that he'd cheated on me in the past, several months ago, but for one reason or another nothing happened - so we're still seperated with nothing else happening in that regard atm.

really can't see any way of holding onto it on my own, even if I got a job - I'd have to be working full time to be able to have chance of paying the mortgage.

It would probably sell, houses on this street and local streets have been selling really well - even very recently.

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Blu · 16/09/2008 21:26

OK - but truly, you should do this as part of a divorce settlement and not wthout advice from a solicitor!! If you get legal aid they do it through mediation - PinkChampagne got it all sorted quite neatly. It's nothing to do with fighting him or getting your own back, and everything to dowith making sure you get what you are genuinely and fairly entitled to to support the boys for the next 17 years.

mabanana · 16/09/2008 21:31

You know any money you get from renting is tax-free, provided it's under a certain amount (quite a reasonable amount if I remember rightly)
People will rent almost anything! And you can choose to rent to a woman.

Original poster
FAQ · 16/09/2008 21:38

I'll get a solicitors sorted ASAP - wasn't intending on doing anything with the divorce just yet - but I guess if it's going to be part of the divorce proceedings we'll have to get on asap I suppose as I know he'll not be able to hang on too long

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worriedagain · 17/09/2008 09:51

Please don't all jump on me but i have a idea,not sure if it would work but here goes.
Can't you say you are private renting and then you would get housing benefit.When you think about it you are in away because your name isn't on the mortgage.

CountessDracula · 17/09/2008 09:55

I think they ask whether the person who owns the house is a relative on the form though so you would have to lie.

I take it your mortgage is an interest only one? If it isn't (ie is repayment) you could switch to interest only which may well halve the repayments.

Original poster
FAQ · 17/09/2008 09:56

worriedagain - we tried that when he moved out, but because (and to quote from the letter they sent me) I am "reponsible for a child of the landlord" I don't qualify for HB.

Stupid thing is that if we'd got no children they would have given it to me

The annoying thing is that if only I could somehow find the deposit and rent for a month or two then I could afford somewhere nice to live with my DS's. I've already managed to make it work so that with my IS, Council Tax Benefit, and CTC pay for all my bills and £400 towards the mortgage - obviously I'm private renting then I will qualify for HB - which means that in effect I'd have an extra £400 to "top up" the HB - meaning that I could acctually afford somewhere decent, and have money left over each month.

It's just trying to figure out how I'd get the money for the deposit and to cover the rent until the HB is sorted out.

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