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Original poster

oh cr*p..had a phonecall from exH today........

57 replies

FAQ · 16/09/2008 18:38

he can't afford to keep paying towards the mortgage and the house is going to have to be sold.

The mortgage isn't in my name, but I've been paying half of it since he moved out in March, however, he can no longer afford to pay the other half, and pay his own rent.

I was told at the job centre last week that I could qualify for the help towards the interest on the mortgage, but having read all the stuff since I've got back on line (my computer died yesterday - I'm currently using the anccient base unit) I can't see anywhere that it indicates I would get it. And I don't qualify for housing benefit as I'm not strictly "renting".

So I'm probably going to have to move . Don't know how long, guess as long as it takes to sell the house - I'll get something out of it, he's already said that presuming the interest payment thing doesn't come through the profits (not much - perhaps a couple of thousand) he'll split between us, however that doesn't help me find somewhere else to live, that doesn't involve dragging my children back to one of the two (awful) estates in town as obviously I would have to pay rent/deposit for somewhere before the cash comes through.

OP posts:
Original poster
FAQ · 17/09/2008 09:58

CD - I doubt exH's mortgage provider would let him switch to interest only - "we" have only recently finished off paying 4 months of arrears that we accrued 3yrs ago.

Also it would still leave the issue of the balance to be paid at the end of the time period - which I can't see either of us being able to afford to do.

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CountessDracula · 17/09/2008 09:58

Do you get income support

Can you ask about this??

You may be able to get help towards some of your housing costs included in your applicable amount. This could include help with mortgage interest. No help is available with paying the capital part of a mortgage or any other payments, for example, endowment premiums, and there are restrictions on the amount of interest which can be paid. You will usually have to wait a few weeks after you start getting Income Support before you can get any help with interest, unless your partner is aged 60 or over. You will usually have this part of Income Support paid directly to your mortgage lender

CountessDracula · 17/09/2008 10:00

I very much doubt that they wouldn't let him switch to interest only! It is very common atm. Get him to ask! Then when you do get a job that pays more when all dcs at school you could go back to repayment and not lose your house

CountessDracula · 17/09/2008 10:02

right, look at the last paragraph of this
Well look at it all
it looks like you qualify

Original poster
FAQ · 17/09/2008 10:02

CD - yes I get IS - and they've just reduced the amount of time you have to be on it to get the help towards the mortgage interest. However as the mortgage isn't in my name I probably don't qualify (although my Lone Parent Advisor last week filled in the form to start the ball rolling on it just incase they do say yes).

I'm working on the assumption that I'm going to have to move (well not so about moving, more about the financing of a move)

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CountessDracula · 17/09/2008 10:05

WEll if he can't pay it can't he transfer it into your name???

CountessDracula · 17/09/2008 10:06

And then according to that last link I posted as your partner has deserted you and you have a child you can get full mortgage interest paid immediately

Original poster
FAQ · 17/09/2008 10:08

there is a remote possibility that the mortgage provider would agree to it being transferred to me - but quite unlikely given that I'm not working.

I've sent him a text about the interest only option will see what happens with that.

I've read that information yesteday CD - but I'm not sure if that applies if the mortgage is in your partners name.

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bundle · 17/09/2008 10:12

can you get a lodger?

CountessDracula · 17/09/2008 10:13

OK what about the mortgage being moved into both of your names not just his? Then they would pay it I am sure. That would be a simple process

CountessDracula · 17/09/2008 10:15

Also think you should speak to the CAB or similar who can advise what the position is re benefits. It is crazy that someone can't help you and tell you what the policy is!

Original poster
FAQ · 17/09/2008 10:17

bundle - someone suggested that earlier, aside from the fact I don't think it will bring in enough to cover the mortgage. The only room that is "suitable" for letting out is DS2 and 3's room - (it has carpet and no damp), I'm not sure of the logistics of moving all 3 DS's into what is currently my room (with the damp on the wall), and me fitting my stuff into the tiny single bedroom that is currently DS1's - would also mean that the lodger would be the one that was woken up by the boys if they wake in the night - as the walls adjoin - the third bedroom is stuck out the back of the house and you can't hear a thing from there.

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Original poster
FAQ · 17/09/2008 10:24

CD - thanks for the suggestion for interst only (and getting my name on the mortgage) - exH going to look into both those options today (as he's off work as he's without car)

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FluffyMummy123 · 17/09/2008 10:27

Message withdrawn

Original poster
FAQ · 17/09/2008 10:30

ermm - cod - because I have no-one to look after the children........I can't see him coming across here to look after the DS's when he's finished work each day!!!

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expatinscotland · 17/09/2008 10:32

how about if he came to spend the night with the boys whilst you went back to night work?

just till things settle and that.

i mean, surely he is obligated to make some contribution to looking after his kids.

Original poster
FAQ · 17/09/2008 10:33

although when we were still together he work 12-9pm - got home at 9.30 - I then left to do a night shift 9.45-7am - slept for a few hours and then got up when he went to work. So it's not something I'd rule out if childcare wasn't an issue - as well as the fact that working 20hrs a week I would only be £100 a week better off than I am now - BUT out of that £100 come my housing costs - so I would be in the same position I am now - needing to find an extra £400 a month a pay the mortgage.

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Original poster
FAQ · 17/09/2008 10:36

unfortunately his new job (which he's been after for 2yrs) involves travelling away overnight - unpredictably (you may recall a thread I started long time ago saying about the job - it would have meant that I would have been able to quit my job - and would have had to).

It's a training job, and he has to go whereever he's told to go - so on Friday he could get a call telling him that he's in Exeter for 3 days next week, then in Newcastle for the last 2 days.

Not to mention the fact that if he then left for work in the morning I wouldn't get any sleep between shifts

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SoupDragon · 17/09/2008 10:40

If your name isn't on the title deeds at the Land Registry, have you filled in this form to have you name added as a charge on the property under "home rights" ?

Original poster
FAQ · 17/09/2008 10:42

No I haven't yet - but it's on my list of things to sort today/tomorrow SD - thanks for the link

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Original poster
FAQ · 17/09/2008 11:40

I'm (half) ing now.

The mortgage company have agreed to interest only payments so long as the payment on the 1st October is paid in full.

The interest only amount is more than I'm currently putting towards the mortgage - but exH has said that he can definitely top up to the figure they've given.

The only issue now is that as he's not currently working, and he's behind on another loan that he's got out (with the same company unfortunately) that this payment MUST be made for them to go ahead with the interest only.

Maybe I'm being too kind - (but then it's in my - and the DS's interest too) but I'm prepared to put extra towards that the payment if it ensures that I get to stay here.

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CountessDracula · 17/09/2008 12:18

Fantastic!
No I think you are looking out for your own interests here if you offer that
Make it clear it is a one-off though
And get the mortgage in joint names or in your name!!!

Original poster
FAQ · 17/09/2008 12:23

yes I intend to - although he asked about putting me on the mortgage and they said they'd do the same checks as anyone else applying for amortgage...........and with an only "average" credit rating - and being on benefits I can't see that happening any time soon.

I am however going to make sure at the very least my register of interest (or whatever it's called) on the house asap, and (hopefully) push for him to get my name on the deeds. (although that shouldn't be a problem as in our conversations over the last 2 days I said very clearly my hopes that I would eventually "take over" the house - and it therefore become mine - and he's fine with that.

TBH he sounded extremely relieved (presuming we can between us come up with the full payment for the 1st Oct) that a solution has been found to keep the house for the foreseeable future

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newforold · 17/09/2008 12:49

Can you get him to agree to a deed of trust as well?

Simple document drawn up by a solicitor signed by you both which sets out what you are both entitled to regarding the house.
Ie , if it were sold what % of equity would go to you amd also what contribution each of you make towards the mortgage etc.

My partner and i did this, cost about £75 for the document. Both of you keep a copy and you make sure your solicitor keeps a copy as well.

It's a very good back up to the caution on the deeds that you are already going to sign.

Original poster
FAQ · 17/09/2008 12:53

newforold - I'll look into that once we've both got our finances rejuggled (going to mess both our budgets up this payment coming up).

Thankfully - despite my intial fears that he was going to be really awkward about the house (wasn't even sure he would move out!!) as we've both started to move on with our own lifes things have actually improved dramatically - and (so far - touchwood) all financial issues have been resolved succesfully between us.

Not that I'm going to rest on my laurels - still going to make sure I've got the nesecary "legal" stuff sorted in case things do get awkward.

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