Consumed with guilt over early potential retirement at 50 - why am I overthinking this so much?

[Midlifechampion]

So glad I found this thread and I’m in a very fortunate position so frankly feel like an idiot being so stressed about the decision.

transitioned into tech sales ten years ago and was very fortunate that’s id already have paid off our mortgage, so the income has been more than we needed, meaning accidently tbh we’ve in a position that at 50 we have enough across different levers (savings, investment, pension etc) that our financial advisor has said we are good to draw 50 to 60k a year no issues ( then factoring in inflation and also spending tapering until you typically need care)

It’s like the veil has been lifted because I’ve been grinding away at a very stressful, highly target driven job in the corporate world for the last few years when my heart left the building ages ago! I want to write, be more creative and see where it takes me and am incredibly lucky that I could potentially do it.

so why I am so bloody terrified! I’ve been the main bread winner for all of our lives (my dh has a health condition meaning he takes on jobs occasionally but it’s top up money) so I’m stuck in this guilt spiral of torching a well paid career others would be so grateful to have (I see so many people my age made redundant and can’t get back into work, with AI just accelerating that). And worried that if something I’ve not accounted for happens and I can’t get back into work that I’ve frankly messed it all up! My DD is 19 and doing an apprenticeship in a sector that doesn’t pay well but has purpose (which I love!) and I also want to help her with a house deposit which I’ve modelled and we can do that fine.

I just wish I could accept that it’s OK to not want this anymore and trust that it’s OK to start drawing down on what we’ve managed to build. I also think it’s a fear of the unknown, because I don’t know what life will feel like on the other side. i’m also aware that at 50 it’s very young but there are so many things I would like to do and this is much more of a retirement from a typical corporate job than me retiring fully.. it’s just that I can’t guarantee whatever I do next or actually make any money!

To be honest, it’s kind of consuming every waking our thinking about this which is not healthy and also adds another slab of guilt but I should be excited and elated that I can do this but the guilt is just crippling!

Normal Joe. Or Joe who’s quite comfortable but not high net worth. 20 years of retirement does change a person. Their world massively narrows by the time they’re 20 years in. More cognitive decline, less challenge, less routine. By 70 the OP is already 20 years out of the workplace.

I think 50 is too young. I do wholeheartedly admit my opinion is clouded though by people who I know who retired at a similar age. OP says she would like to work 2-3 days in a more rewarding sector. Perhaps that’s an option? She gets to escape the corp world and do part time. I would be wary of a straight cliff drop though.

I completely agree. Even with all of the plans in the world people who retire at 50 are so, so boring by the time they are 70.

You've been meeting the wrong people! I retired at 50 and am surrounded by others similarly. I and they are 70 now and lead hugely satisfying lives! - making music, art, supporting our communities, writing poetry and book reviews, organizing concert trips, enjoying our wonderful GC and helping our families. Pillars of the community us!! Never a dull moment!

Their world massively narrows by the time they’re 20 years in

Where are people getting these crazy ideas from!?
My world massively expanded when I left work at 50 and I started to do all the things I really wanted to do and to meet new people and try new things. I had left the straightjacket of work that was narrowing my life and the world was my oyster.

If you factor in that physical decline is an inevitability at some point, then why not live a bit before that happens? Broaden horizons and have some fun!

Have a look at the Rebel Finance School on fb. You’ve already achieved the goal- financial freedom, but there are helpful thought processes about work/needing to work and retiring young. It will hopefully liberate you to do what you want to do. (And may save you thousands that you’re paying your FA!!)

If you think you can afford it, then go for it OP!
I took a career break at 52, then never returned to work & have never looked back!
The comments about people who retire early being boring is ridiculous- I, like others on here, am doing all the things I wanted to do, but never had time to do when I was working, plus we are able to travel more. You never know whats around the corner healthwise, so do the things you want to do whilst you’re young & fit…

Concerts and GC sound fun. But that’s it. The rest of the list is dull. Fair enough mind at 70. You are not helping your community as much as you think you probably are. Drawing a few pictures, and writing some poetry can be tragic at 50. You would need a shit tonne of money for holidays, concerts etc to even remotely be able to have fun.

One person's dull is another person's joy.

I don't think that people round here would see me as not helping them as much as I think!

I am living a fulfilling life in which I bring music and singing to those who have missed out at school; organise all the local publicity for events; organise the community centre bookings; organise coach trips to concerts which en efit over 70 people; get involved in political lobbying for important causes; sit on school governing body .... the list is endless!

I know so many people of my age who have found joy and fulfilment when they retire. There's nothing dull about it! "Drawing a few pictures" has made a lot of money for some of my friends!

What do you think I should be doing? - flying off to holiday destinations (whilst wrecking the planet); lying around on beaches?

I think the OP should grasp this opportunity that has come her way and open up her life to new activities and projects and a joy that is not possible while tied to the daily grind of employment.

What an odd take, calling pensioners dull.

No, I called people who are 50 with that lifestyle dull.

This sounds great at 70. I’m just not so sure at 50. A lot of people have all of the ideas and plans, and often, they don’t come to fruition. Of course having a lot of money £££ is going to help no end. But the average Joe needs to seriously consider the outcomes at 50.
Things like leaving the corp world and getting a part time job in another more rewarding sector may be the answer for now.

This sounds great at 70. I’m just not so sure at 50.

I was 50 when I jumped of the wheel!

I retrained in photography and indulged my artistic passion. And also ran singing workshops for disadvantaged folk and ran big festivals - I still run a small one.

What is there about any of this that is not enjoyable at 50? - I have certainly enjoyed it for myself and enjoyed doing worthwhile things that change people's lives. What's not to like?

What do you think I should have been doing? - or indeed what do you think the OP should be doing?

My stance is that the OP needs to have some real positive plans in place that will enhance her life and those of others rather than seeing the retirement as an escape from one thing without knowing what they are jumping in to. I knew exactly what I wanted to do!

It was slightly scuppered in the middle by the illness of my OH and his death - which is exactly why the OP needs to grab this chance and do the things she wants to do while she can and before life shits on her .....

Instead of retirement, transition out into a less stressful environment. I know a woman who wanted to write movies. She left her corporate job, set up as a consultant in the same field, and now does the occasional consultancy job to fund her screeenwriting habit. She is very happy and one of her short film scripts has won an award and been taken on by a production company, so she has a new career bubbling under.

But also - it's okay to be scared of change OP. Doesn't mean you need to avoid it. You could do worse than read the old classic self-help book: Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway. It changed my life in my twenties.

That list isn't dull to me. And there are loads and loads of household name authors who began writing aged 50 or later. And I'd love to have even the tiniest talent at making music.

Your post implies that working a stressful job is more fun than being creatively productive. It's usually the other way around.

It is the minority of people who turn into authors and artists post retirement, and who make money from it. The majority of people aren’t that talented.

My DH is from the same background and also retired at 50. We are 18 months in. He does consulting work, and was busy last year. It became a full time position. So he decided to step back (again!) and now works one day a week.

He has set up a couple of lifestyle businesses with friends. Which means they work when they wish. Have meetings meet potential clients etc but also are free to take August off.

He spends far more time in his office than he probably should but it’s a different situation. I see it as a transition period. He’s much less stressed, there’s more travel, spontaneity etc.

The markets fall and he does get slightly worried but there’s no reason for this we’ll be fine.

So if it’s possible maybe try a half in half out approach and ease into retirement? It’s quite a different lifestyle so I can see why it’s an adjustment from a full on career.

I retired from an extremely stressful job at 60. I retrained in a profession I could follow on a self-employed part-time basis and which still remains a rewarding and fulfilling interest. I also sing in a choir, learn an instrument and a foreign language. I'm an avid theatre-goer & go to something almost every week. I belong to two different arts & cultural societies, from which I learn a lot and derive huge satisfaction. I, too, had always been the breadwinner and had paid off the mortgage before retiring. Sadly, DH died 4yrs after I retired. Solo life with lots of interests became vital. I don't have anything like the income OP is expecting to have, but I want for nothing. I've given up travel to far-flung destinations, but I holiday alone quite happily or with friends. I'm over twenty years into leaving that stressful job and have since enjoyed probably the best years of my life.

If we are fortunate to have good health and financial security, "The Third Age" can be the best time of our lives, when you are able to focus on personal growth and self-fulfilment (not at all the same thing as self-centredness). Go for it, OP.

Not everyone has to desperately work at finding a replacement for employment. I have an extremely tedious, fairly solitary and entirely sedentary and yet well compensated FT job that I squeeze my many unpaid interests around. If I could ditch the job I certainly wouldn’t be wanting for intellectual stimulation and I’d have time for exercise and actually relaxing, which are really suffering right now. Struggling to see how that could be more tragic than grinding away at something dull.

How solid is your marriage ? Because that split two ways with two houses isn’t huge and if tou say it wouldn’t be easy to get back in in say five years if he decided he wanted out. I retired earlier and love it but have much more money so even if we separated it wouldn’t affect anything. I too had an incredibly stressful full on job and I’ve had zero issues adjusting and absolutely love it and feel zero guilt

Does that matter, as long as they are enjoying themselves, using and developing skills and still growing as a person?

I retired at 56. I was a HoD at a busy secondary school and examiner for major exam board A level exams. I loved my job and was a teacher for over 22 years and examiner for about 19 years. It was part of my identity. I had a SIPP I could draw down from and investments as well as ISA's and property portfolio. In addition my DH still wanted to continue working in a well paid IT/Accountancy roll. There was just more to life I wanted to do. I loved on savings for first year then after 1 year I cashed in SIPP and took annuity for 10 years knowing after when annuity ran out of be getting my full state pension. I'm 64 now almost 65 and I'm never short of money. I'm free to go on cheaper holidays out of premium school holidays dates. Free to go to see my sister's which requires an overnight stay due to distance. DH retired at 60. We've both been on 2-3 holidays each year and a few eeekend breaks too. We've bought a small 2 bedroom second home in the UK by the sea. I'm looking forward to having it decorated to my taste. I can travel down to see my DGC 200 miles away and stay overnight. My garden is looking cared for now (except the grass). I bake because I enjoy doing it and often donate cakes/biscuits to school summer gets and Christmad fayres. I like to go around a lake near to where I live or the park with DH and his 2 dogs. We have breakfast out 2-3 times a week, lunch once and dinner once. We go to watch some county cricket games which we both enjoy. I've gym membership with a swim pool too, I should probably use a little more. I've still got enough money to give an allowance to my 3 DC each month and also the gifting £3k each year. I can still afford to help out my niece with a monthly allowance who is a student on a 3 year degree course. Before I retired I was nervous but I knew if I got bored I could always do a little tutoring and continue examining. I found plenty to occupy me. I've never been bored. I was so relieved I finished working before COVID. During COVID I was able to provide worksheets and PowerPoint displays of lessons for my niece who was in secondary education at a school that gave her very little to do for about 5 months. It's a change of mindset. Instead of thinking I need to save and build you need to think I can do as I please now. I've done my bit. Leave it to the younger ones. I thought this especially about examining A levels. Make sure you enjoy your retirement. Look out for some off peak holiday bargains.

sounds like you are in a solid financial position whatever happens. I'm 44 and absolutely loath the corporate world, trying to plan an exit!

Any decision you make doesn't have to be final. You could quit your corporate job being effectively worry free on money, enjoy yourself for 6-12 months and think about what will make you happy. That could be travelling or it could be starting up your own business or doing charity work etc. You could end up in a different corporate job if one came along you liked the look of, you'd have very little to lose if you didn't like it. You dont have to justify any of it to anyone else as long as its what you want to do.