Consumed with guilt over early potential retirement at 50 - why am I overthinking this so much?

[Midlifechampion]

So glad I found this thread and I’m in a very fortunate position so frankly feel like an idiot being so stressed about the decision.

transitioned into tech sales ten years ago and was very fortunate that’s id already have paid off our mortgage, so the income has been more than we needed, meaning accidently tbh we’ve in a position that at 50 we have enough across different levers (savings, investment, pension etc) that our financial advisor has said we are good to draw 50 to 60k a year no issues ( then factoring in inflation and also spending tapering until you typically need care)

It’s like the veil has been lifted because I’ve been grinding away at a very stressful, highly target driven job in the corporate world for the last few years when my heart left the building ages ago! I want to write, be more creative and see where it takes me and am incredibly lucky that I could potentially do it.

so why I am so bloody terrified! I’ve been the main bread winner for all of our lives (my dh has a health condition meaning he takes on jobs occasionally but it’s top up money) so I’m stuck in this guilt spiral of torching a well paid career others would be so grateful to have (I see so many people my age made redundant and can’t get back into work, with AI just accelerating that). And worried that if something I’ve not accounted for happens and I can’t get back into work that I’ve frankly messed it all up! My DD is 19 and doing an apprenticeship in a sector that doesn’t pay well but has purpose (which I love!) and I also want to help her with a house deposit which I’ve modelled and we can do that fine.

I just wish I could accept that it’s OK to not want this anymore and trust that it’s OK to start drawing down on what we’ve managed to build. I also think it’s a fear of the unknown, because I don’t know what life will feel like on the other side. i’m also aware that at 50 it’s very young but there are so many things I would like to do and this is much more of a retirement from a typical corporate job than me retiring fully.. it’s just that I can’t guarantee whatever I do next or actually make any money!

To be honest, it’s kind of consuming every waking our thinking about this which is not healthy and also adds another slab of guilt but I should be excited and elated that I can do this but the guilt is just crippling!

50-60k a year each or between you?

Between you, it’s paltry. Each, it doesn’t leave much money for a good standard of living including holidays etc.

Oh wow, really? Everything I’ve read has indicated 60k with no debt etc is very comfortable

People debate a lot about how much money you need. I have one friend who could retire now and have 60k a year with no debts at all and he thinks it isnt enough.
I have a small pension of less than 25k but I also have investments and retained a lump sum and I spend less now than when I worked, I used to spend money on my commute but I have a free travel card now which reduces the costs of getting around. I did pay off our mortgage. We aren't taking a big holiday this year.
My financial advisor made me complete a very detailed assessment of my monthly outgoings. I did this very carefully and included in my expenses per month of a luxury 3 week holiday on a Greek Island. So I know I can afford it if I want to go.
It really depends on what you want to do, if you want to go to the opera a lot at The Royal Opera house/ENO make sure you include it. Everyone's idea of essential is different.

I don't think it's a paltry amount. It partly depends on where and how you live. What's paltry to pp might be extravagant to me.

When I was thinking about retirement, I looked at what I was spending and planned on the basis that I would want the same level of spending going forward.

One thing I would say is if you give up working now in your 50s, the job market is incredibly tough at the minute and it would be hard to jump back on at anything like your current level of income. I don’t regret leaving financial services as the package was too good not to, but I was somewhat naive about how easy it would be to find employment afterwards. I have had the opportunity to work in a charity which turned out to be twice as dysfunctional and toxic than my previous role at about half the salary.

Is there any half way house - a sabbatical or reducing your hours?

Really common to feel this way, search for other people who’ve had this situation on Reddit FIREUK.

Unfortunately sabbatical is not on the cards , would be great if it was as you can ‘soft launch’ retirement 😁 I had thought that perhaps career break was a better way to position it on LinkedIn - but I’m acutely aware of how brutal the market is. TBH when I leave this tech sales leadership role, I would not take another target driven role like this anyway, so if I needed to go back into employment in a traditional sense, it couldn’t be this. I know in my heart I’m done with forecasting, pipeline and general revenue dysfunction!

I said to a friend yesterday, I just love the problem solving aspect with people, helping them strategise, develop proposals, improve our ways of working, coaching and I’d gladly help anyone do that. There’s something great about being able to do that with no sales target agenda

Will £50-£60k give you enough to have the life you want to lead? Apart from that do you have savings to replace cars (if needed), new roof, building maintenance, white goods. Helping any kids with savings, house deposits, wedding etc

I think if you can confidently say yes then fill your boots and don’t worry about what other people think.

£50-60k is about equivalent to 2 people working on minimum wage, doable, not comfortable. I think it's about what's quoted for 2 people for a "modest retirement". Assuming it is fully inflation protected, it would be enough to get by, I'm sure.

At a similar age to you, and a similar life stage regarding my children, mortgage paid off, savings and investments healthy etc I feel horrified by the idea of dropping our income down to that level. I don't want to downsize my life, start living on a fixed income, watching my pennies. I wzn't live my life to the full. I'm loving the large, unncumbered income, the holudays, the comfort.

We're on track for about £50-60K each in Final Salarary/CARE, fully inflation linked pension, plus we have in excess of £1mill in investments, where divdends are being reinvested (and all being well this will continue up to and beyond retirement), plus we're adding around £50k pa of surplus income too.

Hardly 'paltry'

When you have no mortgage or rent to pay, you are not putting aside savings and pension contributions etc.

All relative, I suppose.

I am sure the OP is able to do a budget for annual expenditure and a contingency for roof / boiler / car replacement.

Whether you feel you can manage on your new income entirely depends on your lifestyle. I have retired and live on about £22k pa with no trouble - but I have no mortgage or rent to pay - the house is mine. And I do not live extravagantly with foreign holidays. I have a small savings pot.

Working out the income you need should really be the easy bit. You know what you have now and the lifestyle you can afford. If £50-60k is enough to support that (with a few tweaks- no more working expenses but more spare time to fill) then what someone else would spend isn’t really relevant. PP with £120k in DB pensions and £1m other investments is really an outlier, not the base case.

I would however want to be sure that that £50k was jolly safe in any market, given that your retirement will hopefully be so long. Not £50k a year with a fair wind. And I’d also want to model what would happen if the state pension goes (I don’t think it will fwiw but a lot can change over 50 years).

https://www.retirementlivingstandards.org.uk/ This puts a comfortable retirement for 2 people at £62700 net. Are your figures net or gross, op?

I’d not wish to early retire on 50-60 a year , 25-30 each. I assume you earn much more than that now? Have you thought of the standard of living?

but I am fortunate and am retiring but on significantly more, and we have modelled many scenarios. But what was key was I don’t want to reduce our standard of living. Our financial advisor says people tend to spend more, when they retire as they’ve nothing to do . They then slow down about 75.

so the question is what do you want to do?we want to enjoy ourselves, meals out, gigs, holidays.i don’t wish to feel constrained.

so I’d think carefully about lifestyle you wish to live.

id also say retiring at50 is very young. I know someone who did it and with all good intentions her world is now very small. Going to the supermarket is a days activity . It’s like Monday we are going shopping then Tues we are going to the dentist. Wed we have nothing on. There is not a tv show or movie she’s not watched.

how much time will your activities take of your week. Whay lifestyle do you wish in retirement? Do you wish to travel, where to, how often, and in what sort of style. What about clothes. Personal care. Cars.

50-60 now, is very different to 50-60 in ten years.

So the model our FA gave us was 60k net and then indexed against inflation and the model looked as if it could have tolerated but to about 70k (again then indexed) and still not running out of money. So all the figures increased in line with typical inflation. But I have booked another meeting to be sure 😁

TBH if I could find a fulfilling job 2-3 days a week on a modest salary, that would be ideal!

I would have thought 60k net with no mortgage would be plenty to live on including holidays and work on house though go through it with your own figures. Its presumably invested so should more than match inflation.

This all sounds very doable, op. A few odd comments on the thread.

To be honest, I did think that 5K a month when you’ve got no mortgage or debt was a pretty decent amount of money and given that it is invested then as you say it will track along with the rate of inflation.

it’s that tricky situation of do I just hold out until the inevitable happens in tech and I’m probably made redundant at some point measured with the you get one life and money isn’t everything!

I think its fine - we have retired early and our day to day expenses, bills, car, food, clothes, personal care, days out, pets etc are about £30k a year and we eat whatever we want and go out whenever we want and could easily reduce that as well. Even so it would give you £30k a year spare for holidays and work on house. Holidays can also be got much more cheapily when you aren't tied to school holidays. Obviously you'll need to do your own figures but we spend about £9k a year on house improvements and £10k on holidays and that gives longhaul and shorthaul holidays and new bathroom, new kitchen, new roof in that, roughly one house project a year, and you'ld still have £10k a year spare.

Seriously me and dp are on a lot less than 60k a year with a mortgage of course it’s plenty. Op I definitely wouldn’t feel guilty for getting of the corporate ladder there are always other jobs with less stress but try and enjoy your retirement you can’t take your money with you and if your fa has said it’s doable go with that.

Op it’s doable what if you waited for a push then your health deteriorated would you not regret it 50 is not old by any means but life doesn’t always work out how we want or expect it. You have obviously worked hard and saved well for this opportunity so grab it with both hands. I would take it and start enjoying the freedom to do what you will enjoy.

You should be doing cartwheels around your garden - I did!!
In a few weeks or months you’ll wonder how you ever had time to work.
Plan what you’d really like to do - short term and long term. You’ll probably have time to do a quarter of your list.

I love this for you!
You’re in a good financial position (brother and SiL have similar amount and it’s plenty for them) and have ideas and opportunities to explore and give you structure to your next chapter (if that’s needed).
Life is too short to keep doing things that no longer serve you if you have other options.
You can also look at it that you’re vacating a job that someone else can take - if that helps.
Let us know what you ultimately decide - I’m excited for you.

Oh my goodness you are all so kind and encouraging- thank you! And yes I will report back once I press the button 😁

I completely agree. Even with all of the plans in the world people who retire at 50 are so, so boring by the time they are 70.

ypu think the same for housewives, long term unemployed, disabled people who can’t work. high net worth individuals or just your normal joe who retires early.

just curious. You feel people only remain interesting if they keep working?

😂