Why do I always end up paying more

[dyzzie]

On meals/drinks with friends. Example is today.. went for a lunch out with a friend. He suggested just going 50/50 as he couldn’t be bothered working things out… I took a pic of the bill and realised on way home I overpaid by £20 . Just so annoying. How should I do it.. short of adding things up as you go along. It was 2 courses with 1 bottle of wine plus 2 drinks for me and about 5 for him. I did not realise he had so much more! Maybe I just need to say let’s pay for what we each had going forward but it feels so awkward to do that

You ask for separate bills.

Yep I’d say that at the start… and watch his order shrink. It’s always the cheeky fuckers that push the bill split!

I’ve never had that happen as when I got out with friends we just pay for what we ordered

Why did you take a photo of the bill? Seems like you were aware of it and wanted to calculate it?
Just say we’ll pay for what we have and work yours out yourself.
Generally I’m the same as you, I don’t drink and tend to drive everywhere but happy to split the bill, cba with working out who had what. Definitely means I end up overpaying but the company and the time out is worth it.

Ask for separate bills next time - your friend will either have less drinks or happily pay for what they order.

If someone suggests going 50:50 check it's fair first!
Just say let's check the bill.
I don't usually add it all up these days but do look over the amounts, I'm not too worried about a couple of £ here or there but more than that I split it somewhere reasonable.

Say I we both had starter, main and a drink but one person's main was £5 more but my drink was £3 more I'm not going to quibble about the difference but in your case I'd say let's split the meal and the wine 50:50 but pay for our drinks afterwards. For me it finds the balance between the hassle and awkwardness of totting it all up but means another isn't shafted!

Are you vegetarian? When I go out with friends if we split it equally I usually end up paying more than I had

You ask for seperate bills and/or add things up separately at the end. Really not a big deal. Your “friend” screwed you over intentionally. Don’t be a push over and fight your corner and you won’t keep being taken advantage off.

It shouldn’t feel awkward. Your ‘friend’ should feel awkward for shafting you!

Just say in future, ‘let’s pay separately’, before you order. It’s not difficult.

Are you going to ask your friend for the £20 they owe you?

We split the bill 50:50 but we always have a glance and make sure it’s fair. If it’s not, one person will always pay a bit more to make sure it’s fair. Your friend is a CF!!!

Thanks all for comments. I am going to send this to my friend ‘Hi friend. I realised that I over paid slightly for my meal yesterday by about £12 plus the drink I paid for at the start so total £18. Can you possibly transfer this? Thanks and sorry I perhaps should have got out the calculator at the time but neither of us could be bothered. Here is the copy of receipt. Thanks xx’. Hopefully this will be well received.

I wouldn’t do it now after the fact (unless you are totally desperate for the £12). However, for future, just lay down your expectations at the start of the meal.

You need to be more assertive!
Restaurants are quite happy to do separate bills; or there are apps, or just add up what you’ve spent individually.,
I’m vegetarian and I am usually driving - I’m not subbing someone’s lobster and champagne!

I find that the people who suggest going 50/50 are usually those who are going to benefit!

I think the message you intend to send is fine. 50:50 split only works if the orders are also 50:50.

I'm OK with splitting food bills as IME with friends we all tend to eat largely the same amount/no one tends to go really frugal (like one bowl of soup) or splash out on lobster or wagyu steak. And it tends to even out over time.
Separate drinks bills can be a good idea though. I don't drink, but most of my friends do, so often do this.
Although if I have a couple of mocktails, depending on where we are, they're not always much cheaper.

The time to do it was before you started ordering, or failing that, before the bill was paid.

No way I’d be doing it now.

No, don’t do that. In future say up front I’m on a bit of a budget at the moment so lets not split the bill.

Agreed. I’d definitely not send that message.

Oh god I absolutely wouldn't do that. You agreed to go 50/50 when you paid so you can't now ask for £18 back. That is embarrassing

No you can’t resolve it now.

I just add up in my head roughly and add a tip.

That isn’t very clear. What has your drink at the start got to do with it? I thought your OP said he had 5 drinks to your 2-is that the problem or not?

I wouldn’t bother quibbling about it now but next time someone suggests 50/50, I’d say, ‘oh, let me just look at the bill’ and I’d quickly tot up what mine was and say, ‘mine cost about 25 and the bill is 100, so maybe 50/50 is a bit uneven-shall we just pay for what we had?’

If your friend/boyfriend/partner/whoever objects to that, they aren’t really someone I’d want to go out with again.

I agree it's too late to do it now, but I'd keep it in mind for the future to look over the bill and make the amounts fairer. They don't seem to mind people splitting the bill between 2 cards

Go for a coffee next time.

Providing you're clear from the beginning how you intend to split the bill does anyone care?