Ex withholding childs money

[Chilolo]

My little one has a kids savers account that I asked my now ex to open back in 2023. We had received £1000 and I wanted that saved for him. Unfortunately, that £1000 was never deposited (as I came to find out in 2024), as my ex claims he lost the cash (but somehow the envelope was still with him).

He provided me with all the login information so we both have visibility of the account. And money has been put into that account since.

Fast forward to now and I have opened up a Junior Cash ISA for my little one. I have asked my ex to send half of what is in our childs kids savers account into the cash ISA considering the long-term benefits of it. He has adamantly refused with no explanation.

I am not sure why and everyone that knows about our dynamic say its a power play moment he's using. As the kids saver was opened by him, theres nothing much I can do. But it just feels very frustrating to be in an unnecessary constant tug of war.

There’s probably no money!

There actually is! I can see how much is in there. I just dont get why he wont move half into an account that is actually better for our little one. It's puzzling!

And if i attempt to move the money myself, it would be considered as 'fraud' because the account is in his name even though he gave me all the access information (but this was back when we were still together).

Hindsight is 20:20! We were still together then when I asked him to open the kids savers account.

I've put money into the original savers account myself too. I wish I could agree that I feel bitterness, but I don't. More so irritation than anything.

Save your own money for your child. Hopefully he will keep the savings he has for them as well.

That's a bit of leap but sure

I think you have to accept that money has gone and just focus on saving what you can.

Just accept that you aren’t going to see that money again, and concentrate on building savings in the account you’ve now started.

It’s a power play because he knows that refusal would piss you off. As the person who opened the account, he will be enjoying that your hands are tied.

Forget the money and start again. Even if it’s your family who gave the grand, don’t turn this into a pointless fight. He won’t care that the JISA will be more interested in or whatever because his feelings of anger towards you are stronger.

This thread is for venting purposes, folks.

I know nothing will change and have will just continue with the JISA account i've created

Imagine you had opened the account yourself, and then he said give me half. Would you honestly give him half??

I think thats what I find puzzling about it all: the power play!

I dont intend to push, i just responded to his email stating what the benefits were etctera, so that he could understand its good for our little one to have both and we could continue saving into both. But it would seem that theres no desire for collaboration on that front (as well with other things).

Ha, yes! Because they money belongs to the child. Especially as the JISA cannot be withdrawn at all.

Might be important to note that we both have put money into the original savers account, even if its under his name, and the child benefit goes into there too,

Is he the type who doesn’t want to do something because you asked but would have moved the money if it was his idea? Things are acrimonious so you need to give up on the idea of collaborating like co-parents.

Is the CB claim in your name? If it’s not and you’re majority parent you should probably rectify that because parent who claims the CB is sometimes the “tiebreaker” in custody stuff like which parent’s choice of school should be prioritized when care is 50/50. This would inflame things but if the claim is in your name, you could have it transferred to the JISA?

So there’s more in there than £1000?

Who gives a child £1000 in cash???
Also, stop the CB payments into that account.

Yep

I honestly think so, as there are ample examples of when I've suggested things that gets rejected but then months down the line, he actions it. Very little example: I suggested changing the swimming class as I couldnt afford the cost and found a cheaper alternative. He refused and I said okay but I cant pay the half any more, but continued taking my little one to the classes. He decided to stop the classes altogether without telling me. The receptionist had to be the one to tell me.

Thanks for the information on CB!

I am sound petty but I would keep records that you asked for the money and the dad refused or ignored you, just in case in the future you get blamed for stealing it. Your ex might move it or anything in years to come.

I wouldn’t show the screenshot unless necessary but I would protect myself just in case.

I tend to assume the worst though