Ex withholding childs money

[Chilolo]

My little one has a kids savers account that I asked my now ex to open back in 2023. We had received £1000 and I wanted that saved for him. Unfortunately, that £1000 was never deposited (as I came to find out in 2024), as my ex claims he lost the cash (but somehow the envelope was still with him).

He provided me with all the login information so we both have visibility of the account. And money has been put into that account since.

Fast forward to now and I have opened up a Junior Cash ISA for my little one. I have asked my ex to send half of what is in our childs kids savers account into the cash ISA considering the long-term benefits of it. He has adamantly refused with no explanation.

I am not sure why and everyone that knows about our dynamic say its a power play moment he's using. As the kids saver was opened by him, theres nothing much I can do. But it just feels very frustrating to be in an unnecessary constant tug of war.

If your ex lost the £1000 cash then he should replace it!

I have it all in writing and I do think I need to start assuming the worst. I've been trying to still co-parent despite the tenseness, and considering we have 50/50 split agreed between us. But this instance has been illuminating. I genuinely didn't think this would even be an issue

He did a year later! Only because i found out in 2024 and I do think the shame of me finding out and him hiding it thus looking like he stole it, is why he finally paid the money back, after he had lied about how much was in there before i requested to see it myself.

Honestly, I dont even believe he lost the cash.

Your child benefit is going into the account that he basically controls? Did I read that correctly? Change that then let him get on with saving for his kid. Probably hoping to surprise child when older. It's irritating but hopefully this is the worst of it.

A) control
B) because he can
C) he can say this was his savings and you didn't contribute (not in your name)
D) can spend it if needs to as it's not locked away

My friends going through this and as part of the child arrangements order was ordered to provide visibility (all friends money nothing by ex). He closed the account and opened another one, and said it's not court ordered (technically true) but what an A$$$$$$$.
They are going back to court as he's breached other things and friend is asking to have access whatever the account name, and failing that it transfered to her so she can setup one ...it didn't get captured as part of the financial order as judge said "you should be grown ups about this stuff" guess now

They do it because they can and it sucks! As you say it's not rational!

I worked at a bank and I had a lovely lady call in upset about her kids ISA. She opened it when her daughter was a child and now she's coming of age the account and balance automatically becomes hers. The problem was the daughter had gotten in with a Class A crowd and the mum knew the money would be spent on such. Sadly there's nothing that can be done, that money belongs to the daughter. Fortunately, the account was registered to the mums address so she could intercept the mail, if she chose to.

This has stopped me putting money in an account that automatically becomes my child's upon age. Im telling you this just for awareness and to consider how much you put in the ISA overall. No one looks at their adorable 4yr old and thinks anything but joy and light for their future.

Get the CB put into your bank account. If you don't need it then think about opening a child premium bonds account & buying them premium bonds every month.

Absolutely plenty of people do.

If relatives and people can afford to help the younger generation, given they’ll find it even harder than us, most do/would.

Who doesn’t open savings accounts for their kids these days, regardless of contributions?

If you have the log in details can you not transfer it yourself?

Side note to OP, once all this resolved. Don’t both with a cash JISA as the money will lose value as inflation erodes savings, you need to invest it in a stocks and shares JISA, probably say with vanguard and put it into 100% life strategy or their all-world equity fund. You’ll see more like 10% per annum growth, but there will be volatility. Look up Rebel Finance school on Facebook and you tube

Protect your sanity. Let it go, start your own saving.

Nope. Thats considered fraud if he flags it. Which, knowing him, he will.

Is it still fraud if he gave you the log in details (presumably so you can see/move money)? Is it still fraud if you can prove the money was cash you put in yourself?

If yes to the above then I think all you can do it put it behind you. Stop thinking about the injustice and move on. Sort out child benefit asap into your own account. Set up your own account for your child as you are doing and make sure that anyone who wants to gift the child money has the new account details.

Never mention it again, give him no levers to move you with.

When you say “we had received £1000”. - who from? Your ex’s family?

It’s quite clear you and your ex despise one another.

He hasn’t spent the money, it is still in the savings account for your son. So focus on your savings and leave him to administer the savings he is managing.