Working Mum - Full Time or Part Time debate

[youjumpijump]

My husband and I have children - I am currently on maternity leave, due back in April.

I work full time hours over 4 days and earn £50,000 per year. I have a generous annual leave allowance, family private medical and a healthcare cashplan where I can claim back various healthcare items for myself and my two children. The hours are long (9-10 hours per day) meaning the 4 days I’m working I see the children for maximum 30-60 minutes. I cannot work from home in this role. I have one day a week to spend with the children, and weekends.

My husband earns £65,000 and works 5 days a week.

We live in Surrey and we have a large mortgage.

I have recently been approached for a new role, new company. It’s 25hrs per week, £25,000. Lower annual leave entitlement and less benefits but a much more flexible set up - hybrid working which would allow more time with the children and I could do all school drop offs and pick ups when my child starts school.

The new role is half my salary, and less benefits.

I am mixed with the money V time debate. We would of course have less money coming into the house - would be manageable but still a big change for us (less days out / holidays etc)

Is it worth it? Would love to hear your stories.

It is a big drop. Can you move to 4 days with normal working hours instead of condensed? It's not just your current earnings, but pension payments too that would be reduced. It's also very hard to work your way back up from a junior role career break of any length.

5 days in 4 is punishing. Could you do normal 4 days or even 4.5 days in 4? I would do that rather than change roles.

I don’t understand why you would take this new role - from what you’ve said you’d halve your salary but not your hours? Why not just stay in the job with benefits and reduce your hours to align with your financial commitments?

Thanks for your comments - I do agree! Unfortunately I cannot do anything less than FT hours in my current role @ my company. So it’s FT or nothing there….

It is a reduction in hours - from full time to 25h per week.

OP have you sounded out your current employers about going LTFT, maybe dropping a day? As someone upthread said even 4 days in 4 or 4 days in 3 if you don’t mind the long days?

Have you put in a formal request? What reason did they give you?
Only you know if you’re happy with your current situation and what you can afford to reduce your income by.
But I can’t imagine dropping to that salary with children if I could avoid it, can you keep looking?

I used to be FT hours over 5 days before kids, when I put in my flexible working request, all I could get agreed was compressed hours over 4 days, so I know it’s either stay there on the long 4 days with salary & benefits or find something else, less salary and less hours

There are so many threads about this.

I never understand why it’s I always the women making these sacrifices. Your husband has the same right to request flexible working and him dropping a day a week would cost a lot less than you halving your salary.

I would take less hours and money than more hours and more money if it meant I’d be spending more time with my family!
Money isn’t everything and children grow up so quick, I wanted every minute I could with mine when they were younger, which is why I didn’t really go back to work properly until they were all in secondary school and a lot older then I worked nights

How come it’s only ever women saying this?

Because it was what I wanted to do 🤣🤣
My husband had reduced hours too 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

Yes it’s worth it if you can afford the drop in salary and it doesn’t affect your life too much.

Is it possible to go part time in current role? You would earn more and keep the benefits and extra holidays.

Could you negotiate at all for the new job. £25k for 25 hrs isn’t very good. Compared to your current job if you worked 40hrs per week 25hrs would be £31,250.

I would prefer time with my children Vs the high pressure job with no flexibility. But then I don't live in a large mortgaged house in Surrey, so can you afford the luxury of working part time?

If the drop in salary is not an issue and you really feel you want this time with your kids, I'd go for it. They are only young once. Different if you need the money but I think if you are lucky enough not to, then there will always be opportunities to earn more in the future. Our set-up is not much different from what you have proposed. DH higher earner and enjoys his job. I also enjoy my job but value the time with DC. I will increase my hours when they are older and want me around less!

What would happen if you worked 5 days? Would it be more balanced or 4.5?
Could your one day off become two afternoons?

Whilst its lovely picking your child up from school and i did do that. It's not necessarily quality time. It depends on the child - one of mine couldnt do childcare so there wasnt much choice. But they are often tired and just want a snack and to watch tv, or want a friend to play with. Doing it once or twice a week would be plenty.

Funny you made no mention of him though.

Firstly, I think you’d be better off working your current role over 5 days rather than 4. It just doesn’t seem worth it to have such very long days, all for one day off with them. I found it better to spend a bit more time each day with them than to work compressed hours when they were little. This might make it all seem less stressful?

What impact would cost of childcare have when thinking about the salary drop for the potential new role?

Interesting that you were approached for this new role - might there be other options possible at some point?

"Money isn't everything".

Bet it is only those in high paying jobs that say this.

edit: just saw you can’t wfh

I’d personally go back to 5 days and see if your husband could drop a day or reduce his hours - I do 31 hours over 4 days as I did get my flexible working agreed and my partner dropped a day as well.

Coffeeandbooks88

"Money isn't everything".
Bet it is only those in high paying jobs that say this.

To be honest when I was younger I’d have said time, now with teenagers, I’m raging with myself, wishing my kids could have more, wishing I had savings and a proper pension and thinking I could have spent the quality time at the weekends instead (am in retail now so no money and no time!) . Saying that I think perhaps I’d try everyone’s option c instead! Best of luck op!

If you don’t go back will they recoup any enhanced mat pay?

are the logistics of returning full time a total pain?

id prob go back for a bit, see how it feels, then decide. The other offer doesn’t seem so special id give up a good job in advance. But it may be you end up tempted.

if getting nursery sorted for the new job is a nightmare in itself that you are keen to avoid that’s different and you might want to start looking now. But check recoup of mat pay first.

You know why 🙄. Men in most cases earn more so it's more sensible for women to drop hours than the men. Women usually want to spend more time with their children, it's a maternal instinct. There is nothing wrong with this.

I don’t think either sounds ideal. You’re obviously in demand so can you find another option that would be somewhere in between the two?

I am not in the position to halve my salary but I don’t make as much as you do currently and have a nice balance of hybrid work and flexible hours so I work full time across 4.5 days but in the office for 3 so I have a couple afternoons off after school hours.

There must be other jobs out there, so keep looking. There must be something that will give you comparable benefits and less of an income drop.

Meanwhile, ask work to do 3 long days and 2 short days instead, so split your forth compressed day in half. That way you still get to spend extended afternoons with them, and it’s more balanced for you. Not sure how old is your eldest, but once they’re both at school, 9-3 will be eaten up by school anyway.

well I hope those women don’t ever complain about it later on when Billy Big Balls walks off and just send the relevant child maintenance

One if the reasons it is so much harder for women in the workplace is because so many of them make the decision to prioritise childcare whilst men prioritise earning.

If women don’t stop doing it, what will ever change?