Working Mum - Full Time or Part Time debate

[youjumpijump]

My husband and I have children - I am currently on maternity leave, due back in April.

I work full time hours over 4 days and earn £50,000 per year. I have a generous annual leave allowance, family private medical and a healthcare cashplan where I can claim back various healthcare items for myself and my two children. The hours are long (9-10 hours per day) meaning the 4 days I’m working I see the children for maximum 30-60 minutes. I cannot work from home in this role. I have one day a week to spend with the children, and weekends.

My husband earns £65,000 and works 5 days a week.

We live in Surrey and we have a large mortgage.

I have recently been approached for a new role, new company. It’s 25hrs per week, £25,000. Lower annual leave entitlement and less benefits but a much more flexible set up - hybrid working which would allow more time with the children and I could do all school drop offs and pick ups when my child starts school.

The new role is half my salary, and less benefits.

I am mixed with the money V time debate. We would of course have less money coming into the house - would be manageable but still a big change for us (less days out / holidays etc)

Is it worth it? Would love to hear your stories.

Follow your heart if you can afford to, and factor in if you need less childcare because this might save money. And don’t necessarily listen to people who say it will blight your career and your pension. Maybe for women who stopped work completely and retired at 60 that was more of an issue. But now we’re all working till late 60s a few years of working less hours doesn’t have to kill your career and there are lots of years to contribute to a pension.

my kids are now uni age so I have seen other parents’ careers over 20 years, men and women, going part time ( including DH) some stopping altogether, some going back in at the level they left 12 years before, some retraining, some full time all through, some portfolio careers, some who left school with few qualifications doing access course and degree and becoming qualified nurses, etc etc. people doing amazing jobs in lots of sectors, running businesses and getting back out there, while juggling the teenagers and the old folk. What I want to say is , none of this could have been predicted when I met these people at nursery and reception. I look around and I think we’re all amazing, and going part time doesn’t mean you’re written off forever, so go for it if works for you and your family!

Maybe women like doing it, ever consider that. No ones making us. I work part time and I'm very happy with the work life balance thank you. Im thankful I'm able to afford to spend more time with my kids whilst they are young. I could work full time and out my kids in childcare my other half doesn't mind either way but I choose to spend time with them and he's happy to pay more of the finances to enable this. I know plenty of my friends that have worked part time when kids are young and have retrained, even got degrees later in life and have good jobs now thier kids are teens /late teens.

I would take the new job. Hours or days with my small children are so precious to me. They mean the world

I agree with a previous poster, keep looking for another role. The second job is a big drop in salary and presumably doesn't come with all the benefits? Even if they say the role is part time, you'll probably still be expected to cram as much work into the 25 hours as you possibly can.

You will never get these early years back, and it is so, so worth it to be there for the pick ups and drop offs. I work 24 hours a week compressed hours in a not very high earning job, husband is not a high earner. We make ends meet, we have old cars and holiday in the UK. It ultimately depends on your values as a family, but it sounds like you would benefit from this, and it doesn’t have to be forever. Assuming you are in your 30s or early 40s, you have so very many years to work, and you can rebuild your career once the kids are slightly bigger.

whats your DH doing to contribute to childcare? My DH and I both have the same compressed hours arrangement but alternate days off. I wouldn’t have considered doing this if he didn’t do it to.

Its not a huge amount for surrey so I wouldn’t drop my salary by 50% no.

Before I would apply/ accept any other job I would put in a flexible working request at your current job

. The worse they can do is say no.

@lalalalalala2024 She did! Agreed compressed hours. No reduced hours.

Personally I'd stick with 50k job because its what I did.

Mainly because...

• Once you get off the merrygoround its very hard to get back into well paying jobs.
• I always want to be financially independent/solvent. Just. In. Case.
• the private medical is something I/my family have needed and I really value it

Bit it depends on your strategy.
I want to be highly present and available in late primary and secondary as I feel thats when things can "go wrong"
Some of my friends think all the parenting happens 0-11 and after that is when your career is a focus.

Do you like your current job @youjumpijump ? Do you love it? Or is it meh? That changes my answer

I would look at the long game. What kind of job do you want in 5 years? 10 years? How does that look like with ‘availability’ for your children? Yes it’s shit to work FT when they are small, BUT as PP said it keeps you in your career and potentially gives you options later.

Do either of these jobs give you want you want longer term? My DH may be made redundant shortly. As I stayed in work and I am the higher earner, we’ll be ok. What happens do you in that situation OP if you take the less hours job?

She can put it another one ..

it’s a lot harder to reject a request now than it may have been before she had children. They would have to demonstrate the impact of how leaving 1 hour a day would be detrimental to the company.

Nope, far too much of a drop for me. However, your current job sounds hard and I would look at moving to another company with more flexible working - many businesses are much better nowadays and while your benefits are great, they're not that unusual in corporate. There must be a solution where you can earn maybe 40k on fewer hours or with more flexibility/WFH, so take a step back without tanking your career.

I work four days compressed hours, but mostly from home so no commute and one of us is always able to do drop off (we live very near school). DS goes to after-school club four days a week and loves it. I pick up on Fridays and love that I get to do that. I wouldn't want to go to a low paid role at this point in my career, as I doubt is ever get back to where I am now.

The alternative job does seem worth it. If you add up the value of current benefits the pay differential will be significant, which will make you feel like you work almost as hard for so much less.

Keeping looking for another job. A better paid job with more flexibility is possible.

I’ve never been a high earner, it’s true though money isn’t everything!
Id rather spend time with my children and now grandchildren than work when they were younger, you can never get that time back, why pay someone to look after your children? lol I would have been worse off if I did that!

Why??

Compressed hours are actually brutal with kids. It sounds like a good idea on paper but in my experience, everyone I know that has done a 5 in 4 has struggled. 9 day fortnights are a bit gentler if your husband could also wangle that so you still only need 4 days of nursery.