Child Maintenance has dropped from £400 to £49 per month

[SingleScotsMum]

Long story short…
my manipulative and emotionally abusive ex has very little to do with my two boys. Sees them overnight once weekly but neither of my kids want to go.
Ex has threatened to go self employed so “he doesn’t have to pay me a penny” and lo and behold, he’s quit his job and gone self employed. He’s now only obliged to pay £7 per week, per child until tax return (April 27).
Any advice?
Also… How do I save £400 per month??? In work full time (45+ hours) and have little support. Help!

It's a myth that self-employed people don't have to pay child maintenance. They have to pay child maintenance the same as everyone else does.

Are you saying he's lying about his income?

Ah sorry, didn't read the original post properly.

It's a disgrace that 33 years after the CMS was born they still can't make self employed parents pay - i mean, it really really CANNOT be that hard, can it? This government sure do make single parents (usually women) suffer if they so much as claim £1 they aren't entitled to but for some reason self employed parents (ususally men) get away with it.

I bet they'd do something about it if the non-paying parents were women.

Hope you manage to sort OP.

What sort of man thinks it's ok to pay £49 a month for his kid?

I don’t understand why they’ve set the rate at £7, we were told the same for DP who has a young baby (affair). Neither of us work due to disability and he was told £7 but we pay £25 a week and set up subscription for formula milk to be delivered to her and we do an Amazon order for nappies etc every 2 weeks plus we get the next size up of clothes every 2 months and that’s about £60 and pay for that too. Even on benefits it’s possible to pay more than £7!

It always stuns me how so called parents can pull stunts like this.

As for money saving tips OP, I honestly don’t know. As you’re already working 45 hours a week extra shifts aren’t doable & I doubt you’d be working so much if you already had lots of money.

I’m sorry. There should be some sort of law against this, unless in unavoidable circumstances such as redundancy or illness. FF (feckless father) should have to put the exact same level of thought into providing for HIS sons as you do!

@whatttThe Have I read that right?!? You're with a man that cheated on you and not only had an affair, but a baby?!? And you're still with him?

And taxpayers are paying for it all. Depressing.

OMG! What is the world coming to?

Yes, for now. While I get things in order and finish my courses.

@whatttThe Please have some self respect and leave. This absolutely takes the biscuit!

I know. I have plans in place but I need to make sure everything is in order. I’m very unhappy about the situation. It’s not the fault of the baby though hence me posting about the subject of maintenance and why I’ve made sure the financial support was there from us with joint benefits for the time being while I get everything arranged that I need to

@whatttThe You sound sensible, but do seek therapy at some point - that is a major mind game your DP has done to you!

Yes I’m having therapy already.

@whatttThe Stay strong. Once your ducks are in a row; dump him and never look back! What a dick!

My ex did similar. 3 50 each a week for 3 dc..
That was csa..
I didn't even bother claiming cms... It's a bloody joke.
Not had a penny since 2012

Post it on his business Facebook page along with any screenshots you have?

If the kids don’t want to go for 1 night then it would be hugely unfair on the children to suggest 50/50

He’d just delete it.

Also, I think OP would find that it wouldn’t have much lasting effect anyway, no one really cares. The situation with the CMS wouldn’t be as it was, if people did.

It there was ever a government department that needed real strong jaws, it's CMS. How about a petition to get a CMS that focuses on the child and starts ensuring the absent parents pays properly! In response, can you speak to the grandparents, have a thorough review of all your outgoings, cut subs, just to mitigate a little of the list income. We really need a societal bame and shame.

What a piece of shit.
I can only assume that people who do this dont love their children even a tiny bit.
How can they? Who would fight so hard to not provide for their child if they loved them?

I wish the UK would take more action when people ( I'm saying people but let's be honest 99.9999999% of the time it's men) and start giving them real consequences for neglecting their children.

As my adult daughter says - he hated you more than he loved me. She's no contact now, for this and many other reasons.

I think it is this. My friend has a similar situation and it absolutely is the fact that he hates her (despite him having an affair and choosing to leave) much more than he loves his kids.

CMS is a disgrace and something needs to be done to give it proper impetus to actually do what it’s set up to do.

Does his mum know what he is doing to her grandchildren?

Sad....but so true.

Those suggesting dumping the kids who already don't want to see this man once a week on his doorstep are disgusting.
Cut all contact with this POS and bring your kids up your way, with a good example of love and routine.

They are both disabled