Will I ever be able to buy a home?

[DoesItSparkJoyMarie]

Hi all, looking for advice from those with more financial nous.

I'm a single mum, currently a housing association tenant after being royally screwed financially in an ongoing divorce (abusive relationship; he is in the family home mortgage free; any money I may have got from the settlement has been eaten by legal fees - divorce has been going on 4 years and counting).

I work full time and earn 41K. Ex pays nothing at all towards child. Every time I try to save, some horror happens e.g. washing machine breaks, child needs braces, or most recently my car tyre got slashed. I currently have 1k in long term savings and £120 in an ISA. Had to take out a debt repayment plan that ruined my credit rating when we left my ex; it's paid down now so credit score is poor and even if I make small steps to boosting it, the plan will stay on my record for 6 years.

I'm looking to make a career pivot that will open up higher earnings in the medium to long term, but I just can't see how I'll ever save a deposit or get offered a mortgage while funding my child and myself single-handed in this climate. I'm 40 so repayment terms are a worry - will I basically age out right as I manage to scrape together the deposit, if I even can?

Anyone been in a similar position or have any words of wisdom?

Difficult to know if you have room to save without seeing the figures.

You could still get a mortgage if you can get a deposit together.

But does it really matter if you stay renting? Each kind of living comes with pros and cons try not to worry about this too much. You and your child have a home to live in and there is a lot to be said for that.

Thanks, while that's true our current flat is up 8 flights of stairs in an objectively terrible area (like, needles in the stairwell; police taping off the street due to stabbings; car tyre being slashed bad). I don't want to just accept that this is where we're both at forever - a neighbour 2 floors down is effectively housebound due to her mobility issues for example. I don't want that for my retirement!

Can you use some of your savings to find another place to rent?

My savings at the moment wouldn't cover the deposit, first month's rent and moving costs for a private rental. It'd also definitively tie me into renting forever I think. Maybe my only option is to keep pushing to earn more - the tenancy I currently have is secure and cheaper than private, so I can save any extra without the worry of being turfed out.

I wonder do you need better legal advice to extracate yourself from the divorce? The way you describe it there is obviously an imbalance.

I get why you wouldn't want to stay there with your child. It's sad areas go like this.

Are you on home swapper, I know you don't want to live there but someone might want that area.

Really scrutinise your income see where you can make savings.

Would you consider shared ownership? Again it has its pros and cons but good for single income mortgage.

Yes, this looks like good advice. How is he in a mortgage free home and you have nothing?

If you let the debt management plan run its course you have 6 years to really save before you start looking for a mortgage on more favourable terms. That gives 20 years to pay down a mortgage before you retire. In your shoes I’d have a 6 year plan - so increasing your earnings, changing career, saving aggressively so you’re in the best possible place to buy once the debt drops off your record.

A lot can happen in 6 years, and your child will be older and more independent so your options will change too. The first thing I’d do is get the best legal advice possible to get out of the marriage - you’re stuck in limbo for now but you might see other possibilities if you’re free from that tie.

you've got lots of time yet. Banks are probably going to keep extending mortgage ages/terms because so many people buy later/need longer to pay off/are working longer.

Bear in mind that even if you get a mortgage aged 50 on the basis you'll be working full time earning X amount until 67, you don't actually have to - as long as you can still make your repayments it doesn't matter if you then switch to part time or whatever.

Are you particularly tied into your area? There are still swathes of the country where housing is (comparatively) affordable. Obviously not everyone wants or is able to move there, but if owning a home is the main priority for you above staying with a particular employer or near friends and family it's always an option.

I wouldn't even think about it for the next few years until the debt repayment is off your credit record - concentrate on getting the divorce finalised/improving your pay etc. Any chance of getting child maintenance?

It’s not impossible but you need to start saving towards it now really. £40k salary and housing association flat, there should be some room to save now? What are your outgoings?

And how much do you need for a deposit in the areas you’d consider?

I would aim for it in 6 years, your credit will have recovered, your earning power you have said is set to increase so save everything you can in the next six years.

when you hit 55 do you have a private pension you can take a lump sum out of to pay off a big chunk and reduce the term?

I would also set your sights on maybe a nice apartment rather than a big house, that will be cheaper and you won’t need as much of a mortgage.

Good luck!

I got a mortgage at 50 years with not a fantastic record. Keep your nose clean for a number of years. I'd stick to renting until then because with a bad record they charge high interest and demand a bigger deposit. If you get a place now, they'll demand at least 10 or 15% deposit, so it's unlikely you'll have enough, plus there are legal fees. Mortgages are given based on the ability to pay, so the wage needs to be maintened for at least 6 months. The bad debt will vanish. I've only got one dodgy one, but when I got the mortgage 3 years ago I had more. Get something small and anything you can manage because once you are on the ladder, your score goes higher.

Stick with renting, even if you can downsize to save as much as possible.

This, absolutely.

why would he be mortgage free while you don’t have a pot to piss in? Have all his assets been traced, including pensions, ISAs, etc?

Is your solicitor competent and experienced in dealing with financially complex divorces? Are you making best use of their time? Have you tried to self-represent in court instead of engaging expensive barristers?

First off, you should be chasing him for child maintenance payments.
If he’s working, it’s I believe about 20% of his earnings.
Don’t let him get away with it!, Also you can put it towards your savings.
I would ask why your divorce is taking so long, if he’s deliberately dragging it out, you need to get the 4 years of child maintenance from him.
I’m going to suggest that you can still save towards a mortgage, if your bank does them, stay with the same bank.

Thanks so much for these really helpful replies. There is a long and sorry tale behind the divorce and financial split - short version is, he is from significant wealth and I am not; he refused to leave the family home and claimed I was entitled to nothing; it wouldn't have stood up in court but he was prepared to take it that far and I couldn't afford to. He pays no maintenance - lawyer has advised I chase this once the divorce goes through but I'm not holding out hope of this ever changing.

My main worry was that unless I managed to buy soon, I'd not get a mortgage at all, so it's a relief that I could wait out the 6 years til my credit is better. I'm also very happy to go for a flat rather than a house - just want the security for both of us.

I'm tied to my city for the medium term but it's not completely batshit prices (northern UK). A 10% deposit on a semi decent flat in a semi nice area where I am would currently be 152 - 15K.

You need to fight for what is due to you in the divorce. You can self represent in court. - you will receive guidance from court officials and judges will usually be helpful in directing plaintiffs who don’t have a barrister.

IANAL but I’d really question why it’s better not to put in a claim for CM until the divorce is finalised.

In your shoes I would invest in an hour’s lawyer time. Find someone with an excellent track record in difficult and long drawn out divorces.

Check out Wikivorce and Divorce for Dummies and make a list of questions to ask, then ‘interview’ potential solicitors before you pick one you feel comfortable with.

This is for your children as much as for yourself!

It is tough and the government do not give a toss about working single mum's. I tried to buy my council house on 50k wage on a 167k house, despite outstanding credit, good deposit, no childcare and miminal spending however it was a no, all thanks to Liz Truss crappy budget the other year. Unless you are aiming to earn 100k or win big money, buying is hard. You could try doing a mutual exchange which I did 7 years ago. Also try claiming uc. God knows what the budget will do on Wednesday. Most of my friends are only on the property ladder due to handouts from parents.

You've paid for braces for a child??

I think one of the biggest factors is where about you are in the country.

You will be able to get a mortgage with a debt recovery plan in place. You will need to approach a specialist mortgage broker in your area and they will place your mortgage with the many mortgage providers who specialise in this area of lending. There will be a fee for these services.
And you have the best reason for having a debt recovery plan in place, an abusive ex. Just be totally honest with your broker.

And you can have mortgages nowadays of up to 40 years and one's that go into retirement as well. A broker will look at all this for you.

Your issue is your deposit. Can a family member gift this to you? They will need to sign a form to say it is not a loan, it's a gift and that they have no interest in the property you purchase, and they will also need to produce statements showing the gifted funds for money laundering purposes.

You will end up paying a higher rate of interest than your peers but that's the payoff for having a debt recovery plan in place but when the plan finishes you can always re-mortgage to a more competitive/market rate.

Please find a specialist broker.

What's so shocking about that?

Could you ask to transfer to another HA property? Not sure how it works but it's worth a go because giving up a lifetime tenancy isn't something to be taken lightly, in my view (I believe they're all lifetime tenancies or does it depend on the HA?).

Taking on a mortgage of £137K on one OK but not high salary would make me very nervous (could you even get one paying back over 30 years?) so I would really try and save as much as you can for a bigger deposit, if you do decide to leave social housing., or move a bit further away to a cheaper area. Flats aren't selling well and won't be for a long time so in the next few years you could be in a really good position.

My DN and his DW got a mortgage aged 46 and 50. He has always stayed home with the DC and she works. They bought a do-er upper in a nice area, got a mortgage over 25 years but plan to pay it in 13 years with overpayment. It can be done.

For the moment perhaps try to get legal advice about your divorce settlement and maybe try to move areas to a better house.

My Dsis stayed in rented after two divorces, tolerated an awful area with a HA, built up a good history with them and bid on property for retirement - she now has a bungalow in a really nice area.

Maybe look at shared ownership? Part rent/part mortgage, very minimal deposit and the option to staircase to full ownership. If you're in HA you could ask them about this; they might have some properties available.