Will I ever be able to buy a home?

[DoesItSparkJoyMarie]

Hi all, looking for advice from those with more financial nous.

I'm a single mum, currently a housing association tenant after being royally screwed financially in an ongoing divorce (abusive relationship; he is in the family home mortgage free; any money I may have got from the settlement has been eaten by legal fees - divorce has been going on 4 years and counting).

I work full time and earn 41K. Ex pays nothing at all towards child. Every time I try to save, some horror happens e.g. washing machine breaks, child needs braces, or most recently my car tyre got slashed. I currently have 1k in long term savings and £120 in an ISA. Had to take out a debt repayment plan that ruined my credit rating when we left my ex; it's paid down now so credit score is poor and even if I make small steps to boosting it, the plan will stay on my record for 6 years.

I'm looking to make a career pivot that will open up higher earnings in the medium to long term, but I just can't see how I'll ever save a deposit or get offered a mortgage while funding my child and myself single-handed in this climate. I'm 40 so repayment terms are a worry - will I basically age out right as I manage to scrape together the deposit, if I even can?

Anyone been in a similar position or have any words of wisdom?

Nhs?

What year are you posting from?

It's not 2005 anymore, its almost impossible to get braces on the NHS for anything other than the absolute worst cases. And that's if you can even find an NHS dentist accepting new patients at all - there was literally not one in my whole county in a survey done a few years back.

NHS won't pay for braces in most cases anymore

I work in dentistry. That's not true. 72% of referrals are approved. If they aren't approved then they don't need braces.

Thanks again everyone. Lots of food for thought. I will definitely look into specialist brokers. My family have zero money to gift sadly, so it'd be down to me to save the deposit - I have some job interviews this week which could change things a bit (in a good way!) but whatever the outcome I'll look at a medium-term savings plan.

Without totally derailing the thread with divorce horror, or outing myself: I really did fight as long and hard as I could, with legal advice. He just has more money and has dragged it out for years, even when doing so has meant he's been made liable for court fees. Anything to avoid signing on the dotted line. It's a long and complex story, but the bottom line is that I got out; got my child out; started again and it was worth it. I just want the best for DC that I can give, hence thinking about buying.

Re: braces, I do very luckily have an NHS dentist. They referred DC for orthodontics as they said it was a very bad case. Orthodontist then said actually they'd class it as 'borderline' so I'd either need to pay or wait 2 years til it was really awful and would take lots more intervention to fix. Went back to the dentist to see if they'd refer me somewhere else and they said yes but the waiting list would be 18 months. I did beat myself up about whether or not to pay but ultimately felt it was in DC's beat interest.

The state of orthodontics in the UK seems to be dire. Kudos to you for making this sacrifice. I am sure your child will thank you in years to come.

I agree you need a career adjustment to earn more. Remember, as your dc gets older you will have more flexibility in working hours, and need less childcare.

You are 40 now, so you have 28 working years left, and your dcs will be independent long before then.

I'd focus on shifting your career upwards a little, and clearing any debt. You have a couple of years to do that.

£150k at today's prices is within your reach. You might be able to find a doer upper for less, which is a bit scruffy but in a safer area, on the ground or first floors. Then you can take your time renovating, but end up with a nice home.

And put in a CMS claim against your selfish ex.

Although you don’t want to get into the divorce stuff, and I do understand, I’ve been there, I think your financial situation is so inequitable that it is unavoidable.
As someone who was in a similar position to yours re divorcing a wealthy, abusive ex; I dug in and fought. My only regret is that I didn’t string it out for longer and get the whole house mortgage free.

You can get divorced before the finances are agreed. I wouldn’t always recommend this but in your case you’re the one who is skint, it’s his money at stake.
As you have DC I think you have one? The calculation should roughly be 1/3 of the house for you, H and DC.

In your shoes I would prioritise:
1 CMS. Do this tomorrow. H cannot have it all ways financially.
2 Divorce - you don’t need his consent.
3 Equitable division of assets - let him drag it through court if he wants to pay, you can wait it out, especially if it means you will get more than a years wages in one go.
4 When all of that is done you really do know what you’re looking at wrt housing/mortgages.

High Street mortgages go to age 75 (and rising) now. Or for up to 35 years.
I’m not suggesting you keep a mortgage until you are 75, but if you have it you can pay it down more quickly when your DC is old enough to leave home it will pass more quickly than you realise.

FWIW we own a home which is left to our DCs.
Although owning our home means we do get to choose where we live, it does not mean that our DCs will inherit much. It is very possible that we will need expensive nursing care in our final years which will eat any potential inheritance.

Does your H see your DC? As he was abusive I hope it’s supervised visitation only, if any at all?

I'd look into shared ownership properties if I were you. I bought one as it was overall cheaper/easier as a single person. The deposit was 5% of the 50% that I would be buying - which worked out at around 3k. Then legal fees, i got a fixed rate which was under 2k.
In time I bought the other 50%. Best financial decision I've made.
If nothing else, it's worth investigating what opportunities there are near you and the costs involved.