How much to save and spend

[MrsBelindaMay]

A long-time user, name changed.
I am very anxious about what the future holds: for me, for my children, for the country. My profession is fairly secure but pay is not huge. DH earns well but not massively (51K in SE). No idea how my two DC (19 and 22) will find their places in life, both bright kids but job market is dire and I just don't know whether they will ever earn enough to afford their own home.
So right now I am trying to balance saving for my own future, my retirement and hopefully having some spare money to help the kids with deposits.
We have low-ish outgoings so we are able to save about 2K a month. Which is absolutely fantastic of course. At the same time - the house needs work, and this was our starter home. There was a plan to move to a forever home soon. And I feel like I am saving for the future whereas maybe I should try to improve the lifestyle now? I am in my late 40s and I was hoping that by that age I would be comfortable enough to actually feel that I am comfortable. To live in a house that looks nice. To afford stuff like home furnishings. To feel confident to spend on home comforts. And I do have money for it. But instead, I prefer to save because I am just scared to spend because what if?
Does it make any sense?
Is there a balance I should aim for?

save as much as possible. I save all the child benefit for 2 kids and 100 a month. I get about 2k a month in minus the child benefit. I increase my monthly amount every 6 months by as much as I can stomach. I'm going to siphon some into JISAs and pay the council tax and utilities yearly to free up more monthly I come, which will go into savings. I feel like I'm creating money.

I also save first. it's a priority. if I eat beans on toast for a week I still save. this was a life changing hack.

I think it is really difficult. We have some home improvements that need doing which we have put off for years - likely to cost around 35k. The money is there, but spending it is hard because the future feels very uncertain, and it is reassuring to have it in savings.

I think I just have to tell myself that there is no point watching it lose value because of inflation - if I don’t spend it now the cost of the work will only increase!

You're able to save £2k a month but won't buy some curtains? Just buy a cushion if you want one. You are in a hugely privileged financial position.

@elviswhorleyhpe does paying council tax and utilities yearly save money? Does eating beans on toast everyday for a week no impact on your health? Surly doing it regularly would have long term health benefits. Surely lower life expectancy in poor areas is due to poor diet

I think it depends what level of home comforts you're talking about here. If you're saving two grand a month for some unspecified future event but living in genuine discomfort with broken furniture or peeling walls, then I'd say you've got the balance a bit wrong. Especially if you already have built up a bit of savings. I certainly wouldn't plough everything into deposits for DC before you've at least feathered the current nest a little bit. Saving 1 grand a month for the more distant events and putting 1 grand towards home improvements would be absolutely reasonable. Have you decided to stay in your 'starter home'? If so, even more reason to make it lovely.

Obviously if it's just a little dated and you just want it to look more Insta, that's not such a priority.

It’s quite hard to spend when you are a natural saver -

yes there should be a balance - we have a budget and can spend within it but the basic rules of think before we spend still apply and most things are bought as Christmas and birthday gifts.

yiu should enjoy life now as you don’t know what tomorrow will bring.

there is nothing wrong in staying in your starter home and making it your forever home - and it might be easier to get a few cushions once you have made that choice - and a lot cheaper than moving

I doubt you will turn yourself into someone who spends with abandon

I think it's a very fair question because you do have to strike some kind of balance between enjoying the present and planning for the future. I also tend towards worrying about the future and wanting to save excessively and can lead me down a path of miserable frugality if I'm not careful. It's not a hard and fast rule but the 50:30:20 model is helpful to guide your thinking, so roughly 50% of your income should be spent on needs i.e. housing, utilities, food, transport, 30% on wants and 20% on savings including pension.

I still tie myself in knots sometimes over when something exactly becomes a 'need' vs a 'want' in some of the ways you've mentioned because obviously essential home maintenance is a need and more frivolous things like plants and scented candles are wants, but where does say having the heating on a bit extra on very cold days to make it more comfortable (but not strictly essential come in), food is obviously a need but what about wine and treats? Are pet costs a want or a need. You do just have to do some personal adjustments rather than take it as a literal boundary.

I do also think that it's easy to get misled on MN in particular into thinking you absolutely must have a million pound pension fund plus a mortgage free house and loads of other investments otherwise you'll be poverty striken and living in a ditch on retirement, whereas that simply isn't the reality for the majority of people. So at least the rest of us will have plenty of company in the ditch 😂 But seriously, fundamentally if you are on track to have a pension fund that will deliver the minimum recommended here including state pension, any other benefits plus any equity you might be able to release by moving to a smaller retirement property and without significant debts, you'll be grand. Yes it would be nice to have a bit more to pass on to the next generation or to help them out but it would be insane to never ever live even a little bit to put a few more £ away for your children. Plenty of kids get no inheritance at all or maybe only a very small amount and they still make their way in the world just fine so please try not to drive yourself mad with worry...

I have enough cushions. But do you know how much proper curtains cost? That's the thing: everything that seems such a basic need is really expensive. We need new carpets and repaint the house as it has not been done for 8 years. But this will cost thousands. It's several months' worth of savings contributions. So yes, my position is privileged on paper but I am just not feeling it as I have no use of the money I earn, I save it for the future.

That's exactly how I feel.
I save into various investment accounts (with some put aside in Cash ISA for security) so hopefully they will beat inflation

Either you actually live in a mansion, or you are only considering curtains and carpets made of silk. There are plenty of decent options that aren't in that price bracket. You're just not in a woe is me situation.

I think you need to change your mindset from always saving for the future to actually using some of it to spend on things you need doing such as the carpets and painting. If you've got £2k of money for savings each month there's no reason why some of that can't go towards house renovations.

I am not in a woe is me situation.
Last time I checked, fitted lined curtains cost close to a £1000 for one big window. I do know that ones from Amazon are cheaper, I have them.
It cost us £600 to recarpet a small landing area with a really ordinary carpet.
Repainting - £1200 for one room.
That's no small money.

I definitely want to move. I have wanted to for a while but life got in the way. It's just not what I want for the rest of my life. I cannot imagine growing old here or bringing my grandchildren here. Well, I can but it makes me feel very miserable.

Makes no sense to be so afraid of the future that you don't live life to the full now. You'll wake up one day old and rich and wonder where the time went.

Is this a wind-up post? You’re saving £2k per month and feeling very anxious?
You have a home. Your job is safe and your joint income is probably twice the national average. Honestly…

You will be fine OP. I totally get the anxiety and I feel it too. However, you do need to find some middle ground, if a room needs repainting, you could just paint it? That's not going to cost £1200. Or the options for curtains aren't Amazon or fully fitted lined curtains. There are are options inbetween and we all have to make compromises.

In that case saving for the move is the best thing to do now - get a spreadsheet going - what do you need ?

I honestly wish I felt confident in these things. It is not just repainting, there is paper bulging in some places, and skirting boards and banisters are very old, and the ceilings need replacing. So it will all cost a lot.
And that's a thing: are these essentials? We can live like that and save instead, can't we? All actual repairs are done of course.
But making the house look nicer wouldn't even add value as it's a cosmetic change.
And I really can't make myself to spend even a few hundred on curtains because the ones I have are fine, they are just not "high quality".
You see what I mean?
When will I ever feel like ok, now I can afford to have good-quality things and not worry about it?

While you are saving to move of course you don’t have nice things - that’s life

what is your timescale for moving

I think IIWY I'd try to work out what would make me happiest, short and medium term. So if you have some savings, which I assume you do, then work out what would make the biggest impact to your life by spending some of it to improve your home or something else.

For example, we used to hate our front room. There was nothing really terrible about it but it wasn't a lovely room to be in. Instead of buying new sofas we recovered the old ones with completely different fabric, changed the lights and lampshades, got the carpets cleaned, painted the walls a different colour and bought new cushions. It completely transformed the room but didn't cost loads of money. And it made us happy!

We have a list of hundreds of things that need doing in our house and we just can't do all of them so we worked out the priorities and focussed on those.

It's all very well having savings but you need to have a life as well IMO!

And by the way I spent money on high quality curtains about 10 years ago and they still look amazing and are thick and warm and beautiful so they were worth it. They were about £5k - it's a large room - but have lasted very well.

@MrsBelindaMay I'm missing the point of the thread but I've never spent that much on curtains! Dunelm is my go to especially with their sales, I've never spent more than £100 on a pair and that would be extremely expensive for me!

I empathise with around making ends meet as well as saving for the future. But try to find some balance as otherwise you'll make yourself miserable.

Is there a reason why you cannot paint your own rooms? I’m retired now, but I have always painted our homes, that’s every room and halls. I still do it, I trained in fine art and can’t abide house painters who don’t reach my exacting standards.
Also, I frequently made my own curtains, just straight seams and a heading. I will admit to buying the blackout lining.

Pay for the things you can't do yourself that needs someone skilled, plastering, gas, electric work etc. things like painting, sanding down old skirting etc those are things that will take you longer to do, but can easily be done by yourself far cheaper
In regards to curtains being £1k, I think you could find much cheaper, still decent quality for less. Maybe try blinds2go if you want them made to measure