Inheritance anxeity

[Summersoul]

I recently inherited a large sum of money after the death of both parents. Since having this money it's caused me so much anxeity snd I'm constantly worried if I'm doing the right thing. So far I've treated my family to a lovely holiday paid off some big debts snd put some away for my teens to help them later on. I am so grateful to be able to do these things but just having the responsibility of this is causing way more anxiety thsn I ever imagined. Has anyone else gone through similar? How do you cope with thus? I find every time I spend and of it, I have to justify every penny, and to be honest would much rather have my parents instead

Thank you so much for your responses they have been mostly very supportive. Thank you

I think it only matters if they fritter it away, if it matters to them. I think when inheriting money, it's important to realise that you can't disappoint a dead person. The money has in most instances, been left without restrictions for what to do with it, and everyone has different priorities.
My sisters and I each inherited from my grandparents 20 years ago, and it was quite a chunk to receive in our teens. My middle sister did indeed 'fritter' it away, she spent money on travel and consumable purchases. My youngest sister used it as a deposit on a house. I still have mine, in my 30s, although I have dipped into it and replaced it over the years.
None of us did anything 'wrong' with the money, we've all benefitted from it, but in very different ways, and my grandparents are not here to tell us whether they approve or disapprove of our choices.

I recently got £100k life insurance payout (critical illness - I’m fine now)

I paid off most of the mortgage, got a new bathroom and woodburner and it’s now been spent.

the bathroom needed doing, the woodburner was a self indulgent treat and the rest on the mortgage.

it’s all been spent wisely and no guilt. We had a few treats but nothing major as I was certain that I didn’t want to fritter it away.

the heavy reduced mortgage allows us to save for things like holidays etc

For me it’s not about disappointing my loved one, I think it’s more doing something fun with the money that I got as a result of them
dying. Sometimes I think of my savings and feel happy and then feel guilty that I only have the money because they died. I was absolutely ok about helping my DC by giving them two thirds of the money but it’s the other third that has proved more tricky.
The inheritance was completely unexpected because my DF told me he did equity release on his property which he didn’t actually do and he also died suddenly.
When my DM dies (she has advanced Alzheimer’s) I will inherit again, I plan to help my DC but have no plans to spend it on myself.

Generally, starting your response with I mean no offence means that you are about to offend.
This is the MONEY MATTERS forum. OP has asked about money, on the correct forum. It's not a race to the bottom. For every person struggling tbere will be someone that isn't. Just because your circumstances or that of others are different dosen't mean you get to try and shut down the conversation.

just remember you don’t have to specially have to do anything with it. You can just invest it and treat yourself with the interest and thank you parents for that gift.

eventually one of your children might need it for a house deposit and then your parents will have given them a legacy to build on.

I’m soon to be in a similar situation and understand your feelings. Both my parents died within a year so it’s lots to deal with. I feel a huge responsibility to use it wisely. My DF was working until he was 80 and they started with nothing. We’ve already paid our mortgage so I’m planning to put what I can in ISAs then split over high interest accounts whilst I decide. I’m probably going to speak with a financial advisor too. Some will go to help with my DC when/if they need it. Possibly using a deed of variation (in the unlikely event we both die in 7 years I don’t want him to pay a penny more of IHT on this money.). We also need to do some home improvements to future proof it for our older age.

Depending on the amount maybe speak with a FA and just take your time to decide.

Bit of a curve ball, but it might be worth engaging with a few sessions of counselling, to explore/work through the anxiety? This might help in the longer term

I’m sorry for your loss ❤️