Both work and we claim UC but still can't afford to live.

[Mocha1]

We have 3 kids, 2 who aren't at school yet, my husband and I both work 30 hours a week for charities so not highly paid. We also have childcare for part of the week and then juggle the kids between us the rest of the time (We don't want to work more as we dont want the kids in fulltime childcare). We rent and down't own. We claim UC but we are still really struggling to make ends meet. We really try to live to a tight budget but I have no idea how to lower our expenses any more.

Am I missing something? Is this normal? does anyone have any tips for saving money/ making more income somehow? I feel a bit at a loss as we keep dipping into our savings for just day to day expenses and we're nearly at the end of those.

Our income at the moment (I'm on MAT leave) - £3980
Outgoings- £4250

Do these outgoings seem like a lot for a family of 5 living in the south west? I've been going over our budget and I have no idea how to save any more unless we literally never bought another birthday present or went to a soft play ever again.

It's all in the first post. You don't even need to RTFT.

It is possible for children to have a great childhood without going to soft play which is hideously expensive for three children not to mention a complete luxury!

And this is where it’s all gone completely Pete Tong because it’s only 21 years ago that we used to meet up in a soft play at least once probably twice a week have lunch there on a single income
Most children’s parties were there was, about 60 quid for a lot of of them

I agree. But you cut your cloth accordingly.

And yet 40 odd years ago, there was no such thing as “soft play” or if there was, I was never taken. I survived!

My sister and I were playing in the Street age five and three and she got sexually assaulted so she might not agree with that sentiment.

I am very sorry that happened to her. I was sexually assaulted at 6 in a school corridor. I do not think soft play or indeed school, are necessarily safer than anywhere else.

21 years ago and soft play was a once or twice a year not a week and never involved lunch

I think it’s far better than children playing out in the Street which is what Happened in the good old days so let’s put the rose tinted spectacles away.

Speak for yourself.
I was a stay at home Mum during that period and it absolutely was weekly.
We had passes for the zoo. We had passes for the cinema. We had passes for the planetarium and we had Merlin passes.
Life has gone downhill rapidly for parents.

Yes but just because you did it weekly doesn’t mean that people on low salaries working part time should be able to expect to be able to afford to do that

I have zero “ rose tinted spectacles” about my childhood, thank you. And no, playing in the street isn’t wasn’t happened. Not to me, anyway, We went to the local park, supervised. And free. The rest of the time, we entertained ourselves at home. Also free. And we survived.

At risk of sounding like a broken record…if parents want to use childcare they should fund it themselves. No one forces mothers to go back to work when their child is 9 months, that’s personal choice

Some parents do fund it themselves.

Going back to work pays the bills, of course it isn't always a choice.

Also at the risk of sounding like a broken record, there's a difference between ensuring women aren't trapped at home unable to work because childcare is too expensive for those on a lower income.

Nothing wrong with children playing out. In fact it should be encouraged providing they don’t live close to a main road or something. My sons would go off into the woods building dens, playing on Tarzan swings or riding their bikes. Teaches them to become streetwise. Children these days are too mollycoddled. And before anyone says anything I don’t think it’s anymore dangerous now, it’s just with social media it’s reported more.

Yes that’s correct. Its reported more on social media. Previously the children used to just get sexually assaulted and nobody knew about it. Didn’t mean that it didn’t happen.
It still happens regularly with or without soft play,

However, not having soft play in my experience fostered less involve parents who just booted their kids out into the woods to go and play and make dens.

I can assure you my sons weren’t booted out, I knew exactly where they were. My house backed on to the woods. As a STAM I was a more involved parent than one who works 40 hours a week. They also played rugby since aged 8/9 and if I was working it would have been impossible to take them to training given it started at 5.30.

Utterly ridiculous to suggest that soft play is needed because otherwise they’ll be sexually assaulted. I played out as a kid, everyone did, no-one was assaulted…

However, not having soft play in my experience fostered less involve parents who just booted their kids out into the woods to go and play and make dens.

Goid lord what an odd view! I spent my childhood from the age of about 7 out in the woods making camos and dens and exploring. Blissful. We pretended we were explorers or Robin Hood or whatever. Very rich and imaginative play.

Children need to play away from adults once they are an appropriate age.

Exactly

Really? For you maybe. It was very much weekly for my DC pre that and lunch was always involved. A bit daft to generalise.

That's it. I budgeted weekly soft play and cafe foods money. Once it was gone, we were in the play ground

ThisOldThang You sound like a school bully.
The tone of this message is supercilious and entirely out of step with what the poster requested.
If nothing constructive to add to a message that many people across the country will be wrestling with, maybe it would be best to say nothing at all? Or maybe being mean, sarcastic and condescending makes you walk a little bit taller. Pathetic.
Depressing how utterly duped we’ve all become. Not so long ago average parents - my own included - could afford one stay at home parent and one ‘normal’ wage coming in. (A factory worker in this case) and pay a mortgage, raise children etc etc.
Talking of children as ‘luxuries’ is grotesque.

How do you know ? Are you all still in touch ?