Can only marred couples answer please.

[Richesme]

After my last posts about my husband wanting to go halves in paying bills rent etc when I start working full time, I’ve sat down with him and even though we had a disagreement about going halves, he eventually said, you can keep all your money to yourself and do your own spendings or savings from there.

He doesn’t believe that couples either put all their money in one pot or go halves in proportionate to their wages. His works in the bank therefore tells me that he has many customers come in to open joint accounts and they go halves.

I want to find out as married couples, how do you guys manage your money, bills, rent, mortgage, spendings, savings and investments?

I'm definitely marred 🤣

For the 20 years of my marriage, we put everything we earned into a joint pot.

From there, I managed the money for us both, then as our family grew.

I earn more therefore I pay for more with the household bills. We each pay for our own phone, car insurance and tax then everything else I pay a bigger proportion of (I earn about double what he does). He usually pays for the fun stuff like food out, cinema etc as he likes to treat me like its a date.
We made my account a joint account when we got married but his bank were a pain about it so we didn't bother and I have the physical card and he uses it via Apple Pay so we both have full access to both accounts. I never thought about it being 50 50 because that wouldn't be fair

The OP clearly asked for only married couples to respond. There was no basis for your assumption I wasn't married.

I was countering your assertion that anything other than a "family pot" especially if one has children is "ludicrous". It's not remotely "ludicrous" for us. I couldn't bear the idea of not having my own bank account.

How is he able to put that much into a pension in your name. There are strict rules limiting the amount that can be paid in.

A husband here . Seperate accounts wife was never bothered. I earn around 6x what my wife earns. I pay everything bills etc . Wife's wage is for herself and pets lol. Kids older now but her money used to be more so was for her and kids . Obviously I pay for holiday's etc over the years. We have savings that although it's from my income I class it as ours as a family. Yes we keep things separate but kind of only on paper I agree it's all ours. Either way. We are a family etc . Cheers

I have my own bank account, as does my husband, we both work full time, and keep our salaries in our own accounts.

The only joint financial product is our mortgage.

We have split the bills between us so that they debit from our accounts equally.

We have our own savings accounts.

If we book a holiday we just transfer half of the money from one account to whoever has booked it! The same for large household purchases.

We never argue over money, and after almost 20 years of marriage we have enough privacy to be able to buy each other presents and treats without a bank statement ruining it!

Amy friends with joint accounts argue much more over money!

My dh earns roughly 4X what I earn. All of his wages go into our joint account, everything is paid for from there. It’s joint money, we can both spend what we like but would discuss any big purchases. My wages go into my account and we save them and use them for holidays. Our parents both completely shared all finances so this is very normal for us. We’re mid to late forties with two late teen DD’s.

We have our own accounts and a joint account that all of the bills come out of.
We both transfer the same amount into the joint account every month to cover mortgage and bills.
I don't even know how much my husband earns!

Well atm husband pays for everything as I've been made redundant and struggling to get a new job. Any personal spends I use there ever draining money in my own account.

But previously, it was sort of proportional. We never worked it out equally as I was working part time but doing bulk of childcare. We would each transfer x amount into joint account (him more than me) where all bills come out. Any leftover would go savings and we would each retain a small amount for personal spends

Honestly, I learned from my mum and dad to not get caught up in the minutiae of money (because at one point they did and it wrecked them for a while). As long as a higher earner isn't hoarding wealth while their spouse / children go without, I don't see the need to break everything down to the penny. We're a team.

BUT every relationship is different. You need to work together to discuss what will work for you!

Husband and I put it all in 1 pot. We sit down each mother to go over finances. We also do have separate savings and other accounts but we discuss everything. I am terrible about finance and we knew that going in so over the years he has taught me and I have learned . We've been together since 1994 and we married in 98 and have 3 kids. As a couple it seems ridiculous to me to say we're going halves because it never will be equal. One person will always make more or someone has a setback like in 08. So putting it all together and than sitting down and doing it to where it needs to go seemed like the most fair thing, to us.

All in one pot, everything is shared. Always thought that's how it should be in a marriage but appreciate everyone does things differently.

Oh, I am really bored now. I spoke of why I made that assumption, ie you deliberately avoided the word married. Did you miss that?

I set out why it was ludicrous. Ie that it puts the lower earner, invariably the woman, at huge risk of financial disadvantage, especially in a break-up. One reads stories on here and elsewhere every single day of women suffering terribly when financial abuse or imbalance occurs. You were/are in a tiny minority of mothers with your own very substantial resources and so you are NOT at risk of that. The OP potentially is. For those of us with a disabled child - constant appointments, difficult to get suitable childcare- you should know that the family's earning potential is hit for six. My career went out of the window for 16 years. If we'd had separate finances, I would have been completely broke.

As for hating not to have your own account, there are those of us who never gave that a second thought. Because we didn't need it and it wasn't relevant. We had everything we needed and always would. Didn't even need talking about.

Try to read and understand fully a post before challenging it, maybe?

Turning off notifications now

We have a joint account for shared bills and pay in a proportional amount per our wages. DH earns more so contributes more. Our 'leftovers' remain in our individual accounts to use however wish

Wages into one joint account. All family/household expenses out of this, including cars, mobile phones, family holidays, anything for children. If anything left that is into joint savings.

We both then take a monthly allowance (same amount each), which is for clothes, hair cuts, personal hobbies and things we buy for ourselves.

We worked out what we need for our regular spending and put that into a joint account on a proportional basis (though we earn similar amounts anyway at the moment), plus a bit we can save. What's left we have each for fun spending, or whatever, though quite a lot of that gets spent on family stuff too. I can't imagine being married and not having a joint account. It really makes everything much simpler.

So we both have our own bank accounts, but we have overall joint savings pots that we use for holidays, Christmas or anything we may need.

He earns 4 times my wage, so we pay different bills to reflect this.

He pays the mortgage, council tax, gas, electric bills etc.

I pay things like food shopping, Netflix, our daughters club, car insurance etc.

He transfers me money weekly to cover anyrhing extra that I want/need.

So I guess even though we never got around to actually merging any accounts, we pay things dependant on our earnings.

Everything into a joint current account. Also a jount savings account. Plus an ISA each for tax purposes, same in both.

We have been together 28 years. Swings and roundabouts who is / isn't earning etc, so realised veey quickly not to think about 'mine' and 'yours'.

It's all our money, one joint account for all the serious stuff and individual accounts to do as we please.

Careful saying "together" or you'll have Muddlingalongsomehow, who didn't read the opening question correctly, questioning whether you're married.

Separate accounts for own wages and proportionate amount to income goes into joint for things like holidays, food shops, bills kids stuff etc. I pay for stuff for myself like clothes and out with friends from my own account.

Lol. Married.

We have wages into our own accounts and do our own savings. We both pay different bills which even out mostly but he pays a little more than me as he earns more. He is a much better saver so anything unexpected he can normally cover- my ADHD is a bit of an impulsive spender 😅

Bills come out my account, he pays in his share, but we have our own accounts. He earns more than me so he gives me extra.

his share of the bills is more than we need, I don’t tell him that, I put it in savings but I don’t tell him cause he is not as aggressive as me saving. 😂

All goes in one pot. We work out how it's spent together.

I spoke of why I made that assumption, ie you deliberately avoided the word married. Did you miss that?

You didn't read the very clear request in the opening post that only married posters respond. There was no need to say "married" You made a silly, unjustified assumption and won't admit it was a silly assumption.