Do you and your husband/wife have seperate finances?

[fabeo]

My husband and I share all our money, we have two children and have been together for 10 years. We both feel this works for us, but I’m curious as to what other families do.

We have mostly shared finances but with separate personal spending money.

Things we do with each other or for the kids all comes out of the joint account - so the personal spends aren't a lot but we like having some money that is just ours to fritter.

We make very different choices with it and I think we would argue if it was all joint.

I think it helps overall that we earn about the same

Me too.

OH is utterly useless with money. In his sixties and has basically nothing to show financially for a working lifetime.

I was about to ask this question.

Married, separate finances here too, 2 teens. We have a joint account for monthly expenses, we contribute to things depending on salaries. We do know each other finances though (not every penny we spend) but what each have on savings and pensions, etc and discuss things together.

Separate finances and we each have around half the bills coming out of our individual accounts. I have a full time job, his is complicated (periods of no work, periods of months away due to the nature of his work). Our wages are mostly even but mine is regular and his is not and I couldn’t live like it. I’m really organised when it comes to finances, he’s more laid back. I’m scared of debt, he’s not (although he doesn’t have any but wouldn’t worry if he did). Xh was financially abusive and I like to have control over my income.

We both save and both contribute to bigger things like holidays and Christmas.

It’s worked for the past 14 years. Lots of conversations and reviewing our situation.

I know it’s silly - we had a kid in 2021 and another in 2023 so it’s just a case of not getting round to it. In terms of our finances he’s contributed about 300k to a property that’s solely in my name. He’s actually not working at the moment (looking after the kids and doing a renovation) but on the other hand he chucked about 500k into his pension in a few years while I paid for most stuff (you see what I mean about chaos!) so it might shake out about ‘even’ if it got nasty just based on who technically owns what. Anyway, you’re right, see should just get married. I think we should go down the registry office but he wants a bit of a ‘do’ but is obviously not organising one, so here we are!

We’re probably a total anomaly. It’s not something we’re focused on day to day or even year to year. I think it’s probably pretty even but it could be wildly off but it’s not something I’d dwell on.

we’re not married. I earn well annd he earns between 1.5 - 2x what I earn over the last few years. Mostly mortgage free but when we had a mortgage he paid it. He buys big holidays like AI and skiing and some eating out and online grocery’s. I buy top shops, kids activities / clothing / presents, any house improvements, DIY, furniture, maintenance is mostly me, some family activities and eating out. Bills some are in my name and some in partners.

no joint savings although I think I mostly know what money he has and where. And likewise him with my money. He also does investments in the kids names.

it’s all very casual and I’d never want to be petty and work out whether it’s ‘fair’…. Because if you get to that point in a relationship I think you’re on a road to separation that you can’t come back from.

but it only works because we each have income above the bare minimum that we can live on happily. Plus he spends mire on stuff, his sport hobbies, clothes in line with his salary, etc. where as I happily buy what few clothes I get for me off vinted and get 1 haircut a year etc.

Completely separate accounts, but joint finances and a completely open and shared approach to it.

Married ten years, two DC aged 8 and 5. I am a SAHD, get the child benefit but no other regular income. Regular utilities and bills all come from my wife's account, but things like stuff for the kids, groceries, car expenses, etc go on my credit card and my wife transfers enough across every month to pay it off. I don't receive any allowance purely for myself but I am allowed to add beer and wine to the Lidl shop.

However, almost all of our capital is nominally mine. What I have done is utilise my wife's and the DCs ISA and SIPP allowances as well as my own so there are considerable sums in their sole names and quite a bit more to come (thanks to several bereavements in quick succession) which will also be spread around. I manage all the investments, and the income is all reinvested. When the DC turn 18 the ISA contents will be theirs to do with as they please, and so will their SIPPs although I'll offer to continue managing their investments. My wife can do whatever she wants with the assets in her accounts if she wanted to, but in reality we view her investments and mine as joint, and we're reinvesting all the income. Big purchases like new cars or home improvements are paid for from capital, as are the substantial costs I personally incur winding up some of the estates.

Married 10 years, 3 DC. Totally shared finances. Some accounts are joint and some are individual but everything is ‘ours’ and we don't worry or argue about money.

Married 15 years, 1 dc. Always had separate finances. It works for us but I know it’s not the best way for all couples.

We both earn very similar amounts. we no longer have a mortgage. We split bills pretty equally- he pays gas/ electric and I pay council tax/ internet and insurances. We split food shopping-one week him, one week me.

dc costs/ holidays we just spilt as and when they come up.

we like spending our own money on whatever we want. I like to treat my extended family to meals out/ treats which he probably would turn his nose up if it came out of joint account.

we both have savings, pay a lot into pensions / ISA’s and save equally for dc.

Joint account where everything goes in and out, there is no 'his and hers'. Savings etc are arranged in the most tax efficient way.

We do. We pay a proportion of the bills (in line with the proportion of our wages) into a joint bills account and then the rest just works itself out along the way. Neither of us leaves the other without though, even just for fun stuff. We just have different spending styles - he's more likely to treat me to something I really want-but-don't-quite-need just after payday because he knows I won't do it myself, I'm more likely to be the one who will treat us to a fancy date night or a big shop at the posh supermarket at the end of the month because I'm less of a spender.

All in one pot, and we share savings in the most tax efficient way too. DH and I will gift each other savings depending on who has the most at any one time, thereby spreading the money around. We also have just the one credit card, so get a lot of benefits from all spending going on the one.

We are semi-separate finances. We have a joint account for all day to day household expenses and kid expenses and for our main family holiday. We each pay in a set amount proportionate to our earnings. Remaining income is for the individual to save/spend as they please. This is a good system for us as I'm sensible with money and save a lot and he's a fritterer.

Arguably the one thing that might not be seen as "fair" is that the higher earner ends up with more surplus funds. When I earned a lot less this was what H insisted was fair. I later overtook him in my career progress and earn a lot more despite 2 mat leaves. He sometimes moans about me having so much more than him but I remind him that this system was what he chosestrangely when that worked in his favour. Plus, I don't have a heart of stone and pay for any household renovations, a couple of extra short holidays a year and I'm also aiming to save enough to pay off eldest's student loan. Those are all things we collectively benefit from and me looking after the money means it's there when needed, not frittered away.

We both work full time in professional jobs if that's relevant.

Married, two children.

Finances separate but we share expenditure on the house and kids ... basically I earn 60% of the household money, so we keep tabs in a spreadsheet of how much we each pay on household and kids things and at the end of month one of us settles up with the other so that the total for the month ends up with me paying 60% of the costs and her 40%.

In addition to that we have a savings account that gradually builds up money for holidays etc. I also pay a bit into that each month (which broadly cancels out the fact that otherwise as well as paying 60% of the bills I'd end up with a rather generous 60% of the leftover too!)

Everything is shared with dh and I .- we have similar values My parents had separate finances and it was a constant source of tension. Years of listening to my mother complaining bitterly about what she had to pay. My dad was a little wreakless with spending partly due to his work - he’d get paid irregularly, but also just suiting himself. They were a bit of a nightmare couple!

This is how our finances work. Set amount into the joint account to cover shared costs then the rest in our own accounts. He has an expensive hobby and I’m probably more of a saver, although I do buy clothes and spend on nails/botox more regularly I suppose but we can do what we please. It helps that we earn similar amounts though and do have a similar attitude to money.

We are married with 2 teenagers. I also have adult daughter. We still have our own account and none are in joint name. He is higher earner but we both work. We don’t spend much other than essentials particularly DH. However I have full control of everything and regularly switch money around and open/close new accounts to max interest and min tax. We have full trust in each other and have the same goals so it just works.

Been married over 20 years, one bank account, one saving account. Equal access to money, we discuss big items/spending but are lucky that we can pretty much buy what we like now. For many years though we had very little money and communication is key.

I always feel sad going out with married friends abc they talk about who round it is between them and the wife getting in an e tea round as her drinks are more expensive than his or passing each other the £10 they owe the other.

We have a joint savings account but all the bills come from my account and he transfers me his share on payday
I set up a joint savings account a few years ago for 'fun' money if we out of dinner etc and has a little extra for house pot going in there too.
Also have a holiday pot in my higher interest savings account

So very separate money - no idea what he earns or his commission (sales job) hes very vague

I have a 13yo from a previous relationship although our bills are split 50/50 I put exta into our food budget to allow for my son and for trips out etc

When we met he was borrowing money off his mum each month to make it through so I'm defo better at managing money than he is and have a complicated spreadsheet

I spent more than him socialising and clothes nails etc where as his expenses are lego and the things he collects.

DH and I have our own personal bank accounts that our salary goes into. Then we both pay an equal amount into joint account to cover all bills and food and anything for DC. We each keep our own spending money in our own accounts. If I want to treat my sister or niece I don't want to check with DH first. Also I don't want him to know how much I spend on gifts for him. We both earn about the same salary so it works for us. Personal spends include mobile SIM, lunches out with friends or my sister, coffees, haircut, clothes for me, shoes and gifts for DH. We pay half each for our holidays too.

We have always shared everything. OH earned a lot more than me but I did the bulk of household admin and childcare as well as housework. I also have no pension. If we had had separate finances I’m not sure how we would have made things work.

When I was married before, shared completely no issues. Now remarried and we have separate finances but only because no need to combine, house payment d off, he pays bills, everything I earn I save or spend, a privileged position

34 years together. Separate finances.

Both pay into one pot for mortgage, bills and food shopping.

But then we have separate bank accounts where our wages go in.

I think we might be unusual in that we have no joint accounts but view everything in our personal accounts or savings as family money. So regularly discuss what is required where and transfer between us to make it work.

Separate finances. Very much a team. No issues. 33 years together, 22 married.