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Original poster

Tiny savings in my name/ getting a divorce.

63 replies

withlotsoflove · 28/08/2025 07:17

Hi there,
just wondering & will make proper investigations too… but l am planning to leave and divorce my husband soon. Husband is aware.

l have a few thousand in savings ( £5,000) to help me set up again. They are just in my name, l started saving from my wages. Do l have to give him half when we divorce?
Thank you.

OP posts:
Mrsttcno1 · 28/08/2025 07:21

They will form part of the pot yes, whether you have to give him any depends on everything else

LegoMaxifigure · 28/08/2025 07:21

Yes in a way, but he has to give you half his savings too! How much does he have, including pension?

I think you are worried about liquidity though? In which case I would try and get everything sorted before you go. E.g. put a deposit down on a flat, buy furniture in advance if you need to.

If he has lots more money that you don't have access to, and you have very little, I would get a (very very trusted) friend to receive your 5k as a gift and then gift it back to you later. If you are both very short of money and he has no savings either, that is probably a less fair thing to do.

Meadowfinch · 28/08/2025 07:24

Yes, normally everything including pensions, property, savings etc will be shared between you.

How long have you been married? Do you have dcs? Do you own a house?

GameWheelsAlarm · 28/08/2025 07:37

It doesn't matter whose name an asset is in. All assets will get split fairly. This isn't always 50:50 but that's usually the starting point unless there's a good reason. Which member of a couple did the work to earn the money in question is not relevant and is not any kind of reason for anything to be held back. Nothing that is in his name can be held back either.

The kind of circumstances under which you could theoretically be awarded greater than 50% of the assets could be if he is the beneficiary of a family trust which has been paying for your expenses as a couple during the marriage and which now will continue to support him but won't support you, and if that means that there are zero assets in his name and nothing from him for the "pot" of assets but nevertheless he will be wealthy and comfortable whereas your small savings are all you have recourse to.

What are the other assets in fact?

AntikytheraMech · 28/08/2025 07:38

LegoMaxifigure · 28/08/2025 07:21

Yes in a way, but he has to give you half his savings too! How much does he have, including pension?

I think you are worried about liquidity though? In which case I would try and get everything sorted before you go. E.g. put a deposit down on a flat, buy furniture in advance if you need to.

If he has lots more money that you don't have access to, and you have very little, I would get a (very very trusted) friend to receive your 5k as a gift and then gift it back to you later. If you are both very short of money and he has no savings either, that is probably a less fair thing to do.

As part of the form e financial declaration bank statements should be provided for a certain time period to make sure there is no underhanded deprivation of assets.
Starting point is 50/50 of the whole combined value including savings, pension, property equity, and things like vehicles or expensive possessions.

Original poster
withlotsoflove · 28/08/2025 08:53

LegoMaxifigure · 28/08/2025 07:21

Yes in a way, but he has to give you half his savings too! How much does he have, including pension?

I think you are worried about liquidity though? In which case I would try and get everything sorted before you go. E.g. put a deposit down on a flat, buy furniture in advance if you need to.

If he has lots more money that you don't have access to, and you have very little, I would get a (very very trusted) friend to receive your 5k as a gift and then gift it back to you later. If you are both very short of money and he has no savings either, that is probably a less fair thing to do.

We are both low earners & he is without any savings at all. At 66 he is still working & claiming a small UK state pension as he hasn’t been in the UK all his life. Eventually he will be a beneficiary in his parents sale of their house when they pass.
Thank you for your help.

OP posts:
Original poster
withlotsoflove · 28/08/2025 08:54

AntikytheraMech · 28/08/2025 07:38

As part of the form e financial declaration bank statements should be provided for a certain time period to make sure there is no underhanded deprivation of assets.
Starting point is 50/50 of the whole combined value including savings, pension, property equity, and things like vehicles or expensive possessions.

Show quote history

Thank you ☺️

OP posts:
teenmaw · 28/08/2025 08:56

Do you have a child you could trust with it? “Gift” it to them and get it back once it’s all done and use it for what you saved it for, to help you start again. I’m sure people will say that’s unfair etc but no doubt he’ll have something stashed away for a rainy day. And you clearly saved it for a reason.

Original poster
withlotsoflove · 28/08/2025 08:57

GameWheelsAlarm · 28/08/2025 07:37

It doesn't matter whose name an asset is in. All assets will get split fairly. This isn't always 50:50 but that's usually the starting point unless there's a good reason. Which member of a couple did the work to earn the money in question is not relevant and is not any kind of reason for anything to be held back. Nothing that is in his name can be held back either.

The kind of circumstances under which you could theoretically be awarded greater than 50% of the assets could be if he is the beneficiary of a family trust which has been paying for your expenses as a couple during the marriage and which now will continue to support him but won't support you, and if that means that there are zero assets in his name and nothing from him for the "pot" of assets but nevertheless he will be wealthy and comfortable whereas your small savings are all you have recourse to.

What are the other assets in fact?

Edited

There is no property and no assets. We’ve lived day to day on 2 low wages for a long time. Half of the reason l wanted to start again and do better. I’m 13 years younger ( he is 66) thank you.
l know that he won’t come after me for money ( in the future when l inherit) & l won’t do that with him either. I’d like him to be comfortable and l am not interested making a claim.
thank you for your help.

OP posts:
Loveduppenguin · 28/08/2025 08:57

It doesn’t matter that he’s going to inherit it from his parents. It’s not a guarantee and it doesn’t exist right now so that cannot be counted. You will have to declare everything you have in all your bank accounts as willl he. Most of the time marital assets get split 50-50, but there can be times where it’s 60/40 70/30 etc. You will need to get yourself a good Solicitor. So that would probably eat up the 5K anyway.

Original poster
withlotsoflove · 28/08/2025 08:59

teenmaw · 28/08/2025 08:56

Do you have a child you could trust with it? “Gift” it to them and get it back once it’s all done and use it for what you saved it for, to help you start again. I’m sure people will say that’s unfair etc but no doubt he’ll have something stashed away for a rainy day. And you clearly saved it for a reason.

I do, l also have a sister. I’m wondering if that would be traced & then it might look bad? Like l have given away money to stop him from getting any? Thank you.

OP posts:
Original poster
withlotsoflove · 28/08/2025 09:01

Loveduppenguin · 28/08/2025 08:57

It doesn’t matter that he’s going to inherit it from his parents. It’s not a guarantee and it doesn’t exist right now so that cannot be counted. You will have to declare everything you have in all your bank accounts as willl he. Most of the time marital assets get split 50-50, but there can be times where it’s 60/40 70/30 etc. You will need to get yourself a good Solicitor. So that would probably eat up the 5K anyway.

Oh ok, l see.Thank you . He isn’t remotely interested in perusing a divorce & l was planning to just do it on line through the government website. That’s inexpensive. It’d be down to me to get the ball rolling. If you see what l mean.

OP posts:
Original poster
withlotsoflove · 28/08/2025 09:02

AntikytheraMech · 28/08/2025 07:38

As part of the form e financial declaration bank statements should be provided for a certain time period to make sure there is no underhanded deprivation of assets.
Starting point is 50/50 of the whole combined value including savings, pension, property equity, and things like vehicles or expensive possessions.

Show quote history

Thank you. I understand.

OP posts:
Loveduppenguin · 28/08/2025 09:03

withlotsoflove · 28/08/2025 09:01

Oh ok, l see.Thank you . He isn’t remotely interested in perusing a divorce & l was planning to just do it on line through the government website. That’s inexpensive. It’d be down to me to get the ball rolling. If you see what l mean.

Show quote history

You will still need him to fill in affidavits etc things like that. Who is going to push him to do those things, how are you going to get him to do those things if he doesn’t want to divorce?

Original poster
withlotsoflove · 28/08/2025 09:04

LegoMaxifigure · 28/08/2025 07:21

Yes in a way, but he has to give you half his savings too! How much does he have, including pension?

I think you are worried about liquidity though? In which case I would try and get everything sorted before you go. E.g. put a deposit down on a flat, buy furniture in advance if you need to.

If he has lots more money that you don't have access to, and you have very little, I would get a (very very trusted) friend to receive your 5k as a gift and then gift it back to you later. If you are both very short of money and he has no savings either, that is probably a less fair thing to do.

If l do this, won’t it seem like l have deprived him of it? Regardless if l am using it to start over? Thank you

OP posts:
TallulahBetty · 28/08/2025 09:05

The divorce itself may be inexpensive. However, without paying a solicitor to draft a consent order, either one of your could technically come after the other's assets/savings/pensions, any time after the fact. Unlikely, but possible. Paying a solicitor to get the consent order is worth its weight in gold.

Original poster
withlotsoflove · 28/08/2025 09:05

Meadowfinch · 28/08/2025 07:24

Yes, normally everything including pensions, property, savings etc will be shared between you.

How long have you been married? Do you have dcs? Do you own a house?

We don’t own a home. We just have the prospect of our state pensions and the government one that our jobs pay towards. So, not much unfortunately/ fortunately. Thank you

OP posts:
Original poster
withlotsoflove · 28/08/2025 09:07

TallulahBetty · 28/08/2025 09:05

The divorce itself may be inexpensive. However, without paying a solicitor to draft a consent order, either one of your could technically come after the other's assets/savings/pensions, any time after the fact. Unlikely, but possible. Paying a solicitor to get the consent order is worth its weight in gold.

Yes, l’ve read about this - thank you. It’s risky - but we’ve been married 30 years & knowing him- it’d be too much hassle to try to get anything from me. I also wouldn’t do it do him either. I totally see the legal vulnerability of this tho. Thank you for your help.

OP posts:
Original poster
withlotsoflove · 28/08/2025 09:08

TallulahBetty · 28/08/2025 09:05

The divorce itself may be inexpensive. However, without paying a solicitor to draft a consent order, either one of your could technically come after the other's assets/savings/pensions, any time after the fact. Unlikely, but possible. Paying a solicitor to get the consent order is worth its weight in gold.

I mean for him to come back at a later date - he is too lazy in that department!

OP posts:
Original poster
withlotsoflove · 28/08/2025 09:10

Loveduppenguin · 28/08/2025 09:03

You will still need him to fill in affidavits etc things like that. Who is going to push him to do those things, how are you going to get him to do those things if he doesn’t want to divorce?

Show quote history

I don’t think he doesn’t want to as such- more that he can’t be bothered. He told me , if you want one - you’ll have to pay. Which triggered the savings in the first place. I started doing overtime at work for my freedom really.

OP posts:
Original poster
withlotsoflove · 28/08/2025 09:12

Meadowfinch · 28/08/2025 07:24

Yes, normally everything including pensions, property, savings etc will be shared between you.

How long have you been married? Do you have dcs? Do you own a house?

30 years. One dependent at nearly 17 & the other 2 are adults. No home ownership.

OP posts:
Loveduppenguin · 28/08/2025 09:13

withlotsoflove · 28/08/2025 09:07

Yes, l’ve read about this - thank you. It’s risky - but we’ve been married 30 years & knowing him- it’d be too much hassle to try to get anything from me. I also wouldn’t do it do him either. I totally see the legal vulnerability of this tho. Thank you for your help.

Show quote history

I will absolutely 100% stand by this and let you know to never underestimate what a man will do when he thinks you are leaving him and that his money(whatever that may be) is at risk, take it from me I know from experience! You don’t know what someone is capable of until you are going through this. Think of it this way you want to protect your money right now, why would he not feel the same?

Original poster
withlotsoflove · 28/08/2025 09:15

Loveduppenguin · 28/08/2025 09:13

I will absolutely 100% stand by this and let you know to never underestimate what a man will do when he thinks you are leaving him and that his money(whatever that may be) is at risk, take it from me I know from experience! You don’t know what someone is capable of until you are going through this. Think of it this way you want to protect your money right now, why would he not feel the same?

Show quote history

You’re right. I think this is going to be way more tricky than l had anticipated, especially as l can’t get that much money for the extras. Thank you so much for your advice.

OP posts:
Mrsttcno1 · 28/08/2025 09:24

withlotsoflove · 28/08/2025 09:04

If l do this, won’t it seem like l have deprived him of it? Regardless if l am using it to start over? Thank you

Show quote history

Yes, you cannot do that. It will all be found out when you have to do financial declarations- you cannot hide money.

LittleGreenDragons · 28/08/2025 09:26

Short answer is yes it is technically half his.

Longer answer is you can use it to pay for the divorce or set up a new home (rent deposit, buying beds, white goods etc) without it being deprivation of assets. You saved it up so you could leave - what were you planning on spending it on so you could?

I am in the same position but I did the online divorce by myself (still costs £600) but I'm having to pay a solicitor to do the financial paperwork for the court. If it's straightforward and amicable you are still looking at £2 to £3k for that alone. Judges have refused to look at DIY paperwork unless it's written in "solicitor/legal" speak - can you do that? Download Form E from gov.uk and start filling it in, same for him. Then contact a solicitor to draft the consent form.