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Contractor demands urgent unfair payment — still has a key. How to safely buy time before saying no?

82 replies

Sandra1523 · 16/06/2025 11:28

A very good friend of mine, whom I’ll call Anna, hired a guy I’ll call Denis (a neighbor of her parents) to renovate an apartment she owns and intends to lease. There was no written contract — just a verbal agreement based on trust, since they’d known each other for years. The deal was that the renovation would be done in stages, and she’d pay him after each stage was completed. Everything went fine at first: Denis finished three stages and was paid in full for each. But on the final stage (mainly involving the bathroom — plumbing, fixtures, tiles, etc.), he only completed about 90% of the work. Then he told Anna he might not be able to come back to finish it, as he had to start another project.

Anna paid him 60% of the money for that final stage and told him she’d pay the remaining 40% only if and when he finished the job. Then Denis ghosted her completely — no replies, no explanations — for two whole months. Now, out of the blue, he’s messaged her via WhatsApp, said he won’t be coming back to finish anything, but demands she urgently pay him another 30% (so that he gets 90% of the money for 90% of the work). Anna doesn’t agree with this and believes it’s only fair to deduct certain expenses and losses she incurred due to Denis withdrawing from the project. These deductions amount to about two-thirds of what Denis is asking for. She’s planning to write Denis a calm, respectful message explaining her position and offering one-third of what he’s asking for.

But here’s the twist: Denis still has a key to the apartment. And based on his earlier behavior — disappearing for two months, reappearing with this demand, and seeming emotionally unstable — Anna’s worried he might react badly to her message and raid the apartment to cause damage in retaliation, or take something as “collateral” to pressure her into paying in full. So she needs to change the lock before telling Denis she isn’t going to pay what he’s asking for. But she’s totally swamped with urgent work and family obligations and says she realistically can’t manage to replace the lock for three days from the day Denis sent his message.

So Anna wants to send a short, vague message now to acknowledge receipt of his demand and buy time to replace the lock, and she’s asked me to help her word the message. I can't refuse, because she has done a lot for me in the past.

Question: What’s the safest way to word such a message — one that doesn’t promise to pay, but also doesn’t make Denis think she’s stalling or planning to refuse to pay? Denis is unpredictable, so the message has to be as low-risk as possible. Or is it better to stay completely silent until the lock is changed?

Anna’s goal is to minimize the risk of Denis raiding the apartment before she changes the lock — and also to minimize the risk of retaliation afterward, including the possibility of physical assault. Unfortunately, in Russia, where Anna and Denis live, physical violence that leaves no lasting injuries usually isn’t prosecuted as a criminal offense. Denis has no legal way to recover the money he’s demanding, especially as there’s no contract and no written evidence — so Anna’s only concern is the potential for personal or property-related harm.

I’ve tried to persuade her that she absolutely must change the lock immediately rather than three days later, but unfortunately, she’s prioritizing work and family commitments. To help Anna, I’d much rather replace the lock myself than write a time-buying message, but I currently live outside Russia.

OP posts:
greencartbluecart · 16/06/2025 13:44

friendlycat · 16/06/2025 13:41

I would just pay him.
And move on.

Yip it’s the best move all round

Hiddenmnetter · 16/06/2025 13:46

Look, you’re in Moscow.

Tell me- what happens to Dennis if he gets upset and comes around and beats and rapes Anna? Do the police give a shit? Does anyone take her plight seriously? Look at how the shock troops in Russia behaved during the Ukraine invasion. Look at how the Red Army behaved during WW2. The Russian male psyche obviously doesn’t mind rape as a form of punishment.

Do you think the police would take her reporting to them about this seriously? Would they actually do anything about it to punish him in any serious way so as deter further retribution or anything else?

It’s up to Anna, but for the security of just getting him to leave her alone, I’d pay. Chalk it up to the cost of doing business in Russia.

Sandra1523 · 16/06/2025 14:02

Hiddenmnetter · 16/06/2025 13:46

Look, you’re in Moscow.

Tell me- what happens to Dennis if he gets upset and comes around and beats and rapes Anna? Do the police give a shit? Does anyone take her plight seriously? Look at how the shock troops in Russia behaved during the Ukraine invasion. Look at how the Red Army behaved during WW2. The Russian male psyche obviously doesn’t mind rape as a form of punishment.

Do you think the police would take her reporting to them about this seriously? Would they actually do anything about it to punish him in any serious way so as deter further retribution or anything else?

It’s up to Anna, but for the security of just getting him to leave her alone, I’d pay. Chalk it up to the cost of doing business in Russia.

Anna wants to first try explaining why she’s deducting certain losses and expenses, and even include a line like “If I’m being unreasonable, please tell me.” Maybe Denis will accept it. But if he reacts emotionally — with threats or insults — she understands that it may be safer to just pay. We simply don’t know how he’ll respond yet. Anna feels it’s worth trying. He’s not a gangster, after all.

Still, it’s much safer to start that conversation after the lock is changed — just in case. And since Anna refuses to follow my advice to change the lock immediately and plans to do it only on Tuesday evening, we need some kind of holding message now to prevent Denis from doing anything before then.

OP posts:
Charliebear322 · 16/06/2025 14:05

For gods sake he’s done 90% of the work so should get 90% of the payment

greencartbluecart · 16/06/2025 14:06

Anna isn’t being reasonable on trying to deduct anything because it was an informal set up that has broken down

she should pay for what she has received

messybutfun · 16/06/2025 14:09

AnSolas · 16/06/2025 12:22

No in the UK per their contract she has over paid him by 90% as the deal was he must finish 100% of the work to be paid.

But thats not relevant as the OP is not suggesting this wiĺl end up in court.

1. Lost rental income.
Yes: Anna could should have started looking for another contractor right away and avoided the delay and lost rent.
But she cant deduct that as a cost.

2. Time and effort spent finding a replacement.
Yes: many contractors are reluctant to take on small, leftover projects and will charge more as they are taking on a poor quality work risk of a prior tradie and/or a fussy client
So this cost is deductable

3. Imperfect quality of the completed work.
So what if Denis’s work was subpar, and a reasonable deduction is ^ not justified based on the quality as this is the third time he was employed and there is no standard of quality control agreed.
So this is not deductable.

Anna is willing to have to pay multiple of what is owed in damage to her flat and be beaten up to save money.
Imo she is totally a little nuts sometimes it cheaper to pay to be rid of a problem and move on.

As a holding text Anna should send a begging text to ask Denis to come back and finish the work or ask him to sub the work out or offer a small bonus to him to finish the 10% and hope he will come back to her so that she can stall for the 3 days.

However builders can open any door with battery tools these days. Denis can drill the lock as fast as any locksmith so if he is the violent type she should pay him to get rid of him.

I would argue that any contractor has to work to an acceptable standard as a minimum requirement and in some areas also a legal requirement.

IchiNiSanShiGo · 16/06/2025 14:10

Anna is being a stubborn idiot. If he’s so likely to escalate, she needs to get the lock changed today, then pay him what he’s owed. Quibbling about what to put in a message to him is a waste of time.

greencartbluecart · 16/06/2025 14:11

But there wasn’t a contract

Hiddenmnetter · 16/06/2025 14:12

Sandra1523 · 16/06/2025 14:02

Anna wants to first try explaining why she’s deducting certain losses and expenses, and even include a line like “If I’m being unreasonable, please tell me.” Maybe Denis will accept it. But if he reacts emotionally — with threats or insults — she understands that it may be safer to just pay. We simply don’t know how he’ll respond yet. Anna feels it’s worth trying. He’s not a gangster, after all.

Still, it’s much safer to start that conversation after the lock is changed — just in case. And since Anna refuses to follow my advice to change the lock immediately and plans to do it only on Tuesday evening, we need some kind of holding message now to prevent Denis from doing anything before then.

Anna is dumb. Tell her to stop being dumb.

bluecurtains14 · 16/06/2025 14:13

Nothing in writing? She could just change the locks today. Likely to cost more than 10% of the overall cost from Dennis to get someone new to start from scratch for the last 10%.

dogcatkitten · 16/06/2025 14:20

Sandra1523 · 16/06/2025 11:56

Here are Anna's losses and additional expenses:

1. Lost rental income.
Anna planned to lease the apartment immediately after the renovation. It was clearly agreed that Denis would complete the full renovation. However, he left the final stage unfinished and then ghosted her for two months — simply because he got a more lucrative project. Only after two months did he finally confirm he wouldn’t be returning. If Denis had told her earlier, Anna could have started looking for another contractor right away and avoided the delay and lost rent.

2. Time and effort spent finding a replacement.
Anna now has to search for another contractor, explain the unfinished work, and negotiate new terms. This is frustrating and time-consuming — and many contractors are reluctant to take on small, leftover projects.

3. Imperfect quality of the completed work.
Some of Denis’s work was subpar, and a reasonable deduction is justified based on the quality.

This is why you have a written contract. Then the importance of the timescale, and the required quality of the work would be in writing. She has nothing, the only thing she could reasonably claim is the cost to complete the work, but even then with no contract who knows what the agreement was. She could say she's getting quotes to complete the work before deciding how much to pay, but if he's as unpredictable as you think I would just pay. Even if you change the locks, he's a builder, he will easily be able to get in one way or another if he wants to.

friendlycat · 16/06/2025 14:25

She didn’t have a proper contract but is now trying to behave as though she did.
He has the keys and she’s scared of repercussions.
The most sensible thing to do would be to pay the balance she owes him and get someone else in to complete the job.

All this silly talk of delaying and holding messages aren’t going to help.
Pay up, get the job finished and move on.

GanninHyem · 16/06/2025 14:35

She's terrified of the guy breaking in and taking revenge, yet has the time to piss fart around on MN asking for help simply composing a message, when, oh I dunno chat GPT or any other of the million AI sites could do the exact same job instantly. Reasonable.

LeavesOnTrees · 16/06/2025 14:38

She needs to pay for the work that has been done. So the remaining 40%.

Denis has been unprofessional and Anna has been quite frankly an idiot.

The loss of income from renting the apartment is her problem not Denis'.

She is right to send a list of remaining work, but she needs to accept that neither her nor Denis have a leg to stand on either way, but if she feels threatened physically then I guess, unfortunately that wins.

tripleginandtonic · 16/06/2025 14:39

Change the locks and pay him the 90%.

AnSolas · 16/06/2025 14:44

messybutfun · 16/06/2025 14:09

I would argue that any contractor has to work to an acceptable standard as a minimum requirement and in some areas also a legal requirement.

Acceptable is a subjective test.

Most countries have regs or standards to make sure that buildings works are safe and functional and once the work ticks these boxed they are "acceptable".
But "pretty" is not covered thats a contract spec out term.

I am guessing that unless the tiles are installed crazy paving style etc Anna has no way of judging what is or is not done to a correct standard. And Anne thinks Denis would not be able to drill through the door while chatting to the NDN about how Anne decided to change the door hardware and how the drill is rather noisy 🙈 🤷‍♀️

Anyway unless the builder is a total cowboy the last 5% / 10% of any building job will be about making the job look pretty.

Sandra1523 · 16/06/2025 14:44

GanninHyem · 16/06/2025 14:35

She's terrified of the guy breaking in and taking revenge, yet has the time to piss fart around on MN asking for help simply composing a message, when, oh I dunno chat GPT or any other of the million AI sites could do the exact same job instantly. Reasonable.

Edited

No, she asked me to help her write the holding message. I can’t say no — she’s done a lot for me in the past. She’s not the one pissing fart around on MN — I am, because I can't say "no" to her and don’t know how to write that kind of message either…

OP posts:
cryptide · 16/06/2025 14:53

Only after two months did he finally confirm he wouldn’t be returning. If Denis had told her earlier, Anna could have started looking for another contractor right away and avoided the delay and lost rent.

She could have sorted it all out then if she wanted to. All she needed to do was to write saying she couldn't wait any longer as she would be losing rental income, if he did,t come back to finish the job by X date she would take it that he had terminated the contract and organise another contractor, deducting any extra costs incurred from what was due to him.

As she chose not to do anything to mitigate loss, I doubt that she can claim the lost rent against him.

Hiddenmnetter · 16/06/2025 14:54

She can choose to claim whatever she likes from this guy. However if he’s unstable enough to take reprisal against her, it doesn’t matter at all what she’s “entitled” to claim. In the law of the jungle the weak are oppressed and the strong do what they like. Pay, and make him go away. Anything else is reckless and foolish.

cryptide · 16/06/2025 14:58

I’ve told Anna that the safest option is to change the lock immediately and postpone everything else, no matter how “important” it seems right now. But she insists she doesn’t need lectures — she just wants help wording a message to buy time.

If I received that sort of response from her, frankly my response would be "It's not a lecture, it's just basic common sense. I can't wave a magic wand that guarantees he won't try to get in, you've got to change the lock anyway, so stop being a dickhead and just go and do it now.

greencartbluecart · 16/06/2025 15:00

To Anne you say

”I’m sorry Anne but I can’t write anything that can sort this out. My advise to you is to pay what he has asked and the change the locks . I know this isn’t what you want but it is my best advise “

friendlycat · 16/06/2025 15:04

greencartbluecart · 16/06/2025 15:00

To Anne you say

”I’m sorry Anne but I can’t write anything that can sort this out. My advise to you is to pay what he has asked and the change the locks . I know this isn’t what you want but it is my best advise “

This is what I would say too. She’s just being silly.

ConcernedOfClapham · 16/06/2025 17:09

I’m afraid verbal agreements aren’t worth the paper they’re not written on.

get everything nailed down in writing before the job is started, is the lesson here.

and don’t trust Russian men you barely know, possibly.

Brefugee · 16/06/2025 17:14

Anna needs to pay him to get rid of him. And she can count it as having paid for a lesson in how to conduct business as an adult.

Whatever he did, or didn't do, is immaterial.

Azandme · 16/06/2025 17:23

Sandra1523 · 16/06/2025 12:49

No, he’s just a builder. But Russian men can retaliate very harshly if they feel they’ve been wronged… There’s a real chance he could show up at the apartment if Anna says no before changing the lock — or even if she says ‘wait three days’ without adding something to reassure him that she intends to pay in full.

On the other hand, if Anna promises to pay in full but then, after changing the lock, says she won’t — Denis may feel betrayed, and at that point, her physical safety could genuinely be at risk…

If this is actually the case then SURELY the only sensible and safe course of action is to pay him the 90% for the 90% of work done.

Is it morally right? No. Is it worth the risk to be right? Also no.

She can write it off as a Stupid Tax for not getting a proper contract.

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