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Contractor demands urgent unfair payment — still has a key. How to safely buy time before saying no?

82 replies

Sandra1523 · 16/06/2025 11:28

A very good friend of mine, whom I’ll call Anna, hired a guy I’ll call Denis (a neighbor of her parents) to renovate an apartment she owns and intends to lease. There was no written contract — just a verbal agreement based on trust, since they’d known each other for years. The deal was that the renovation would be done in stages, and she’d pay him after each stage was completed. Everything went fine at first: Denis finished three stages and was paid in full for each. But on the final stage (mainly involving the bathroom — plumbing, fixtures, tiles, etc.), he only completed about 90% of the work. Then he told Anna he might not be able to come back to finish it, as he had to start another project.

Anna paid him 60% of the money for that final stage and told him she’d pay the remaining 40% only if and when he finished the job. Then Denis ghosted her completely — no replies, no explanations — for two whole months. Now, out of the blue, he’s messaged her via WhatsApp, said he won’t be coming back to finish anything, but demands she urgently pay him another 30% (so that he gets 90% of the money for 90% of the work). Anna doesn’t agree with this and believes it’s only fair to deduct certain expenses and losses she incurred due to Denis withdrawing from the project. These deductions amount to about two-thirds of what Denis is asking for. She’s planning to write Denis a calm, respectful message explaining her position and offering one-third of what he’s asking for.

But here’s the twist: Denis still has a key to the apartment. And based on his earlier behavior — disappearing for two months, reappearing with this demand, and seeming emotionally unstable — Anna’s worried he might react badly to her message and raid the apartment to cause damage in retaliation, or take something as “collateral” to pressure her into paying in full. So she needs to change the lock before telling Denis she isn’t going to pay what he’s asking for. But she’s totally swamped with urgent work and family obligations and says she realistically can’t manage to replace the lock for three days from the day Denis sent his message.

So Anna wants to send a short, vague message now to acknowledge receipt of his demand and buy time to replace the lock, and she’s asked me to help her word the message. I can't refuse, because she has done a lot for me in the past.

Question: What’s the safest way to word such a message — one that doesn’t promise to pay, but also doesn’t make Denis think she’s stalling or planning to refuse to pay? Denis is unpredictable, so the message has to be as low-risk as possible. Or is it better to stay completely silent until the lock is changed?

Anna’s goal is to minimize the risk of Denis raiding the apartment before she changes the lock — and also to minimize the risk of retaliation afterward, including the possibility of physical assault. Unfortunately, in Russia, where Anna and Denis live, physical violence that leaves no lasting injuries usually isn’t prosecuted as a criminal offense. Denis has no legal way to recover the money he’s demanding, especially as there’s no contract and no written evidence — so Anna’s only concern is the potential for personal or property-related harm.

I’ve tried to persuade her that she absolutely must change the lock immediately rather than three days later, but unfortunately, she’s prioritizing work and family commitments. To help Anna, I’d much rather replace the lock myself than write a time-buying message, but I currently live outside Russia.

OP posts:
stayathomegardener · 16/06/2025 12:51

Good luck getting a second contractor to pick up the unfinished job for 10% of the remaining payment, it could well be 50% if she can get anyone to take it on at all, most I know would refuse.

I would pay an emergency locksmith to change the locks immediately.

Navigatinglife100 · 16/06/2025 12:53

Pay him then.

I can't see any of her issues are sooooo bad that it warrants her worrying as much as she is. If she has good reason to worry that makes it all the more good reason to pay, and move on. Even though its going to cost her a bit.

I can't help any more because I have no knowledge of how real the impact could be, and how useful the courts or police would be in the event of an issue.

Hiddenmnetter · 16/06/2025 12:55

Oh well fuck that. I thought this was the UK where people are generally law abiding. Russia is basically a lawless state. Just pay and get rid. Anything else would be stupid.

Sandra1523 · 16/06/2025 12:59

Why can’t Anna deduct lost rental income?

Denis didn’t withdraw from the verbal agreement after completing 90% of the last stage. He just said there was a slim chance he might not be able to finish it. He also didn’t return the key to the apartment when he left. After that, Anna messaged him many times asking when he would come back to complete the job — but Denis ignored her for two full months.

Had Denis stated at that point that he wasn’t going to finish the work, Anna could have started looking for a new contractor right away.

So even in a situation like this, she can’t deduct lost rental income? Not even for a month? Not even half a month?

OP posts:
tothelefttotheleft · 16/06/2025 13:01

@Sandra1523

If he's ghosted her for two months don't reply and change the lock. What's the rush to reply when he ignored her for months?

babyproblems · 16/06/2025 13:04

She should pay him for 90% of the work and have the locks changed.

She should always have a signed legally sound agreement beforehand for any future work!!!

babyproblems · 16/06/2025 13:05

Sandra1523 · 16/06/2025 12:59

Why can’t Anna deduct lost rental income?

Denis didn’t withdraw from the verbal agreement after completing 90% of the last stage. He just said there was a slim chance he might not be able to finish it. He also didn’t return the key to the apartment when he left. After that, Anna messaged him many times asking when he would come back to complete the job — but Denis ignored her for two full months.

Had Denis stated at that point that he wasn’t going to finish the work, Anna could have started looking for a new contractor right away.

So even in a situation like this, she can’t deduct lost rental income? Not even for a month? Not even half a month?

She shouldn’t deduct lost rental income because she legally has zero agreement that she hired him to do a job. She has zero to stand on. When projects run over as they often do on build jobs; you have to adjust.
She should have factored in extra time. She could also have used the money she withheld to pay another contractor to finish the work so she could continue with the rental quicker.
None of this is Denis’ problem!!

greencartbluecart · 16/06/2025 13:11

It was a verbal agreement - he did 90% he gets paid 90%

Sandra1523 · 16/06/2025 13:14

tothelefttotheleft · 16/06/2025 13:01

@Sandra1523

If he's ghosted her for two months don't reply and change the lock. What's the rush to reply when he ignored her for months?

He sent the payment request on Saturday, asking her to urgently transfer the money to his card by Sunday — giving her just one day to act. Now it’s Monday, and Anna still hasn’t replied or changed the lock. We’re concerned that this silence could provoke Denis to show up at the apartment and take “collateral” or cause damage, since he still has access and might feel that his (in his mind, legitimate) request is being deliberately ignored.

Anna won’t be able to change the lock until Tuesday evening. So right now, she’s asking for my help in drafting a short message to Denis — one that will buy her time and reduce the risk of him acting impulsively before then. Once the lock is changed on Tuesday evening, she plans to send him a calm and respectful “no.” What happens next will depend on Denis’s reaction — but for now, she just needs a short, safe message to buy time until Tuesday night.

OP posts:
greencartbluecart · 16/06/2025 13:14

Ian also interested in what 10% of a bathroom refurb actually is - I would have thought that sounds like the final tiles or flooring so hardly a big thing ?

differbt if it’s half tiled or something but 90% sone sounds like a functioning bathroom?

may be irrelevant - but might not be as I guess that effects how easy it is to get the job finished

Cadenza12 · 16/06/2025 13:15

She should just pay the money.

greencartbluecart · 16/06/2025 13:15

To be fair Anne has been sitting on the 40% for quite a while - he might have expected that cash to turn up sometime over the last few months - sending a reminder now seems quite laid back really

AloeVeraAloeFred · 16/06/2025 13:18

The best thing would be not to reply to Denis at all. Not now, to defer him, nor later to justify the reduced amount of money she has decided to send. If he disagrees with her reasoning, then further communication achieves nothing and risks making him angry.

He knows he won't see any money if he comes along to damage or destroy her property. I think silence is the best way to keep him feeling uncertain about whether he might see the money or not. If she has time to reply to him, he'll reason she has time to send the money, and, having her attention he may be more inclined to escalate his behaviour in some way - the opposite of what she wants.

As others have pointed out, if Denis is the sort of person to escalate his behaviour to threats, stalking or criminal damage, then changing the locks will not prevent him.

Sandra1523 · 16/06/2025 13:22

babyproblems · 16/06/2025 13:05

She shouldn’t deduct lost rental income because she legally has zero agreement that she hired him to do a job. She has zero to stand on. When projects run over as they often do on build jobs; you have to adjust.
She should have factored in extra time. She could also have used the money she withheld to pay another contractor to finish the work so she could continue with the rental quicker.
None of this is Denis’ problem!!

They had a verbal agreement, and Anna even has a handwritten cost estimate from Denis stating that the bathroom would be fully renovated — which he failed to complete. The estimate clearly shows the total cost for a full bathroom renovation, but Denis did not finish the job. The document is written in Denis’s own handwriting.

In the messenger history, there are multiple messages from Anna asking when he would return to complete the work — followed, two months later, by Denis’s reply demanding payment.

OP posts:
greencartbluecart · 16/06/2025 13:25

Did these paper record include a payment schedule ?

AloeVeraAloeFred · 16/06/2025 13:25

babyproblems · 16/06/2025 13:05

She shouldn’t deduct lost rental income because she legally has zero agreement that she hired him to do a job. She has zero to stand on. When projects run over as they often do on build jobs; you have to adjust.
She should have factored in extra time. She could also have used the money she withheld to pay another contractor to finish the work so she could continue with the rental quicker.
None of this is Denis’ problem!!

It's a strange take that if there is "zero agreement" that Denis was hired to do a job, that it is Anna who doesn't have a leg to stand on when it comes to him demanding further payment... Anna isn't asking Denis for anything at this stage.

Brefugee · 16/06/2025 13:28

Here are Anna's losses and additional expenses:
1. Lost rental income.
2. Time and effort spent finding a replacement.
3. Imperfect quality of the completed work.

Anna has had 90% of the work done and the contractor is being fair and not demanding 100% payment, but 90%. She owes him and should pay.

She is totally stupid to have arranged all this with no written contract, it is all on her. Can i assume this is a cash in hand job so that she can save money and make more on her rental? More fool her. She actually deserves the problem, because it might teach her how to do things in the future.

just saw it's all in Russia. Pay the money, get the locks changed and learn from your mistakes.

Sandra1523 · 16/06/2025 13:32

greencartbluecart · 16/06/2025 13:15

To be fair Anne has been sitting on the 40% for quite a while - he might have expected that cash to turn up sometime over the last few months - sending a reminder now seems quite laid back really

Our understanding is that Denis was willing to forfeit the remaining payment in favor of a more lucrative project. There was a clear verbal agreement that he would complete the full renovation so Anna could lease the apartment. Instead, he walked away with just 10% of the final stage left — and then went completely silent for two months.

He likely knows what he did was wrong. Now, he probably needs money urgently — which may explain the sudden demand for payment. It could just be an attempt to get quick cash. But we can’t be sure, so we have to play it safe.

OP posts:
Velmy · 16/06/2025 13:32

Sandra1523 · 16/06/2025 12:17

Nice try, but Denis is likely to reply with something like, “Just transfer the money — it only takes a few clicks and a couple of minutes.” And if he senses that Anna isn't going to pay the full amount he’s asking for, he might show up at the apartment to cause damage in retaliation, or take something as “collateral” to pressure her into paying.

If Anna promises to pay just to buy time to change the lock, and then refuses after the lock is changed, Denis will feel betrayed — and at that point, her physical safety could genuinely be at risk.

I’ve told Anna that the safest option is to change the lock immediately and postpone everything else, no matter how “important” it seems right now. But she insists she doesn’t need lectures — she just wants help wording a message to buy time.

If he's volatile enough to damage/steal from the apartment or physically assault her, what good will changing the lock do? He'll just kick the door through and do it anyway.

Letstheriveranswer · 16/06/2025 13:33

"I have an appointment with the bank on Wednesday, I'll get back to you after that"

AloeVeraAloeFred · 16/06/2025 13:36

Brefugee · 16/06/2025 13:28

Here are Anna's losses and additional expenses:
1. Lost rental income.
2. Time and effort spent finding a replacement.
3. Imperfect quality of the completed work.

Anna has had 90% of the work done and the contractor is being fair and not demanding 100% payment, but 90%. She owes him and should pay.

She is totally stupid to have arranged all this with no written contract, it is all on her. Can i assume this is a cash in hand job so that she can save money and make more on her rental? More fool her. She actually deserves the problem, because it might teach her how to do things in the future.

just saw it's all in Russia. Pay the money, get the locks changed and learn from your mistakes.

Edited

But he's not being fair when he decided unilaterally to inconvenience her by not finishing the job and then ghosting her for 2 months. I imagine if Denis had originally offered to do 90% of the bathroom for 90% of the quote, Anna would have declined. Actually, their verbal agreement was that he would be paid when he completed the work, so Anna is in breach of nothing.

The responsibility for not having a written contract, which I agree was foolish, is as much Denis' as it is Anna's. Likewise, it is completely Denis' own responsibility to pay tax on his earnings (though I've no idea how this works in Russia).

If Anna suspects that he is or could be a dangerous man, she should either just pay him what he asked, a fair price for her safety, or ignore him. I don't see a point in engaging otherwise. Any relationship they had as friends is surely soured now.

Birdy1982 · 16/06/2025 13:36

Anna should get a quote to complete the work & deduct it from what he is owed and communicate that is her plan.

loss of rent is really on her - she could have done this months ago

Sandra1523 · 16/06/2025 13:38

Velmy · 16/06/2025 13:32

If he's volatile enough to damage/steal from the apartment or physically assault her, what good will changing the lock do? He'll just kick the door through and do it anyway.

The door is extremely solid — you can’t just kick it in :) This is Russia, basically a lawless state in many ways, and people tend to have seriously heavy-duty doors. If he tries to break in or dismantle the lock, there's a real risk someone will notice and call the police. But if he can just unlock it with a key, that’s a totally different story…

OP posts:
friendlycat · 16/06/2025 13:41

I would just pay him.
And move on.

Sandra1523 · 16/06/2025 13:43

greencartbluecart · 16/06/2025 13:25

Did these paper record include a payment schedule ?

No, it simply says that the bathroom will be fully renovated (with the words “in full” explicitly written), lists the specific tasks to be done, and states the total cost. It’s not an official document with signatures — just a note written in Denis’s own handwriting.

OP posts:
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