Retirement and spouse - same age or same time?

[Ohrightyho]

DH is 4 years older than me. Theoretically, is it fair or best to retire at the same age or at the same time?

I’ve been upping my pension contributions with the aim of retiring at 63. DH and I have similar sized pension pots at the moment, so that would mean he could afford to retire at the same time as me, but he’d be 67. Is that fair? Should I sacrifice some of my retirement plans so he can retire earlier? (If he retired at 64 say, his pension pot would be a little light). Or best to retire at the same time and have fun together, but I’d get to retire younger.

I think this might be one of the reasons women used to get state pension at 60 and men 65.

I say theoretical because I’m sure life and careers will throw some curve balls before then. More likely we’ll both work part time for a bit. We’ve also got to get twins through university first 😭

It occurred to me because (a) I need to get DH to sit down and look at pension planning with me and (b) a family member recently retired mid-50s, his wife is still working and as far as I know she’ll carry on working until 67, which seems rather unfair to me! - caveat I’ve no idea what their actual decisions are and none of my business, I know.

My dh is four years older than me and hopes to retire at 64 in three years time. I was thinking I would retire at the same time but I will only be 60 and I think we would struggle on the private pensions we have available to us, so I may carry on for a few years doing something part time. My dh 's health is not great though so I fear time is running out to do some of the things we want to whilst we are both well enough.
I also worry we would get fed up with each other being home all the time. I think we need to develop some hobbies or interests we can do alone ! I think it's probably one of those things that's really hard to get right !
There is a MN section on retirement where there are some threads on timing.

DH and I have 5 years between us and plan to retire at same time. We will be 62 and 57. We are currently 52 and 47 so obviously this might change if our pensions don’t perform as well as we hope.
I have joined the civil service recently for the pension alone, so at least one of our pensions isn’t stock market dependent.

Ah yes thanks under Work, I’ve never noticed that!

Dh is a year older than me (57 and 58). He wants to retire at 62. He can if i carry on working for a couple of years after.

DH and I retired at the same time at ages 52 and 55 - different sized pensions but as all family money is joint, it’s irrelevant. Didn’t seem any point retiring at different times when we want to do our retirement plans together.

I retired at 57.
OH is 3yrs younger and is now working PT (2-days a week) for a couple of years when he will also retire fully.
Works for us. Time on my own but also lots of time for us to be together.

Needless to say that we are financially secure, OH does not need to work at all but likes doing just a couple of days with the ability to stop completely whenever he wants.

Unfortunately things change. I retired at 58, made redundant DH (4 years older) was fine with this, we had savings. 2 years later DH had heart attack and needed a triple heart bypass, this was in 2020 so in lockdown and DH was advised to isolate as long as possible. We decided he would also retire aged 63. We are happy, not too extravagant with spending, he has State Pension along with 2 smallish private pensions, I have 2 smallish pensions, our savings are gone, but we have inherited from his parents. It’s not the retirement we envisaged, but we enjoy each other’s company, always have.

I think you'd be mad not to retire at the same time. Life is so short. Me and DH are taking our pensions in 2027. I'll be 58 and he will be 55. He is stopping work and then will be helping me with my self employed WFH job.

DH and I have 8 years between us . I will ‘retire’ with him so that we get some healthy active years together 🤞.

Ooh I’m really interested in the answer to this. I’m a bit younger than some that have replied I think, but 5 years older than my partner, with a far better pension but one which I can’t access till I’m 68. So maybe I have to work till 68 and then we both retire at 68/63. Ideally our pensions would be the other way around and I could retire at 63, with him going part time until he’s ready.

And just to add, we are going to go away every winter for 2-3 months - you couldn't do that if one person was working.

We are same age but different sized pots because I kept moving jobs and the rules made me take my contributions back in cash. And then I've been part time since DC.

In theory we'll retire at the same time so we can do stuff together . In practice I think he'd rather go part time for a few years so I might retire earlier than planned because his wage will still be coming in so I'll need a smaller pension.

Pensions are final salary can be accessed at 57. I'll probably retire 55 at the latest, he might go part time then and retire closer to 60. We have retirement savings outside pension to cover the gap.

I’m amazed at all of you who are retiring before 60! I thought times when that was more common were long past.

In terms of retiring at different times, my concern is the one who retires first will have lost enthusiasm for trying new things and going new places and/or got stuck in a routine.

DH is 4 years older than me and we retired at the same time. He has final salary pensions and I have a DC pot so it’s hard to compare the relative value - but it’s all family money in our opinion so as long as we have enough between us … 🤷‍♀️

13 years younger than DH. He retired at 67 (but had caring responsibilities for his DM) and I retired at 55 the following year. We could afford for me to stop (I had planned for 55) and I didn't want to get down the line and realise I had spent time working that I could have spent with him.
So my answer would depend on affordability, how much you enjoy work/how demanding it is/ what you both plan to do when not working any more.

My DH is younger than me and he's planning on retiring when he's a year or two off state retirement age. Me, not planning on fully retiring at all.

Husband retired 2 years ago at 58; I’m 4 years younger and continued part time but will retire at Christmas, aged 56. Looking at our parents who have declined rapidly in the last couple of years in their mid 80s, it gives us hopefully 20 good years together. Yes, we could both work longer and have slightly bigger pensions, but time is finite and that’s what’s most important to us.

I'm a year older than DH. I've already told him that I'm retiring first to have a year "off" before we commit to any long term projects or travelling.

I've done exactly the same, joined CS 3 years ago for the pension, I was 46 at the time, honestly I was quite shocked at the amount the pension pot returns in what feels like quite a short time working for them!

DH is 16 years older than me, I don't think it will be feasible to retire at the same time. We have our own business that is ft+ and I don't really want to do that on my own but hopefully I would be able to get a pt job somewhere else

It must come down to how much you enjoy your job versus how much you enjoy whatever it is that you do instead.

DH fourteen years older, in a job he adored, continued until Covid put paid to the travelling required. Deferring his state pension for ten years provided an entirely unexpected bonus.

We are same age but I’m retiring at 55 and realistically DH will need to keep working til 60 - I’ve had decades of ill health and have prioritised saving to retire early

67 is a long time to work depending on his health and job satisfaction.

What are your goals in retirement? He will have a lot less time to fulfill those goals if he works til 67.

Can you adjust and retire together at a time he can retire a bit earlier?

Should I sacrifice some of my retirement plans so he can retire earlier?

Whats been the set up during your life?
I had years were I didn’t have full earning capacity because I took maternity leave etc and while there were years I earned more there were also many year DH carries the family so if I ended up with a bigger pension and viewed it as “sacrificing” my retirement age it would be pretty shitty.
Has your live and finances been totally shared up to this point?

I hop DH is doing well and glad you’re both happy. See this is why I really hope I find someone with a good heart and compatibility also as opposed to just with money/charm. You don’t know what fate has in store but if you’re both compatible and genuinely enjoy each others company, you can get by on the simple things and each others company alone 😌