Feel like I can't complain about my financial situation but feel fed up

[Dandelion193]

I just find it all so monotonous. I'm not in dire straits financially but just feel fed up. I earn about £40k live on my own, no children to support.

But I have about £16k of debt from various things, car(not a new one), bathroom (needed to be redone it was old and leaking) new boiler (old one was dangerous) some stuff less urgent, replacing old carpets, redecorating etc that could've waited and I did as much as I could myself but the state of the house was getting me down. I should pay off my debt in about 2 years and should finish paying off the mortgage in around 10 years. Maybe a bit earlier if I overpayment once I've paid off the other debts
The last few years I've been going on holiday once a year spending about £700/£800 a year, which I know I could have skipped and paid more on my debt but in reality it would only knock an extra month off the debt

I don't feel like I live extravagantly, I don't pay into a pension at the moment which isn't great as I know I should really. I probably go out for a fairly cheap meal once or twice a month and if I paid into my pension that would have to stop
I know there are people really struggling and I can afford my bills, pay for food etc.

I just feel like I have no ability to save and feel pretty vulnerable if I lost my job, I have no savings cushion. If anything expensive breaks, I'll need to get out more debt.

I feel like alot of people would feel very lucky in my situation that I'm able to support myself financially but I just feel like living pay check to pay check for at least the next 2 years is pretty depressing

Wild that you come to the conclusion i "look down on you" from both my posts 🧐

You came on here and said "you feel like living pay check to pay check for at least the next 2 years is pretty depressing"

I don't disagree.
The point is you have options to be less "depressed" but when presented with them you dismiss them and don't want to explore them... I'm pointing out it's entirely possible to have a lodger if you want.
If your current state is preferable carry on... I dont think anyone on the internet cares either way...

Re your nervousness I think its common to feel that way regarding sharing a space and it's a choice you have to make.
A stranger is just a friend you haven't met etc.
I found once you start looking you get a feel for people quickly via email / telephone ... by the time i met people face to fade they were all fairly normal/ fine.
i initially thought I'd hate having a male lodger and the concept made me uncomfortable but in reality i found they kept themselves to themselves and i much preferred it to women.
The biggest pains in the arses i had were:

• a woman i found on spareroom who had red flags before she moved in but I ignored them as her job was cool / she seemed fun
• a female friend of a friend who needed a room after a break up and who thought we were joint tenants.

You were saying what I said was nonsense. It was not nonsense, there was no need to be rude. I have a job with sensitive information that would require privacy while working and I had valid reasons to feel nervous about a stranger living in my house. Just because your mate has access to sensitive info and works alongside their spouse means nothing, my employer expects confidentiality and we sign up to confidentiality agreements, can't work in public spaces e.g couldn't work on a train because people can overhear

It is something I said I would consider but not something I would jump straight into and wouldn't be comfortable with particularly.
Either living pay check to pay check or having a lodger and paying off my debt slightly quicker both seem like pretty unappealing options

Cool 👍

Hope you work it out

If you go for a Mon-Fri lodger they will want the room because they are closer to work, which means they're likely to be out of the house every day and the confidentiality will be less of an issue.

You are mid 30s and have only ten years left on your mortgage? Can you extend the term, and use your reduced payments to start your pension?

I agree that you should explore the rental option for a short fixed period (eg six months) and advertise ‘May suit a contractor or someone on a short-term project’

The thing about a lodger is it's such a fast and significant step change in your whole financial position - not just paying off your debt slightly earlier. Assuming that you don't have to spend money on making the room OK (possibly a big if), and that you can rent a room at say £400, in September this year you could have a £1000 cushion in an ISA and start a pension the same month, even if a low contribution to start with, and you will pay off your entire debt at least 3 months early. (Tbh if you don't start a pension soon, the house could be unaffordable when you eventually do retire.) Of course you could just chuck it all at the debt, in which case you'll be debt free 9 months early.

It might even be enjoyable. I'm not anti working from home - I do it myself - but I can't help wondering if it's a bit isolating and contributing to you feeling as if life is so mundane. Having someone around might be fun at least some of the time.

Could you do a Mon-Fri let? Often it turns out to be Mon-Thursday because people go home after work on a Friday. Demand for them is more common around unis, hospitals and defence places. It would mean that your home is your own for the weekend…

I totally understand the struggle, the burden of everything on you and the insecurity of having no savings whilst living on one income. But this has stuck with me from a PP:

In my book: if you have an asset and you need to, you leverage it.

I know you don’t feel entirely comfortable with the prospect of getting a lodger, but you know, needs must and all that. Surely this is better, if you’re shrewd in your selection, than not chipping away at the debt and having not much of a quality of life? You are in a precarious situation - e.g. what would you do if you need a new boiler or roof? Put it on a credit card?

OP,

I had a number of these challenges when I was single and on a just-above-average income. Good luck with it.

My questions:

• If you needed to rent out your house for whatever reason (I was a mature student at one point) would the rent cover the mortgage? When I realised it didn't for my naice two bedroom house, I bit the bullet and moved into a one-bedroom. Cheaper to run too, of course.

• I'm with you on disliking the idea of a lodger. <shudder>

• obviously, use your employer's private pension scheme as soon as you can

• maybe investigate more free social activities (I'm planning to try ParkRun ASAP and just walk it.) Lots of other options available.

• Have you checked your state pension entitlement online? www.gov.uk/check-state-pension Last year I paid off my mortgage and knew I would be (and was) proud to own my own (1-bed) house, free and clear, through my own efforts. This year I started getting the full state pension after 30 years of NI contributions and a small top-up. It's actually very inspiring to get approx. £900 a month as a single pensioner so looking forward to that might make you feel better about working so hard.

I think you're doing OK. You're really young and own a 3 bed house with 10 years left on the mortgage.
You say your debt will be paid off in two years. Crack on and get it paid. Still go on holiday as you have been doing and going out for the odd meal.
Once the debt is paid off start paying into a pension and getting some savings behind you.
Then when you're out of your fixed rate maybe look at extending your term so you can live a bit.
I agree with you about the lodger. It's often suggested on here but I would never ever go there. I had a female friend who had one years ago and it was a total nightmare. I'd rather work 3 jobs then take in a lodger

Either living pay check to pay check or having a lodger and paying off my debt slightly quicker both seem like pretty unappealing options

I forgot to say that I think you're being disingenuous here about the debt payment. I know you're in a cheap area, but you could find a lodger who would pay £500 a month all in, maybe £470 (the going current rate for a room in my old university city that's still cheap to live in). That's £470 - £500 you never had before and would pay off the debt a year earlier, and after that you could start saving. I would struggle to sleep at night in your current situation.

I get it - it's miserable if you feel like you've done all the things "right", worked hard and scrimped and saved for a house deposit, and foregone nice holidays and frivolries etc.

But I think you're looking at the negative side of things too much. Yes you have debt, yes there's not much fun money. But you have gotten on the housing ladder rather early, and you've even managed to do house improvements already, and you don't need to think about upsizing anytime soon. You have a good wage, and have been able to take on some credit to cover some necessary (and not so necessary) spending.

This is just how life is, we can't all expect to be able to go on five star holidays, lunch and dine out every week, keep pets, and have a lovely looking house. I know we all want to, but doesn't work like that.

Put your head down, pay the debt off, then make sure you save for any house improvements (rather than put it on credit cards). And start putting something into that pension, right now youre robbing from your future self (which the past you was doing, and now the present you is paying!! Not a good feeling). Head over to money saving expert debt free wannabe boards and make a plan. Chin up!

I know you’re not keen on a lodger. Maybe advertise for a 3 month let, with an option to extend. It’s a starting point and lets you get a sense of whether you can live with a lodger or not. As for getting the room ready, buy second had items. For confidentiality and security, put locks on your bedroom and office. Meet the person at a neutral location to start town to see if you feel comfortable with them, then a second meeting at your house. Or have a friend at home with you when they come to view. You can assess and compare notes with your friend on their impression of the potential lodger. Write a list of the attributes of your perfect lodger. See if they meet enough of the criteria to be acceptable, but under other no-one is perfect.

the other alternative is some kind of second job. Maybe dog walking or pet sitting. If you have a yard, you could do dog sitting in your home and take them for a walk. If you WHF, you should be able to fit that into your day. Maybe babysitting? Some kind of low commitment, not every weekend job would work well.

For holidays, could you do a house swap? Of course, that only works if you live somewhere that people want to visit. Or, do house sitting on holidays. Mind you, your holidays already sound cheap, but this might be a way to allow you to holiday more often or for longer without additional costs.

I do think you need for force yourself to try at least one thing. Then, if it doesn’t work, try something else. You say you are sick of feeling stuck, but your response to almost every suggestion has been “No, because…”. You need to open yourself up to options. Also,
you need to be paying into a pension, at least enough to get the employer match. You are literally leaving money on the table.

Something is going wrong, your a single person and earning that much. Clearly your over spending somewhere. My hubby brings in £1600 a month and other than the extra child benefit of 200 we pay all bills on a 3 bed house, have a new paid for car and a second hand older one,4 kids netflix and Disney, £10 phone contract each the kids are £5, do not have fixed gas, electric as it's been more expensive that way for the last 3 years, don't have a water meter which I'm aware from others is more expensive. We go on holiday about 3-4 times a year, we don't have debt and every penny spare goes in our spare pot either for next holiday, car or household items etc..Live in a beautiful area aswell..Maybe re check everything again

@Dandelion193 I'm similar to you. Single, mortgage, prefer living by myself. Where I am, two people earning a total of 40k have more disposable income than one person earning 40k due to each person getting the same tax free threshold - not sure if UK is the same. Costs for two people don't double. There's significantly less fresh food wastage, you can buy whole items instead of costlier part eg a quarter cabbage. Electricity, water etc increase is minimal as the majority of my costs are the service charge and you aren't charged by the number of people using lighting, just the fact the light is on. The unseen single tax is a killer. My mum is just seeing it now after my dad passed away.

It's essential to prioritise pension money (called superannuation over here). Like you, I had no spare money. We're lucky there is a compulsory amount employers have to pay for super (9% at the time). I was working somewhere where they would contribute 17% but you needed to put in 4% of your own (so employer 13% and you 4%). You could opt out but could not go back to 17% later. There were years that I really struggled and that little extra would have made all the difference. I'm so glad that I didn't drop it down as my superannuation balance is now very, very good. Which is really important as I'm much closer to retirement than you. The thing with this sort of investment is it grows by compounding. That is why it is so important to put in when you're in your 20s. Do some googling to see how small contributions in your 20s grow by retirement. When I'm feeling down about day to day money I look at my retirement account balance.

I took a bit of a career rest after burning out, so my income grew slower for about a decade, which in hind sight I regret. I've recently put my skates on with the intent of maximising my income over the next 10-15 years to really boost my retirement funds. That necessitated moving from where I'd been for 16 years. I've jumped up two levels in two years by doing that. I've cleared all debt in those two years and can now overpay my mortgage. I can draw down overpayments if needed, so it's a form of savings earning a good return (in terms of interest saved at mortgage rates, which are higher than investment rates) and I don't pay tax on it like I would interest or other passive income. I'm super charging what I can pay on the mortgage and any left over money from the prior pay is straight on the mortgage so I don't spend it. I've used equity in my unit (modest two bed) to redo my kitchen and bathroom. It didn't add much to my required payments and was a way of using my asset to benefit me.

Ultimately, your options are increase money coming in or decrease money going out. I'd recommend looking at roles that will move you forward and up the pay levels. Speak to a career coach if you need ideas on what options are available.

Your student loan only comes off your primary job, second job doesn’t ’count’,

I think there’s two ways to look at this. For someone in their 30s, with a home and only ten years left, you’re ahead of many. It sounds like you’ve updated the items that really needed it and made your home somewhere nice to live.

I don't think you’re overspending with your current budget and there’s nothing wrong with a little holiday each year. Paying off the debts really will help, but I understand how working all week and having little spare cash can get you down.

I really think you need to remember how far you’ve come and how well you’re doing, but, the sooner that debt is cleared the better. I can certainly understand the worries about sharing your home with a lodger, but it’s a short term worry to get you out of a hole. If you’ve look at the spare room sites, price your room competitively. That way you’ll have more people applying and more people to choose from to find the right match for you.

I understand the concerns you have about working from home and the sensitive nature of your work. If a lodger was at home, can you use headphones so at worst, they’d hear only parts of one side of any call. Put an old towel at the bottom of the door so sound doesn’t escape underneath. Depending on your home set up, I’d even consider moving myself into the two smallest rooms and renting the larger room, but I know this wouldn’t suit everyone.

Maybe not the wisest, but to compensate myself, from the lodgings, I’d put an extra 20 a week towards my social/holiday budget. My reward for the small compromises I’d have to make. Then, split the rest into some for pension, some for the debt repayment.

At worst, you give it a try for six months. But I really think it’s the most obvious solution to improving your position quickly. Just be very honest about the type of person you’re looking for and the expectations you’d have in your home.

we’re all different, but when I was in the thick of things with children, pets, elderly family and working full time, I knew the money was worth it, but I also prioritised eating out on Saturday night, otherwise I felt like all I did was work and look after others. Those years of hard slog were eventually worth it though. Hang in there.

Two problems: you don't make enough money, and you don't have a partner to help with splitting the costs of things.

I'm not saying you need a spouse, just pointing facts for someone typically in their mid-30s and why you might be struggling compared to your peers.

I assume you have to salaries coming in and you get child benefit? Not luxuries that the OP has. I appreciate living alone is cheaper than having kids to feed and clothe but she also has to pay ALL of the bills alone. (Something most people would struggle with)

Hi OP. It’s really tough when you’re the one paying all the bills alone and if you have debt on top, that’s an extra burden. Are your debts on a low APR? Could they be moved to a 0% credit card? You are in a fortunate position to be owning a home at your age but I know it’s not easy. I was in debt a long time ago and had to take on a second job. I can see why having a lodger isn’t appealing but it would only be short term. How many extra hours would you need to work a month to earn the same amount as a lodger would bring in?

£40k isn't a lot for a household income to be honest, it is shite at the moment and it's fine to moan. My friend has a lodger but they're just Mon to Fri and it works really well- she gets the house to herself at weekends and because they're there in the week just for work she doesn't really see them during the week much either. It is a big commitment though and it's worth doing all of the contracts etc properly to protect yourself if you go down this route.

So on £1800 a month you pay the rent and all of the bills for a family of 4 and go on holiday a few times a year? 🤔

I earn a bit more than you @Dandelion193 so can see how you're struggling.

I would get yourself over to the great MoneySavingExpert website and forums for advice but my initial thoughts are

1. start paying into a pension
2. don't add unsecured debt to your mortgage which is debt secured on your home
3. You may need to slow the debt repayment down a bit to give you the breathing space you need.

2 years will fly by, honestly. It doesn't seem that long since Christmas, and it's May nearly half the year is gone already.

You're in your mid 30s and expect to pay off your mortgage in 10 years, that's a really good position to be in. You'll also be able to start a pension in 2 years time when you're out of debt, so you will have at least 20-25 years to contribute, and you'll own your own home and have the state pension, so you will be in a fairly good position when you're in your late 60s and want to retire, so don't stress so much about it.

If you don't want a lodger, are there any other ways you could earn a bit of extra money? Babysitting? Mystery shopping? Dog walking or pet boarding? Cleaning? Bar/restaurant work? It used to be completely normal for young professionals to have a second job in addition to their main career. Even a single 3-4 hour shift a week at NMW is going to net you over £100 pm, so nearly doubling your disposable income.

Do you have a driveway you could rent out? Switch your bank account for the introductory offer - I've done this a few times and it pays £150-200 each time.

You could also consider stretching your credit card payments that are on 0%. I use the 0% offers to make money by offsetting with savings and just keep moving the balance from card to card, and have never paid a balance transfer fee in 20 years of doing this, so you could just pay the minimum and take longer to pay the cards off.

All of this. Definitely don't do anything to risk your low rate mortgage, you need to keep that as long as possible. But start a pension as soon as possible - you're missing out on tax relief and the employer contribution for all the time you delay.