Feel like I can't complain about my financial situation but feel fed up

[Dandelion193]

I just find it all so monotonous. I'm not in dire straits financially but just feel fed up. I earn about £40k live on my own, no children to support.

But I have about £16k of debt from various things, car(not a new one), bathroom (needed to be redone it was old and leaking) new boiler (old one was dangerous) some stuff less urgent, replacing old carpets, redecorating etc that could've waited and I did as much as I could myself but the state of the house was getting me down. I should pay off my debt in about 2 years and should finish paying off the mortgage in around 10 years. Maybe a bit earlier if I overpayment once I've paid off the other debts
The last few years I've been going on holiday once a year spending about £700/£800 a year, which I know I could have skipped and paid more on my debt but in reality it would only knock an extra month off the debt

I don't feel like I live extravagantly, I don't pay into a pension at the moment which isn't great as I know I should really. I probably go out for a fairly cheap meal once or twice a month and if I paid into my pension that would have to stop
I know there are people really struggling and I can afford my bills, pay for food etc.

I just feel like I have no ability to save and feel pretty vulnerable if I lost my job, I have no savings cushion. If anything expensive breaks, I'll need to get out more debt.

I feel like alot of people would feel very lucky in my situation that I'm able to support myself financially but I just feel like living pay check to pay check for at least the next 2 years is pretty depressing

Yes 3 bedrooms,, it was what I could afford comfortably many years ago. It's not in an expensive area
2nd room is used as office for WFH, office is over 1.5hours away so 3hr commute, so it's important I can WFH. If I went into the office every day it would cost me even more money and I can't move closer to work due to houses being more expensive than where I live already. There are one bedroom flats in abundance there, but for more than my house is worth
Like I said I have considered a lodger scenario. It just makes me nervous and they would need to be out of the house while I'm working due to the job I do, lots of sensitive information and phone calls. I don't think I would get £700pm for a spare room in this area, a 3 bed house can be rented for about £900/£1000.

You say you don't have any spare money but your mortgage is still on a low rate. You must be overspending somewhere.

Review your finances again and reduce what you can. Be honest about needs and wants and where your money is going. Check the cost of your broadband etc. Make sure your debt is as low cost as possible. Things will feel a lot better when you're out of debt.

Any money you can save will be a noticeable increase in disposable income. Have a look at moneysavingexpert.com and do everything that is relevant.

www.moneysavingexpert.com/family/money-help/

I can't just not pay my mortgage though and start paying into a pension

It is on a low rate, I've done a budget calculator, I'm careful with making sure my bills are as low as possible. Things have just gone up in price and I have had to spend on property maintenance. Years ago I had a partner who lived with me to share the bills (not the mortgage or maintenance on the house) and the bills were probably half of what they are now, I lived comfortably but not life of luxury even then. So basically I'm now paying for all bills on my own and they have all basically doubled, so I'm basically paying 4x what I was a few years ago.

I will be more comfortable when I'm out of debt as mortgage+debt are like 50% of my wages and then I've still got bills and food to pay for.
Basically when I'm out of debt and just paying the mortgage I'll have enough money to start saving/pension etc but it's going to be about 2 years until I can clear the non mortgage debt and it just feels like a long slog

I think you are doing really well on that income. Updating your home and car, managing a reasonable holiday each year. These are good things.
Maybe focus less on the debts snd more on the benefits from the loans. The nice car, good bathroom, reliable boiling, new carpets. Get pleasure from them.

Having a lodger is a good idea, though. A relative of mine took a lodger. The first one was lovely, just in the area whole they did some work training for 3 months. The second one was so nice they ended up staying whole my relative took a job abroad. Came home at Christmas to find the house in immaculate condition, a welcome home card and wine chilling. You get to choose who you live with. Price the room co.pwtitively and then you'll have a lot of choice and the lodger has incentive to stay on good terms with you.

Have you thought about remortgaging a bit, to clear the debt? Or consolodating it all into one loan? It might work out cheaper, or at least free up a bit more money for fun.

When I was getting out of debt, I read advice that you should set aside a small fixed amount of weekly income for fun. It changed my life. It may only be £20pw, but it's enough for a night at the cinema or pizza with a mate, or taking wine or flowers to a friend who invited you for dinner, and a swim next morning, or yoga class and coffee afterwards. I used to get a kick out of making it go as far as possible.

Your take home pay with no pension must be around £2600. If your mortgage and debt are 50%, where is the other £1300 going? Surely you must have some spare out of that for savings, and also paying into your employer pension?

I can't really remortgage for 4 years when my fixed deal comes to an end without doubling the interest rate and paying early redemption fee unfortunately
Half my debt is on loans, a cheaper interest rate than would be available now. The other half is on 0% credit cards

I'm trying to allow myself a bit of money for fun, probably £70 a month max on meals out etc and maybe a holiday a year about £700 (so £60 a month). So realistically about £130 on socialising/fun a month which I don't think is particularly wasteful. I have friends come over for dinner/coffee but I like to leave the house sometimes.

I think some of the lodger horror stories and having to live with a stranger just worries me.

Council tax
Broadband
SIM only phone contract
Gas and electric
Food
House maintenance (e.g replacing leaking radiators, usually something breaks everything few months that costs a few hundred pounds to fix or replace)
Car tax/servicing/mot
Petrol
Trains to work/parking
Water bills
Small amount of fun money around £130ish a month
Streaming services (not a huge amount of money in comparison to sky)

No not paying a pension

I could give up the fun money and the streaming services but in reality that would leave me stuck in the house with no entertainment alone and would maybe cut a couple of money off the 2 years it'll take to pay off my drbt

When I feel financially overwhelmed I have a finance meeting with myself, actually this has turned into a monthly habit which has been helpful to keep being accountable and been aware of what’s coming in and out. My advice:

plan out half a day finance meeting (can be fun in the pub with a wee wine)

list all of your debts and their interest rates against each then read Martin Lewis advice on debt repayment, effectively you want to be prioritising paying the debt with the highest interest attached. Transfer any credit card debt to an interest free credit card. Make a timeline of when the debt can be realistically paid off.

go through your bank statements and write down any unecessary spend. For me, this is picking up things whilst in Aldi middle aisle or takeaway coffee convenience, it’s surprisingly what it adds up to. Do you buy lunch during the week on lunch break or pack your own, things like this.

Your in a good position mortgage wise.

open a savings account, even if you chuck whatever you can in on payday, if it isn’t in your current account you won’t spend it.

What does 'swiming' mean?

How much is your mortgage per month? Could you increase the term of it to free up some money each month if you've only got 10 years left on it?
Not paying into a pension is absolute madness. You should be able to put something away from £40k a year and you'd save on tax as that comes off after your pension contributions.
I appreciate that living on your own isn't cheap. I did a table of outgoings recently and accounting for still paying the same amount of mortgage per person, and rounding up things like gas and electric to account for another person using hot water etc. I reckon I'm at least £300 a month worse off than if I lived with a partner. That's 10% of my gross income. It's hard with the cost of living going up faster than most people's salaries. I don't feel like my quality of life and holidays, car, home etc are any better than they were 20 years ago despite earning what appears to be a good salary on paper.

@Dandelion193Extending your mortgage term shouldn’t mean that you will lose your rate. There’s normally just a small fee or no fee at all to do so.

This may sound odd advice, but I would try very hard NOT to think about money so much.

Get it all sorted in one big session (maybe over a day or two): do an annual budget, check for good deals on bills, get everything onto monthly direct debits or standing orders, get a weekly online food shop set up, etc.
Assess your wardrobe and look for gaps - can you go a year without buying clothes? List any very specific things you need.
As part of the budget, work out exactly how much you will be allowing yourself as "spending" money each week (socialising, coffees, treats, hobbies, top-up shops etc.) Make it realistically modest so there is a margin built in.

Then all you need to monitor and think about is that weekly spending limit.
Don't think about all the rest of it for a year.

Instead, think about your career, relationships, hobbies, anything else that is important in your life.
If you find yourself thinking about money again, deliberately stop and make yourself concentrate on something else.

It might feel like a backward step, but is it worth remortgaging, extending the term and potentially adding your debt on to your mortgage? It will cost you more overall, but would give you some breathing space now.

Better to have a stranger as a lodger than a friend. This ought to be a business arrangement. Having a friend move in could potentially lead to all sorts of complications.

we had lodgers for at least 4 years. I reckon we paid off the mortgage at least 10 years early as a result.

How old are you OP, you haven’t said? That’ll also impact possible options.

not to add to your stress but defo pay into your pension. Absolute madness not to at your age. Lodger and pension.

any scope for a better paying job?

Mid 30s

Nope in regards to any chance of increasing my salary, I've lucked out at getting this one at 40k realistically if I tried to look for another job it's far more likely I'd get around £30k, no chance of progression

Side hustle? Everyone’s doing it

If you're in your mid thirties you're doing really well.

It just makes me nervous and they would need to be out of the house while I'm working due to the job I do, lots of sensitive information and phone calls. I don't think I would get £700pm for a spare room in this area

Sorry this is absolute nonsense and even if true not insurmountable.
I wfh with my dh every day we both have "sensitive information". I have friend who is a psychoherapist who wfh with a spouse also wfh.

You don't HAVE to use the 3rd bedroom as your office. You could easily work out of your dining room if you wanted to or convsrt that to a bedroom. (I'm taking a guess you have a standard 3 bed semi)
So you could when have 2 lodgers if you wanted.
You just dont want to.

In my book: if you have an asset and you need to, you leverage it.

I made the compromise to share my home for 8 years... and it's one of the key reasons I can afford the lifestyle and nice home I have today.
We'd have a lodger / student/ whatever in our house now if it wasn't for having small kids.

you have an easy answer you just don't like it and so want to make lame excuses instead of trying to find a way to make it work.

Extend your mortgage when you remortgage and pay in then. I didn't pay my pension in my 35-45 and I am fucked. Worse financial decision ever.

I'm not saying in insurmountable, but you don't get to say it's not true about me being nervous about a stranger living with me.
If I had someone I knew lodging with me it wouldn't be something I'd worry about so much, my bills would go up, what if they don't pay, I need to kick them out, what if they kick off, get aggressive or whatever. What if they want to stay up until 1am listening to music, break stuff, bring over partners etc. I can see many potential issues and it may not be worth £500 a month for the stress. I'd have to spend money to get their bedroom furnished in the first place
Luke I said I'm not in dire straits, but I feel rubbish about the fact I'm living pay check to pay check when I've tried to do things the right way. I've always worked, I've not been going on £5000 holidays and getting £30000 cars on finance.
Good for you that you managed to find a way and it doesn't bother you having lodgers, but there's no need to look down on me just because I worry about when things could go wrong

*you’re looking.
she has 10 years left on the mortgage??? How is that extremely unreasonable?