For the mums who went back to work when their kids were 1-2 years old, did you have to?

[Watermocha]

When your kids were 1 or 2 years old, did you have to go back to work because you financially couldn’t afford to stay at home or did you go back so you don’t sacrifice your career progression/ job benefits?

And with the huge childcare expense was it overall worth it?

I had the opportunity to go part time and didn’t want to pass it up as I knew it was unlikely to come up again (and it didn’t, unfortunately, for others who applied after me). I kept reminding myself I was thinking long term.
it was ultimately worth it and my now older primary children have more opportunities because of our joint income.

I didn't need to financially, but for many other reasons I chose to. Had the luxury of choosing to go PT though, so felt it was the best of both worlds.

I went back when they were 1, but only part-time. We could have scraped by on DH's wage, but the organisation I work at is a place that people would give their right arm to work at and I knew if I left I would only have a miniscule chance of ever getting a job there again!

I never saw myself being a full time mum. Yes, I love my kids and couldn’t imagine life without being a mum but I didn’t enjoy maternity leave or spending days on end with them.

Didn’t need to but didn’t occur to me not to. I had worked hard to get to my level of seniority, I returned after 8 months off. Childcare bill each month was so much, it was equivalent to our mortgage payment but it’s only for a few years. In the meantime I maintained my pension contributions; looking back I’m thankful for the decisions made and I have no regrets.

DC is now a teen and in many respects needs me more. As a baby/toddler, he needed a loving carer but it didn’t need to be me. Now as a hormonal teen, with all that encompasses and with GCSEs looming on the horizon, I have been able to take a step back from work in my early 50s (I was an older mum) and be available more.

I was so bored at home with a toddler, I craved adult conversation.

I wanted to because I enjoy my job and I'm good at it.

My DDs were born early 2000’s I had to return to work as we needed the money. With my eldest I got 4 months mat leave, I worked five evenings a week so dh and I split care. With my second I got 6 months mat leave and started working Saturday and Sunday with dh doing week days. When dd was 1 I set up a childcare business so after that I worked mon-Fri but had my kids too.

I didn't really think about not going back. I enjoyed my job, had good friends who also went back after children.
Now my kids are teens I have a long established career and the fact I continued means now I can be far more flexible , as I have been able to throughout their childhood than I would if I had had years out and had to more or less start from scratch as many of my sahm friends had to, with retraining etc. Also I feel far more financially secure knowing that I'm not just relying on DH for everything. We have both been made redundant at one time or another and it's not a complete disaster because the other is still working. Also as mentioned by @poppyfleur, once your kids are older you start looking at your pensions...

Apart from taking a shared parental leave, I never stopped working. Was it worth it despite the huge childcare cost? Yes. My career has progressed (albeit stagnated for a little bit during toddlerhood years). My current pension projection (state and employers pension) has met the minimum amount for a single person retirement living standards. So I am going to be fine in old age no matter what happens. We can afford many extracurricular activities, holidays abroad, short breaks in UK and save regularly for our only child. If I could turn back the time, would I choose differently? Definitely not. It was and is the right choice. I thank my lucky star that our child does not have any SEN or require 24h care. Things would have been different if this were the case.

Yes because I was the main salary earner so DH became a SAHD which was quite unusual in the early 90s. We didn't want to put DS in childcare so that was the only option. I'd already taken some unpaid leave on top of maternity leave as we'd saved for that situation.
Worked brilliantly but I have to say I was a little jealous because I did miss out a bit on DS growing up. I went down to four days a week as soon as feasible. Obviously working from home as we know it now didn't exist but I did manage to do a few days a month at home which was helpful.

I went back when DD was six weeks old…. This was nearly 40 yrs ago and a combination of bad timing ( I qualified in my career when I was 8 month pregnant and maternity leave was ‘sparse’ in those days). I wish I had been able to stay home with her but I was a single mum and I needed to work!

I went back out of career and opportunity over need to earn- it was well worth it as i kept my independence was able to leave my ex

Went back- 1 year dd1 and 2 days a week at 6 months dd2

Also being on mat leave was boring- just needed mental stimulation

Yes I had to
for my own sanity and to set a good example to my kids.

It was worth going back for my career 2 days a week so i don’t have that break on my CV. Baby was with DH so didn’t do nursery until 3

DH went part time

With my first baby I went back full time after 9mths. I wish I’d taken longer but we had applied for a mortgage that required me to evidence full time wages. In the end the sale was delayed so I could have stayed off for the full year ☹️.

With the second I took 13mths off and needed to go back full time due to the childcare costs for two kids. My partner started a self employed role in addition to his main job and then another 3 employments to pay for the nursery fees. It’s hard work but he never complains. Nursery fees just keep going up and up and I cannot wait until the youngest is in school (sept 2026) when we will hopefully be a bit more secure financially as only wraparound care to pay for then.

I wouldn’t have wanted to stay at home as I like having my own income and career, but I’d really love to be part time. Unfortunately we can’t afford for me to do that in the near future.

I went back for financial reasons but also because I wanted to. There is no way I would be a good stay at home mum 24/7/365

With 1 and 2 I went back to work because I had to. I'd have absolutely jacked my job in if I could have.

With dc3, several years later, I chose to go back after 15 months leave (12 maternity, 3 accrued holidays). I didn't have to and I have no great love of my job (it's fine). But by that time I think I'd matured enough to realise the value of a career without big gaps, the pension contributions, the stability and security it brings.

I wouldn't be a SAHM and 100% dependent on DH's income even if he earned £1m per annum. And DH is the best man I know so there's no particular 'concerns' I have. But, no.

We could have managed without but I have a career I enjoy so I went back.

childcare was astronomical but I. The long run very much worth it.

I went back when they were four and five months respectively pt using nursery and didn’t really need to work. It maintained my sanity, the power balance in our marriage and my career. They’re now 22 and 20 and never ever a single regret. All bonded just fine and my pension looks great.

I went back because it would have wrecked my career progression and earning potential to have a few years out. I would have had to go through a return to practice period for pre-registration with my professional body and probably would not have got a job at the level I was at after this. I spoke to a couple of colleagues who had teenagers at the time and they both said that although the first 6-7 years were hard work, they were very grateful now that they still had their careers as their kids got older. I am also lucky as I genuinely enjoy my job.

I also didn't want to be completely reliant on DH as the sole earner. Having seen SAHP friends have to cope with separation, divorce and redundancy I am increasingly glad that I have maintained my financial independence (as well as continued with my pension contributions).

HOWEVER, my youngest is 10 so childcare was considerably cheaper than it is now. My employer has always been able to accommodate my flexible working requests and my parents have kindly provided us with 1 day a week of childcare since I returned so we have been incredibly fortunate to have the choice to do this! Everyone's circumstances are different and you can only do what's right for your family at that time.

Needed to here, I would have preferred part time but it's not affordable as yet.

With DD I worked 3 days a week it was a good balance. With DS, I hope when I move up the next pay band (pending qualification this summer) I'll be able to drop a day.

I did take a little time out with DD following a move to new area, I hated not working, so I know I'd have gone back regardless just would have liked part time.

Childcare costs this time round have been horrific, £1500 at their highest with blue light discounts and a couple of early collect days. We wound up moving DS to a term time nursery and immediately saved 700+. It means lots of separate annual leave to cover holidays, and thankfully MIL is happy to visit for a week or two in the summer to help.

I didn’t ’have to’ but like others on this thread it was the least risky option. I wanted to be able to provide for myself and my children in the case of my husband’s redundancy/illness/divorce/death. And I like my job.
Many years and more children later I have no regrets.
Work doesn’t just give me money (which has been great for future security/good holidays/bigger house) it gives me lots of social contact and also is part of my identity that makes me who I am. And it sets realistic expectations for my children that you should aim to earn your own money in a job that suits you.