For the mums who went back to work when their kids were 1-2 years old, did you have to?

[Watermocha]

When your kids were 1 or 2 years old, did you have to go back to work because you financially couldn’t afford to stay at home or did you go back so you don’t sacrifice your career progression/ job benefits?

And with the huge childcare expense was it overall worth it?

I went back PT, 3 days and swapped to the public sector (I’m a solicitor) so it was less demanding. There’s less progression and pay but it’s meant I’ve been able to achieve a better work life balance and although I’ve stagnated I’ve atleast maintained my skill set. I’m contributing extra to my pension.

DH was happy for me to stay home and we could afford it, but I like financial freedom and I have always wanted to maintain my independence incase DH and I spilt (we’re very happy but this is something I’ve always felt strongly about).

I sometimes wish I’d taken some more time off, but now I have more post qualification experience I’ve been able to do consultancy and I am almost at my old FT salary doing PT work.

I have toyed with the idea of having a break for so long that I’ve missed the chance - my youngest starts school in September. I do half hope my current contract ends, it keeps getting extended. Because then I’d just have the next 5months off I think - although that said I’d probably get itchy feet and take another…

I went back after 3 months with each of mine (that was how long maternity leave was then).
I did have to, as we needed my income to pay the bills, but, even if we hadn't 'needed' to, I still think I would have done.
Far more fulfilled as a person, plus of course I now have a pension. Plus it always meant we were equal partners in our relationship. Over the years, having two incomes has meant we have been able to afford more than if we'd only had one. Plus, I enjoyed a lot of my career, and feel {cheesy moment coming up} that I've contributed something to the world (or at least the many, many families I've worked with) over the years, whilst also bringing up my dc.

It never crossed my mind to stop working, in the same way my DH probably never considered stopping work after we had a child.

I loved my 12 months of maternity leave and I guess we could live off one salary but don't really want to.

I didn’t need to, we could cover our basics with my DHs salary. But I did need to work to be able to give our DCs the standard of living and experiences that we want them to have, and also to be able to save for their futures which is important to us.

I didn't have to. We had paid off our mortgage (although now we'd like to move and have another mortgage!). The plan was to be a SAHM. It was when I was on maternity leave that I realised it isn't that great. I decided to go back part-time. This is the ideal for me - days off with my boy, and days at work to keep my foot in the door. I was very lucky to have family help with childcare, they still do. DS started a bit of nursery at 2 and has just started going 3 days a week now he's 3. With the free hours it is only costing us £140 per month.

Went back at roughly 3 months both times - didn't need to financially but I've built up a successful business with employees and no way was I going to give that up.

I went back at 8 months both times but part time (26 hours)

I went back as I am very risk averse and earning money felt the least risky option. I think if i had inherited a load of money i would have stayed home as my preferred choice.

I wanted to preseve/build my career and I wanted to keep a pension and I didn't like the thought of not having my own income as I had been earning money since I was 14.

I'm not sure it was worth it. I got made redundant 5 years on (not due to being part time, the whole lot of us went) the pension earned from that period would have easily been covered by my DH paying in, instead of him paying his half of the childcare fees. We were all stressed.

The only thing I will never know is if I had just had a career gap of 5 years, would I have got the job I got after redundancy which has worked really well for me (term time only admin), or if it would have only gone to someone with current experience like I had.

I went back, I had to. I got excellent maternity pay - full pay for 6 months and full bonus. Then you're moved to statutory, but it comes with a condition, you have to go back to work for a minimum of 6months otherwise you have to repay it.

So i did 6months on full pay, month 7 was bonus (around 3 months pay in one go), months 8, 9 & 10 - I got statutory. Months 11 & 12 I got no pay.

I think it's a clever clause really, once you get over the initial wrench of going back, you settle into a routine. When I came to re-evaluate whether I wanted to continue after 6months, I did. DC was settled in a lovely nursery and I felt like I had some identity back.

Now DC is off to school, I'm glad I'm not trying to get a job after being out of industry for almost 5yrs.

It's been hard but every time my marriage has hit a rough patch (as marriages do) I've always been grateful that I wasn't financially dependent on my husband. I've gone to bed more than once thinking - well I could leave if I wanted to - by morning it's all forgotten and done with but I've often thought, how much worse a situation or an argument might have felt if I didn't have options.

But that's just my personality I guess. Stomping upstairs to do some 'rage rightmoving' can feel very cathartic when you're in the middle of a row.

I was earning 180k at the time I gave birth so it would have been crazy not to go back to work. I will retire as soon as I have enough money to secure the future of my DS which will be before he starts secondary school.

Well I guess I could’ve stayed at home but, yes, I was concerned about pension contributions. I took full mat leave both times (12 months + 1 accrued holiday). Both toddlers went to a childminder local to school I work in. I knew the nursery staff in my school would tell me the best CM. She only took teachers’ children! 😂 She was utterly brilliant and we are still in touch.

First baby - had to go back when he was 7m old as husband lost job and had only been there for short time and I was at the time SE contracting so earning well
Second baby - was working full time employed at this point and had 2 under 2 so didn't go back as hated the job, long commute and childcare would have taken so much. Did work a few nights a week for extra money
Third baby - was planning on going back to SE contracting but got job offer at place I'd worked for years previously and they agreed 3 days a week
Fourth baby - still in same job, went back 3 days a week. Now she's in school do 4 days

Glad I stayed in a job. Think 3 days was the ideal when they were in childcare. Still took up a huge whack of income but 2 days at home with them.
The brief period I didn't work with my 2nd child was pretty miserable. Husband could cover bills etc but very little left over no holidays or treats. I was lucky to have lots of contact with my previous workplace which I'd left pre babies and never burnt my bridges so they contacted me about a job

I didn't have to but it has made my life more financially comfortable. I was worried about pensions. I was also utterly bored being a sahm for 3 years after my first dc so went back when my second was 8 months as a good work opportunity came up.

Never thought about not going back as knew life would be more expensive with DC. Went pt for first few years though then full time. Would've loved to not have to work but unless partner earns a lot nonother option. Xx

I went back to work because I wanted to, but also because I was leaving ds' dad and needed to return to my career to provide for us. DS was 2y2m

It was the best thing for both of us. We were able to escape and ds went to a lovely childminder who has remained a friend from the last decade.

Yes and no - with our first I had the choice. Though I was only in my early twenties and hadn’t really established a career at that point and I was worried taking a huge break would affect it - especially as I was then made redundant (company closed) It was tough as 20 years ago little financial support and for 2 years earned very little once paid childcare and petrol costs. Then the 3 year old funding helped a little. With our second both husband and I on the same salary we had a conversation whether one of us would stay at home or both work. We both decided to continue working and ensure we shared drop offs/sick days. And have always prioritised our children special days and both been present.

It has meant we could support our eldest with learning to drive, help buy her a car, support at uni and will do the same for our second. I have good number years of pension saved and earn a decent salary and continue to save for retirement.

Financially I’m glad I have worked for my own independence. BUT if either of my children were affected and needed either of us, one of us would have either gone PT or left work. We ensured we never overstretched ourselves and if needed mortgage could be covered by one of us and we would work out the rest as needed!

Didn’t have to, and it made me a little sad at the time, but it was an important investment in my own career and also ensured equality between me and DH. Love him to pieces, but I never wanted to be financially dependent on him or any man.

Better for my prospects and earning potential and better for my marriage.

And the kids are fine!

6 month baby
full time

need the money

Yes, I went back to work at 6 months. I did need to because I can’t imagine not financially contributing to the household, it just would not work for me at all.

No choice - I was working overseas, had six weeks maternity leave and my ex left. My parents were horrified and didn’t want me back in the UK. I was sleepwalking for the first year and then it was ok.

I had to, to pay the bills. Went back to work full time when dd1 was 9 months, and when dd2 was 10 months. I did compressed hours, which is hard going, but saved on nursery fees.

I'd love to work part time so much.

I had no choice financially, but I would have chosen to anyway. I’d worked in recruitment for years and had seen that you don’t just take a few years out of the workforce and then expect to pick up where you left off!

Didn't have to but it was the right thing for my family in the long term. I want to be able to support them as adults too.

I went back when my first was exactly 1yr and when my second was 9 months. I’m the main breadwinner by a distance, but we could manage on husbands salary if I went part time (2days a week). However I wanted to work more than that so went FT to move on with my career - I’m a solicitor and hadn’t long qualified when I had my first, and having spent so much money and time training I wanted to keep moving. It was definitely worth it as my salary has more than doubled since I had my first mat leave and my pension will be healthier for it. I also always knew I didn’t want to be SAHM - no disrespect to anyone who chooses it, but it’s just not for me and being financially independent is a big deal for me.

First child, went to college when they were 12 months old and they went to the college nursery (I was 16 with first child and 99% of people in my generation have college or a level qualifications so would of been over for me if I hadn't)
Second child went back to work after 12 months but part time just to keep myself in the job for the future

Edit because forgot to say maybe we could of survived on DHs wage but it would of been tight and I think keeping your foot in the career door is important tbh