AIBU - Money

[HRHPRINCESSOFFLUFF]

My parents are wealthy and started off loading cash a few years ago to avoid IHT, all legal as tax free gifts of £3000 etc. However I’ve recently found out (my mother told me) that the tax free gifts my parents are legally allowed to give away each year are being split 3 ways between me, my sister and my now 20 year old nephew, my sisters son. I said to my parents that I’m not happy as my sister’s side of the family are getting twice as much as me, but it falls on deaf ears. For context, my partner and I do everything for my parents whereas my sister and her partner and their son see them very briefly once or twice a year and are oblivious to their advancing years and additional needs that I and my partner deal with on a regular basis. AIBU to be annoyed, should a 20 year old in college be given thousands of pounds? He will have zero work ethic at this rate?

Well he is their grandchild so they must want to help him and tbf is he a separate person your Dsis.
However probably fairer if it was split 50/50 then your Dsis can pass on an amount as she wants.
Or maybe give you and your Dsis a bigger share so 40/40/20 split. But ultimately up to them.
Do they have any other DGC?
I think they should treat all DGC equally, assume you don't have any DC. Is this likely to change in the future, ie future DGC may not have same advantages.
Looking after elderly parents can be a huge commitment and time consuming, but it doesn't necessarily follow you will be financially rewarded thou, often the absent child, one that does least appears to be the favourite (particularly if a son!)
You either accept it as your parents wishes or gently and calmly express how you feel and maybe your parents will change it in the future .
I don't think it will necessarily ruin DGC work ethic, it's very hard to get on property ladder, live independently, support yourself through college or uni if living away from home so hopefully DGC will put the money to sensible use - with a few treats.
But I think your feelings are valid.

Their money & completely their choice. Be grateful for anything you are getting & let it be.

It is their money to do with as they please. I wouldn't be kicking up a fuss for £500 a year. If you are unhappy and think it is not fair, stop helping them. You obviously see it as transactional rather than voluntary, so if it doesn't work for you, don't do it.

I’m sure you’d be just as disgruntled if someone was telling you what to do with your money.

This, why do you think you get a say in their spending of their own money?

If you don’t want to help your parents, don’t.

I don’t see how the money they choose to give to their grandson is anything to do with you.

Where did you get £500 from?

How much you talking then? If not £500?

£3k / 2 = £1500
£3k / 3 = £1000 so there's a £500 difference. The allowance is £3k per annum.

Of course they can gift as much as they wish on top of this, but it won't be exempt if it is from capital, unless they use IHT403 via the income route. Although it is academic if they survive for more than seven years post gifting.

It’s their money @HRHPRINCESSOFFLUFF they can do what they like, why are you denying your nephew some help. What effect does it ACTUALLY have on YOU?

Do you have children who aren’t getting any money while the other grand children are?

Are you saying they are giving £3k to you, £3k to sister and £3k nephew?

The inheritance tax rule is for £3k in total not per recipient. Your DM and DF can gift 3k each so you could be each getting 2k a year. It’s hardly going to make your nephew work shy is it.

It's actually their choice, not yours. They can only gift £3k per year, so it's peanuts. Their best way of gifting is by doing so monthly from unspent income if that applies - no limits.

how your parents use their gift allowance is entirely up to them.
If you are really unhappy about this then stop helping them out- clearly this would be a very mean spirited and petty approach but the choice is yours.

You and your sister are getting treated exactly them same
there grandson is totally different if they want to give there grandson money it’s nothing to do with you

Do you have children?

This is one of the more grabby posts I've seen recently.

You come across as really ungrateful - if they want to help their grandson they can do. If they want to give more away then they could do so without telling you.

Some mean responses on this thread. I understand why the OP is upset about this. The fair thing to do is to split the money between her and her sister and then her sister can give as much of her share to her kid as she likes.

Don’t be so mean and grabby.

It is normal for grandparents to want to support their grandchildren.

all legal as tax free gifts of £3000 etc

That's 3000 per gifter not reveiver

Annual exemption
You can give away a total of £3,000 worth of gifts each tax year without them being added to the value of your estate. This is known as your ‘annual exemption’.

You can give gifts or money up to £3,000 to one person or split the £3,000 between several people.

We’re talking 1-2k here not huge amounts, it’s not exactly going to mean he doesn’t have to work hard. I think it’s nice they’re looking after their grandchild too, at his age he needs the money more, house prices are a lot higher for his generation then they used to be when your generation was buying, he needs the help.

My mum is paying to help nephew through Uni as am I but I did express my unhappiness when the idea of her will being 1/3 me , 1/3 brother and 1/3 between his two kids. I uprooted my life and moved to support her during decline and death of my dad and I’m the one who does everything like sorting her bills etc. I couldn’t carry a child to full term and my niece and nephew will inherit my estate so it felt really hurtful - she agreed and changed it back.

In principle I agree with you but it's their money so you should stop complaining.

I bet your parents are really pleased that you are deciding how they should be spending their money. It sounds like you are the grabby one here.