Is there a fair way to split this money or is it going to cause a fall out?

[Sourwitch]

A couple get together in 2000, let’s call them Harry & Sally and they got married (both in their early 70’s now)

Harry moved in to Sallys house

Harry has two adult daughters from a previous relationship and Sally has two adult sons.

Grandchildren on both sides.

Both worked until about 2012 and took early retirement.

In about 2012, Harry came in to some money (inheritance) that was worth more than the value of Sallys house, say £150,000 and they used that money to upgrade the house (new kitchen, bathroom and roof) buy a brand new car each, go on expensive holidays, such as the Caribbean several times, cruises, Las Vegas, Dubai and staying in expensive hotels and basically enjoining their retirement and spending the money he (they) came in to. It enabled them to take early retirement too.

There is no capital left now as it’s been spent over the years on the above.

If they were doing their wills, should the house go to Sally’s sons and nothing for Harry’s daughters, because the house was hers to begin with and only in her name and she’d paid off a lot of the mortgage before they met.

Or should it be split between both Harry and Sallys adult children, because Harry brought more money in to the relationship than Sally, but because it wasn’t in bricks and motor it was all spent on their joint pleasure. Sally absolutely benefited from the lump sum and the hosue was upgraded.

I think the house will be earmarked for Sallys children, however I think Harry’s children will have something to say about it. I can see a family feud brewing…..

(I’m none of the above)

What would you suggest is the solution?

I think whatever happens someone will be pissed off.

I absolutely agree. I can see it unfolding now though I’m not directly involved. I know I’m going to be asked for an opinion

Given how long they were married the fair way is for both families to inherit surely?

We had a similar situation (but with lower amounts) and my Mum left her house to me with her partner able to live there. Its a mess for a variety of reasons but he did live rent free for 20 years and nobody asked him to pay for holidays etc.
His daughter does think half should have gone to him and then her but tough

It's a marriage with 4 children.
Unless there are overwhelming reasons to favour any particular child or children, like one has considerable long term disability or one has done exceptionally well and wants for nothing while the others could all use the money, it should be equally divided between all 4.

Surely it’s up to the two who are writing wills to decide. Not the Op? So why ask?

Always one 🙄

Harrys children get the value of the improvements (new kitchen, bathroom and roof) adjusted for inflation (but not holidays and cars etc), Sallys children get the remaining value of the house today, the rest of the estate is split equally if appropriate. Sallys jewellery and personal belongings go to her children, Harry’s to his.

If they've been together and sharing finances and life for 25 years, I think everything is "theirs" and should be split between all the children.

I don't think a partnership is all about money and if they've been important to each other and generally supportive, worked on the house together etc, it doesn't matter what each had 25years ago imo.

I would say the fairest thing would be an equal split.
I fundamentally disagree with the idea that if for example, one child or grandchild has done ‘exceptionally well’ they should not receive anything. They may have done exceptionally well through hard graft, taking risks etc. Very divisive to start ‘rewarding’ those who made different decisions, perhaps chose not to work as hard.

In fairness I'd say it should be split but it depends how Harry feels and what he said/arranged with his wife - if he happily chose to spend all his money on them both with no expectation of return via the house then that's his choice.

They are married it’s the marital home and both have put an even amount in so it should be split 4 ways

Harry should get legal advice about the fact that the house should partly be his.

Sally should recognise that if she wanted the house to remain for her children she shouldn’t have gotten married and allowed Harry to fund it via his inheritance

I think after that amount of time it should be an equal spilt

Does Sally still own the house in her sole name? Harry was a bit of a fool if she does....

Equal split

Also this should have been decided long ago and definitely before the inheritance was spent benefiting both.

Not 100% sure but I have a feeling it’s in her name only

They are married, its a marital asset.
They need legal advice to make sure their wishes are carried out when one of them dies

Whatever the decision is, the pitfall is that the surviving partner changes things.

E.g. do mirror wills leaving everything to each other with it being split 4 ways on the 2nd death. Harry (for example) inherits with every intention of leaving it in line with Sally' wishes. Then he remarries, is with new wife 10 years, he leaves everything to her and then it all goes to her kids....Or he doesn't remarry, Sally's kids don't have much to do with him in his final years so he leaves it all to his own DC.

They’re married so it’s all irrelevant really

That's irrelevant for inheritance, only divorce. If Sally owns it, it's hers to leave in her will as she sees fit.

It's a joint asset after so long and him spending his inheritance on both of them ( that by the way sounds a bit irresponsible to have blown it all) leaving it to the other partner for their lifetime but in trust for all 4 children.

Harry has significantly increased the value of Sally's house. If I was Harry's children I'd be expecting this to be recognised in a will. How it's recognised depends on the value of the house when they married and how much Harry invested in the house. I'd be starting at 50/50 unless the house was worth significantly more than his investment.

What capital did Harry bring to the marriage initially when they got together? Presumably if he was divorced from his children’s’ mother he must have had something. What happened to that money?

Any money spent on holidays, cars etc is gone. The money invested in upgrading the house is gone.

I think Harry’s daughters have a bitter pill to swallow. Their dad spent his inheritance. There is no inheritance for them.

So often this happens the other way round where the woman’s money is spent on the everyday and the man’s money pays for the bricks and mortar. When the inevitable happens (if not married) then she is left with nothing.

I'm struggling to understand why/who would be upset by an equal split here?