The worlds going mad. Am I really part of the problem?

[DHofSB]

Ok, so there’s a lot of talk about the rich, global politics and inequality at the minute and I get it. However, when I look at comments, threads etc people seem to be aiming blame and sometimes hate to people that sound like me.
My real concern, apart from my own sensitivities of course, is for my kids seemingly growing up in a world where being successful is seen as bad and there being little to no desire to strive and work hard any more.

Allow me to explain but I would like your thoughts…

Father was a policeman, mother a part time hairdresser, they’ve been divorced 15+ years now and both retired
No family money or inheritance involved for them, unlikely for me either
Went to normal comp school
I joined the Army at 18
BUT (bear with me, trying to make point not boast)
I now earn £500k+ a year in a white collar job
I have £1m+ in stocks (that I can’t sell yet)
I have a £950k house with no mortgage
My 2 kids go to private school (with VAT will cost similar to our house over their school lives)
My wife doesn’t (have to) work
I have c£90k pension pot (not a viable saving option for me due to my income, anything over £4k a year into pension I have to pay income tax on hence pointless)
AND YET
I don’t feel wealthy, we have a good life (several parents at the school our kids go to have £2.5m houses, how is that possible??!)
I paid hundreds of thousands in tax last year but my family don’t use the NHS (private through work), or the school system, no benefits/welfare etc Obviously other aspects of public infrastructure we do or would consume: roads, policing etc
I work hard and long to ensure I continue to provide for my family, especially once I inevitably stop earning this kind of salary

Modern society seems to suggest I am the devil, part of the problem with society and should be taxed (even more) heavily. Surely what my family and I have built for ourselves is a good thing and something I would expect most people to have wanted to achieve coming from a similar background, or do I have this all wrong?..

Exactly! I can't believe you actually think you're not wealthy.

Actually I’m both shocked and silently pleased to see this. Success, wealth and happiness are not interchangeable synonyms and your post demonstrates that comparison is the thief of joy.

I earn 10% of your salary, live in a 3-bed social housing, my children attend state school and thriving. What matters most is that they are healthy, happy and well-grounded. We value time, cherish our friends and family, and feel successful at life. We have some savings but don’t squander money nor covet what others have. Today we’ve been spending time as a family, enjoying the weather and a cycle in the park with a picnic lunch. Eldest is currently making waffle cake before we head out to a restaurant for a Mother’s Day meal.

I’d honestly choose my life over yours, than have your wealth, health, success - and misery. And I’m glad I have happiness. Seriously, your life sounds miserable; perhaps reflecting on yourself and your life is a good place to start. Remember, we are models for our children and surely you’d not want them to be echoing your gripes in years to come.

Stop it. Its not you people are on about. Its the people paying themselves millions while paying their workers £35000 and complaining about rising wages.

I'm sure this is true, although my private insurance is a US employer-based international policy, so not sure it's affected either way by the existence of the NHS. I'm not arguing that the NHS shouldn't exist or that there's a particularly better system, although I would be happy, as someone who could afford to be charged, if they were to introduce a sliding scale for care. I'd certainly be happier to be paying more money into that system than to the health insurance system.

I was simply replying to the assertion that it's not possible to have fully private care. I think many people don't realise the density of private options in London, anyway. Off the top of my head, the things that friends and family have been treated for completely privately in recent years, include cancer, ruptured appendix, sepsis, a heart attack, joint replacement, cellulitis and a shattered cheekbone/eye socket. Yes, there are instances where private wouldn't be possible, but many people could go from birth to death without using the NHS.

Look, there’s only so hard a human being can work.

Very long hours - let’s say start at 7am and keep working until 8/9pm? Doctors would laugh. So would teachers.
Difficult decisions? How difficult? Will someone die or will some rich person/company lose 0.5% off share prices? Carers earn minimum wage and make sure people stay alive.
Intellectually difficult? Step forward, university professors, astrophysicists, brain surgeons. Earning £500k pa in the UK? Didn’t think so.

There’s no justification for very high salaries. There really isn’t. Why should a footballer earn £285m per year for kicking a ball around? It’s ludicrous. Cristiano Ronaldo isn’t working particularly hard for that, he’s just lucky enough to be talented in an extremely lucrative sport. If he’d been an Olympic shot putter he wouldn’t be a millionaire.

I’m sure you work hard, but so do most people, and most people don’t earn £500k a year for their efforts. Maybe try a little humility instead of moaning that people don’t appreciate you.

I don't think you've done anything wrong at all, and you should be congratulated on your success. But you should also be taxed more.

And you should stop moaning about not feeling wealthy and realise how incredibly fortunate you are.

And sorry - didn't mean to derail the thread.

We live in a similar environment and, while there are always going to be people with more, I'm not really familiar with the villainising of success you mention. I'm certainly aware of growing inequalities in society and the unhappiness people (rightly) feel around that, and I don't resent paying into a system that is intended to provide for the good of society. Everyone should be entitled to medical care, housing, education and opportunity.

Quite.

You provided a very detailed summary of your finances etc, @DHofSB , but I missed how much of your good fortune - because this is what it is! - you are donating to charities?

There’s nothing wrong with success or being rich (and yes, you really are wealthy). The problem is two-fold: firstly, that other people are so much poorer than you through no fault of their own; and secondly, the attitude of some people that rich people are rich because they worked hard or really wanted it, whereas conversely poor people are poor because they’re lazy and can’t be arsed.

A lot of your success is luck. Broaden your outlook and find out more about being a single parent working very hard, still needing top-up benefits, and struggling to make ends meet. Imagine living on £18 or £20k a year - and then tell me that you don’t feel wealthy!

You’re not the devil. You just don’t appreciate how fortunate you are or spend enough time thinking about the millions of adults and children struggling.

I suspect that your premium would go up regardless of the origin of the policy because you are using health services in the UK that are a lot cheaper than they otherwise would be.

But regardless, you keep saying that it’s possible to have fully private healthcare in the UK. It really isn’t. I don’t doubt the range of private healthcare that is available (nothing on your list surprised me), nor that some will go their whole lives without using services directly provided by the NHS. But you miss the point which is that the entire private healthcare ecosystem in the U.K. relies on the existence of the NHS. Not just for A&E, which in and of itself means that private healthcare is massively cheaper than it otherwise would be, but also the training that is provided by the NHS to the clinical staff working privately, the research undertaken by the NHS, and of course the NHS care given directly to the staff of private healthcare facilities who can’t afford to access it themselves.

Just because the hospital you go to has ‘Little Lord Fauntleroy’s Hospital For The Rich - No Riff Raff Allowed’ written on the door doesn’t mean that you don’t use the NHS. You use it without even directly using it. We all do.

Perhaps his kids' private school has charitable status?

See now I earn about 10% of what you do, I live in a very expensive city but I am very happy with my life and feel lucky, possibly not wealthy exactly but I don't think a higher income would make me much happier. A folk tale for you, see if you can figure out the moral:

@DHofSB "so who’s buying this stuff?"

billionaires I guess.

you're proving my point. You don't appreciate your wealth. Give me £100 and I'd cry with appreciation. I'll grant you I'm not going hungry and there are worthier causes but I was the first to ask!

being successful is seen as bad and there being little to no desire to strive and work hard any more

I can’t lie, this doesn’t sit well in the sense that it implies that those who achieve less or simply aren’t successful are not hard workers.

Other than that, you’re overthinking it and losing sight of just how wealthy you are because you’re looking at wealthier. There’s always going to be someone wealthier. And of course you should be taxed, you can afford it.

I suspect they're paying for a top private school...

I think it's the disparities that cause resentment. Two full time working parents on £24k each can't fund a roof over their head, heating and food these days. They work hard too. With the increase in household bills, often due to privatisation, so shareholders can increase their wealth, it's left life very unfair and frankly intolerable for some. Just because you had opportunities to progress please don't assume everyone does. I work with a lot of women who have post grad qualifications but earning just over minimum wage in full time jobs. I think the current statistic is still one in three dc live in poverty in this country.

When you have a major stroke / heart attack, then the accident & emergency department (that you think you don’t use) will be where you are taken. Extremely low-paid NHS workers (who you think you don’t use) will inject you with anticoagulants or re-start your heart with a defibrillator.

When one of your children crashes their car on the road, a low-paid (compared to you) fireman will use expensive cutting gear to get them out. A low-paid (compared to you) ambulance crew will treat your child at the scene.

Your problem, as a previous poster has pointed out, is that you are paid far, far too much for what you do, and you do not appreciate it. You have more than enough but you want yet more. You should put your phone away, stop posting discontented and goady comments on here, enjoy the rest of your weekend with your family and have a bit of gratitude for the position you find yourself in.

Your post shows that however much someone has, it's never enough.

And why, for even the billionaires, that attitude persists.

In that sense, insightful.

Also, the truth of the saying comparison is the thief of joy.

Truly happy, content people don't measure success by money or possessions.

OP; I don’t think you will get any positive comments on here. The current climate, for all the reasons detailed above, means that whatever you do, whatever you say - you will be seen as having more than others, and not deserving of that.
Sadly, I think no matter what you do in the way of charitable work or volunteering, some will still resent you for your relative wealth.

I think it's a blip
The job you have been doing will likely be taken by AI in the next generation.

Most of UK money will end up abroad in the companies that own AI.

There will likely be social unrest due to poverty and people with nothing to lose will grab what they can

Relative wealth is the key.

I wish we were all wealthy. But presently a very few are extremely wealthy (with further extremes within this group) and a growing number will never attain wealth at all as a result.

More should become wealthy. That means the not-wealthy having more to become wealthy, and the very-wealthy having less so that they too become just ‘wealthy’.

Why do you have to pay tax on your pension payments? (Ok so not the point of the thread but I’m confused)

OP I think you need a reality check.

You don’t get tax relief on pension contributions over a threshold.

You don’t feel wealthy because you move in wealthier circles. Get some poor friends :)