Have lost ALL of my Universal Credit Award now partner moved in

[Fedupofthestruggle]

I have lived on my own with my disabled son for 18 months and had universal credit awarded including disabled element and carer element. I am his sole carer.

My partner has now moved in and we told universal credit. They of course needed to know his salary and any assets. He owns a flat (tiny, so we couldn't move in as there's no space for a family and disabled child). Universal credit have said since it's worth over 16k we no longer are able to receive any money.

However my question is shouldn't I still receive carers and disabled element since I can't work to look after my son? I will go back to universal credit to confirm if this is correct but wanted advice from anyone in similar position. Thanks very much.

Why on EARTH didn't you check this, it's such a basic and obvious thing to do.

That's nice, and the rest is understandable. But you should have checked all of that out first, not waited then added him on to the claim, and found out afterwards!

There are now two of you, it will be easier to find work, as presumably he will be there to help with your son ?

DH works and we own our own home and have savings, I get carers allowance as I am unable to work presently (DD gets DLA). So yes you should still get it.
If they make you redo the claim please ring up and ask for the paperwork as it is backdated to the date you ask for it! But I would ring and ask.

No it doesn't. Don't you think that couples that live together should support each other, instead of relying on the state to do so?

Well you do get couples who moan that 'oh we are a couple in work' and we get nothing, and look at the single parent they get xyz.
Granted there are some couples who struggle. But like someone said online on one such video.
If as a couple you are saying with work, you are taking less than the single mum working part time for example or even full time, with or without benefits, that's a YOU problem, not the single mothers.

And commit benefit fraud? Bravo, what a suggestion.

Regarding the nappies, is your son under the continence team? It would be worth asking them if you are entitled to free nappies from them.

Presumably, you thought your son's father was also a good man when you had a child with him. People don't always show their hand early on, do they?

I'm sorry to say, you've been extremely foolhardy here. I'd say the same to any woman moving a man into their family home with their children after 18 months (which is rarel ever in the child's best interests), but given your situation, it's even more so. He may well be 'a good man' but you barely know him and 'taking on' your son voluntarily from a distance is vastly different to the pressures of day to day life and responsibility. You are taking a gigantic risk and leaving both you and your son very vulnerable.

What's the rush? His property hasn't even sold and maintaining payments on two households is just putting more pressure on everyone.

Are people really suggesting OP puts her child into a care home so she can go to work and become a slave to society?

Not sure why the OP didn't answer the question about work. Her Dc is 6 - is there no special needs education in the UK? I swear there doesn't seem to be any. I am Australian - and schools must educate all children. My DS is severely disabled and attends school full time.

Agree that the OP should have checked this - and with another person to help, a job should be the priority not welfare

His flat is still empty so I would be asking him to move back there immediately while you get this sorted and reapply for UC letting them know he has moved out.

You need to prioritise your security and that of your son. It sounds like you can't have been with your boyfriend for more than 18 months and that's just not long enough to be sure about becoming essentially completely reliant on someone.

If he's a good man he will understand that he can't move in until you have a proper plan in place that is sustainable and healthy for you and your son, so will go back to his flat in the meantime and continue to date and emotionally support you while living separately.

@TallulahBetty

'No it doesn't. Don't you think that couples that live together should support each other, instead of relying on the state to do so?'

Exactly!
Then you get some who have kids, so the bf is over even more because of that reason, but however still for some reason doesn't want to live together. And the woman still wants to get all her benefits.

Plus I have heard some say oh but I have my child from previous, he is not responsible for them, well no maybe not, but if you are going to stay together as couple in a serious long term relationship, then all of that has to be thought about!

You let the child call the bf dad, as in one case I know of specifically, but then he is not responsible.
Then she lets him have his kids from previous stay at hers because he has nowhere to keep them where he lives. So to me this is pretty much where he lives.
Just not on paper.
And where people get away with it also, is because they live with family, so therefore they will not be on all the bills etc.
But can keep that address to stay at when needed, and leave their name registered there for correspondence, because well, it's easy because it's not like they are renting.

You didn't do any research before prioritising a man over your son. You're not entitled to means tested benefits when you live with someone who owns his own flat. One look at the entitlement website would have told you that.

https://www.gov.uk/carers-allowance

Also pays your National Insurance contributions towards state pension & other benefits

https://www.gov.uk/carers-credit

Child benefit already does that

It absolutely does. But maybe forces is the wrong word? It certainly encourages, rewards and facilitates single parent households. This man is expected to take full financial responsibility for a child who isn't his and a woman he isn't married to, yet hundreds of thousands of women live as 'single' mothers so that the fathers of their children and their regular long term partners can pretend they live at their mum's and 'only stay overnight a couple of times a week' in order to visit their children. Because UC for a 'single' parent with an 'on-off' apparently 'live-out' partner on a low wage is much more lucrative than having two parents in the household when neither of them are ever going to earn much. Absolutely nuts? Of course it is.

It also bank rolls lots of second wives. Ever wondered how on earth a devout Muslim woman manages to be a never married (in the eyes of British law) single mum with no financial support from the father of her children? That's how.

Hahahahah

My child is disabled. I've taken the LA to tribunal over lack of education. I won. He still doesn't have a school place because there are not enough school places. The general public has no idea how fucked over disabled kids and their family are

The difficulty is … lack of complex needs and specialist school places (and I say that as someone who is lucky enough to have my son in a specialist school, it was a hard fight with the council), lack of flexible jobs, lack of wrap around care for disabled children (they can’t just go to normal childminders etc and there’s a huge lack of provision during the school holidays). All of these things can make working an impossible dream for a lot of parents of disabled children. Not to mention the sheer burnout of caring for a disabled child, many of whom don’t sleep, and needing that time they’re at school to recover. When my son was little he would wake up 4-6 times every single night, screaming for hours, so the only time I could sleep was during the day when he went to school. It is really not easy.

OP if he is selling the flat you can have a grace period while it on the market I think.

But also once it's sold if he's got equity in there he's likely still going to have too much money for UC. He will be expected to support the family with that money until it runs out then you can get UC again. Is he really going to be happy to do this??

I'm mother to a disabled child so I fully understand how lonely and horrible it is. And how a supporting partner makes life bearable again. But I would not move a man in and rely on him financially personally as I've had bad experiences with men. Once he's not got his flat he will have nowhere to go if you split up. He may be amazing and not resent the burden of supporting another man's disabled child but he would have to be really unusual for that to be the case

You can't just declare your partner is a lodger and claim benefits. That's benefit fraud.

Yes of course there is education for children with disabilities in the UK, there good schools but school doesn't help when you have frequent appointments and hospital admissions and there is only so much time off employers will be able to tolerate. Then there are the sleepless nights, my small person woke 40 times last night, that is not unusual for us. Last week we were in hospital for a few days, that is also a frequent occurrence for us and I need to be there when it happens and again, that doesn't sit well with lots of employers. I am fortunate in being able to be self employed but it is not an option for everyone.

No, one person suggested that because they misread and thought the son was an adult