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Original poster

Have lost ALL of my Universal Credit Award now partner moved in

231 replies

Fedupofthestruggle · 11/03/2025 07:56

I have lived on my own with my disabled son for 18 months and had universal credit awarded including disabled element and carer element. I am his sole carer.

My partner has now moved in and we told universal credit. They of course needed to know his salary and any assets. He owns a flat (tiny, so we couldn't move in as there's no space for a family and disabled child). Universal credit have said since it's worth over 16k we no longer are able to receive any money.

However my question is shouldn't I still receive carers and disabled element since I can't work to look after my son? I will go back to universal credit to confirm if this is correct but wanted advice from anyone in similar position. Thanks very much.

OP posts:
Crikeyalmighty · 13/03/2025 19:03

I’m sure it’s tough for OP but the time to think about the finances is before moving anyone in - as it’s done and dusted I would be explaining the situation to her new partner and say she will need a personal allowance of xyz or it doesn’t make sense and leaves her feeling vulnerable.

NerrSnerr · 13/03/2025 19:03

If the OP has only lived alone with her son for 18 months, who was she living with before? If a previous partner this means that this new partner is really, really new and it's a huge risk for the OP to rely on him.

Iwanttoliveonamountain · 13/03/2025 19:27

FriendsDrinkBook · 13/03/2025 18:55

@Iwanttoliveonamountain it's not your experience though is it? Supporting send kids and actually having them are two completely different things. Your observations mean nothing because you don't truly know what 24/7 looks like.

you clearly didn’t read my post I said when I worked at a complex needs school there were many parents, single parents who worked. I didn’t say every single parent can work but I said in my experience many did.

FriendsDrinkBook · 13/03/2025 19:48

@Iwanttoliveonamountain I did. And your post made me angry. Just because you saw that some sen parents had jobs it doesn't mean that a) everyone can and b) that these people weren't hanging on by a thread and physically and mentally exhausted.

What you stated hurt because I went from being a person that supported send kids and did a bloody good job of it , to someone that had to stop earning my own money and I'm now relying on my son's disability benefits and UC.

What you see and hear between 9am and 3pm doesn't show you how truly hard it is. All you see is the child that shows up for school and the parent that says they're okay because admitting otherwise means potentially sobbing infront of a random support worker.

Your comment looked judgemental.

Iwanttoliveonamountain · 13/03/2025 19:50

It wasn’t judgemental. It was just a observation of a fact, but I’m sorry if it upset you.

Chewbecca · 13/03/2025 22:55

DazzlingCuckoos · 13/03/2025 17:36

My mum couldn't work because of her caring responsibilities, even with a school place for my sibling.

Why? Because there was no holiday care available and, short of working in a school, there were no jobs that were term time only. Even that would be difficult though as it would mean me and my sibling were at different schools with different term dates, etc, so chances would be that there would be some times that she'd be expected in work, with no-one to look after my sibling. It was easy for me to be looked after by a grandparent, but no-one other than my DPs was able to look after my sibling.

My DF had a job that meant he worked irregular evenings and weekends, so my DM couldn't take a job working in the supermarket or anything either.

As soon as my sibling went into full time residential care, my DM went back to work, but up until that point it was just too difficult. She would have loved to have worked. She got so, so bored stuck at home all the time, particularly because money was so tight because she couldn't work. Meanwhile my Dad was working 50-60 hour weeks to make ends meet.

It really isn't as simple as you make out.

Show quote history

There is a massive difference between your family's situation and the OP's. Your sibling was supported by their mother and father.

The question ultimately being debated in this thread is who should support the child in the OP's situation?

OP + the state (UC) or OP + new partner? Interestingly OP + child's father is not up for consideration.

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