Not going on Mortgage with DP

[pillowfighter]

I rented and he owns his own house. I moved in with him at the start then we had our child. Now we are moving as need something bigger. My credit rating isn't good and he will be buying the new house in his own name putting down a deposit from the current house. I won't be named on the mortgage yet until my credit score improves which could be years.
I work part time so can only afford to put a little towards the mortgage when he will be paying 3/4s of it.
I have been advised that if were to hypothetically split up in the future that I need to get a document signed by both of us that u would be entitled to a certain amount if the property was sold. And he would obviously get his deposit back etc.

Is this correct ?
I don't want to split I'm just asking to protect myself as not with a mortgage but in the past I have been financially shat on !
Thank you any advice would be appreciated

I was told you can’t go on the deeds If not on the mortgage

Who told you that?

He can't have it both ways. If you aren't on the mortgage and deeds you aren't entitled to it and he can kick you and baby out at any time. The mortgage company won't allow a document giving you rights if you're not on the mortgage as they want to have the full ownership of the house to repossess if he doesn't pay.

Options are:

1. You marry. You pay nothing towards the house until you do.
2. You either go in the mortgage from the start, with his deposit ring-fenced
3. He owns the house himself and he pays for it himself and you save your money towards buying some financial security for yourself. You put the equivalent of a mortgage payment away in a savings account to build a substantial deposit for yourself.

Realistically working only part time when you have no right to the place you live is risky. If he kicked you out you're screwed as you don't own enough to rent somewhere for you and baby to live.

A mortgage company would not he happy with you being on the deeds but not the mortgage. They need the ability to take control and repossess if he defaults.

Get married. Honestly, everything else is just bodging and putting sticking plasters over it.

No you need a Deed of Trust.

Seriously, just get married, have a big wedding at a later date if you so desire, but you have a child together so just get married! Surely it isn't that big a deal if he was willing to make the lifelong commitment of a child with you? If he (obviously hopefully not) dies suddenly you are in a really vulnerable position.

Why not go back to work full time and split the childcare costs so that if anything does happen between you, you can support yourself? Isn't that safer than trying to force a man to split his assets with you when he's reluctant to do so?

This x 1000.

In the long run you'll be better off supporting yourself.

https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/family/living-together-marriage-and-civil-partnership/living-together-and-marriage-legal-differences/

https://www.gov.uk/registering-land-or-property-with-land-registry/register-for-the-first-time

Demand that you are put on the deeds as tenants in common. I would also push to put myself on the mortgage application as a further protection.

Register an interest on the property so he can't sell without paying you back for whatever you spent on the house for eg new kitchen, windows etc. You have put yourself in a very vulnerable position by:
a) having a child before marriage
B) buying a property where you will not be an official owner on any deeds or documents

If this is a serious relationship then book a registry office wedding and get married ASAP. Very unwise to have left it so long without doing this.

I was in a similar situation, except I was contributing the deposit (poor credit rating and wasn't married) tried to get a legal document but the mortgage wouldn't allow me to be on the deeds and I couldn't be on the mortgage, the deposit money had to be a gift etc so risky situation.

I insisted we had to be married (the legal bit) before he'd be 'gifted' the deposit and he promised he'd add me to the mortgage deeds once the house was bought. Fast forward, thank god we got married because he then said oh we have to wait 6 months, 6 months later there was another excuse why I couldn't be added.

I registered a matrimonial home rights notice on the property with the land registry which essentially put a notice on the deed that it was a matrimonial home and it prevents a sale or remortgage without consent. Turned out a year later he tried to remortgage in secret to pull out 145k, the bank told him no because of my rights notice, shortly after the marriage fell apart and that rights notice was the only thing that prevented him from selling or remortgaging or kicking me out! (He tried desperately to get me to remove it).

Fast forward to the divorce, he again was desperate to keep it out of court but refused to cooperate with financial disclosure or anything else, and it was a long ordeal because he continued to not cooperate and initially was saying that I should get nothing from the house because I'd contributed nothing and the deposit money was gifted to him. Well the court said no starting point is 50% because it's a matrimonial home. Went all the way to a final hearing but eventually I was able to get an immediate order for sale (what I wanted) with 100% of the equity and cost orders etc.

So the TLDR is - you should be extremely careful and get legal advice if you go into this without being married and 💯 ensure you are legally protected. Getting married (before the house is purchased) is probably the safest thing to do and registering the marital rights notice if you're not added to the deeds (in my case it ended up being an absolute blessing i wasn't added to the mortgage as I'd have been liable for the mortgage payments he stopped paying!) but do be extremely careful about who you're marrying and protecting yourself. Yes I got all of the equity and was able to sell the house but all in all I basically lost a considerable amount of money after the court fees, and it was extremely stressful as well so do look out for yourself, don't just trust anything you're told, people do change.

If we weren't married and I'd relied on his promises, I'd have lost absolutely everything including somewhere to live and he'd have basically got a house out of me.

I think in your situation you need to either get married or have something solid enough that it will prevent him selling or remortgaging without you having your share like a charge. As only working part time, if you're just relying on a legal document that's going to be expensive to enforce.

short answer - more likely yes

just go the registry office and get married asap - you are very vulerable and daft moving in his house with no rights

No

You need a marriage certificate.

I don't know why you would even contemplate any other course of action. You could end up high and dry.

Get married to protect you and DC.

He can always get a prenup to protect his deposit. Suggest marriage to him. You should have asked him on 💘 Valentines Day.

Don't waste time waiting around for a proposal like you're in an 18th century romantic novel.

Tell him you want to be married like an adult with responsibility and agency for your own life, book a registry office and protect yourself.

Tell him, you either marry or its over

Then you move on, he's having you make his life so easy, with zero commitment to you
You are being an idiot frankly

@pillowfighter why are you ignoring all of us who are telling you that you need to be married?

get married before the bigger house is purchased.

Don't wait for a proposal. Work out what dates the registry office is available and ask him what suits him.

Correct, Im surprised the number of posters suggesting this. Most mortgage providers wont allow it, it lessens the amount of security they have against the loan.

You need to speak to a broker OP

If he's hesitant about getting married asap then that's your red flag!

You can. I’m on the deeds but not the mortgage for one of the properties me and DP own. You obviously can’t have a mortgage if you’re not on the deeds.

Sorry - edit to say that’s not quite correct. They didn’t use my income for the affordability but I think I am technically named on the mortgage.

Its incredibly unusual for a lender to allow someone to be on the deeds but not on the mortgage, it compromises them and raises the risk of them not being able to reposess if they need to.

Im amazed at the number of suggestions of this on this thread.

Yes but why is he going to sign that agreement when you don’t pay abything towards the mortgage and nor have you paid the deposit

Why not get a better paid job and sort out your debts - then contribute- then ask for a cohabitation agreement

You certainly wouldn’t stand a look in if I was him!

Marriage is an option, a better one is to work full time and actually protect yourself,

Time he did his half of the parenting

Mumsnetters often get confused and think marriage offers more protection than it actually does.

Build your own financial security, never rely on a man