Sons gone into residential section 20 home to get the right support...how is this going to affect my benefits?

[2024cansuckit]

Hi all!
Please help.

My son has gone into a residential care home (section 20) for the max of 1 year to get the help and support he is desperate for.

I get DLA for him, uc with disabled child premium, child benefit and child maintenance (when dad pays very irregular). Its only a temporary thing, not full care, and I am still expected to keep my house to ensure he has a home and bedroom for when he returns home.

I don't really know how my money will be affected and I'm stressing! I private rent. I do work 2 days a week but my employers are very very nasty.

If anyone has any ideas or has been through this please let me know

Thank you

I admire your absolute strength and think your amazing op. It is hard and it's heartbreaking but I am so glad your ds is doing well please hold onto that. The system isn't working for the people who are left behind to provide and still pick up pieces is it and it's not ok!

Thank you for posting, I am totally blown away by your strength I really am

Ours really isn't and will just signpost to Citizens Advice or other organisations.

Contact is a good organisation as it's specifically geared to families with disabled children:
https://contact.org.uk/

Thr money received is for your son. Once he no longer lives with you then you should no longer need the money. Keeping a home for him is irrelevant, as you also need a home. Just get a full-time job for the year he's away. Once he returns and the benefits reinstated, then resign. If you need a cushion whilst you re-apply, just put some of your wages away each month to get a little bit of savings together.

If the time away is expected to be six months or more, unfortunately OP will not be considered responsible for the child. I don't think there's any discretion but worth discussing with your work coach.
Is there any way the one year can be broken up with periods at home?

You clearly have not read all of the OPs posts. Please do this before commenting on what is an extremely difficult situation for OP.

Is it hospital or residential care?

Residential care benefits DO stop. Hospital if your child enters hospital before their 17th birth benefits DO NOT stop.

You can get an answer to this by looking at guidance about benefits amd what happens if your child is in care. Don't rely on people here as if you do something wrong you can't say you've had bad advice about mums net. Your child's SW will be able to give you some advice or tell you where to look for information.

A DHP would seem appropriate to tide you over with rent until your DC returns. You would need to contact your council for this.

You need to get a full time job.

No doubt tge child's (not yours!) benefits will be stopped.

Child maintenance should (likely not) be paid to the state.

Have you even considered this opinion? In the slightest? With any level of insight or empathy?

What you need if it is just you and what you need if it is a family are two different things. With different costs. If you have provided for a family it isn't just like that that you can instantly leave your home and get somewhere smaller and cheaper.

Many carers will have a significant gap in their CV. Especially with the job market as it is you can't just go snap theres a job.

Often when you're young person is in hospital you are at your most tired and low emotional reserves. You might be regularly travelling ridiculous distances to maintain family relationships. With all the significant costs trying to live/hotel stay in two places involves. When DS was in hospital long term i was travelling over 6 hours with a £100 or quid train ride to see him. I was way too tired to drive. I was going there at back in such a way that he never went more the two days without seeing us because he had never stayed away from home. The two days I was home I was work just to try and keep us afloat. I had nearly maxed out my credit card when thankfully sone funding was found to help. Life was fucking difficult.

Families with children in residential are going back and forth for visits parents evenings etc.they are expected to still work, but also drop it the second a placement becomes unsustainable or loses funding. Oh and still run a big enough home to allow the child home for weekends/holidays/leave.

Get a job indeed.

So very short sighted.

Sorry ignore this section 20 residential.

You would loose all benefits regarding your child as he is being accommodated by the LA.

His DLA will be applied for by the home or SW and parts of this will go towards his placement.

Child benefit stops when a child goes into care. Foster carers and residential homes don't claim this.

Please ensure you have all the info regards your children's disabilities in your housing app, usually this can help in your bidding.
As for the pps saying the usual crap why do you work two days? read! OP has 2 disabled children.

Exactly. Please read OPs posts people. She has a disabled six year old too who is likely to need lifelong care.

So at least OP will retain her carers element and work allowance.
OP is in an extremely difficult situation and her son being taken into residential care is not something done lightly.
If you don't have either sympathy or knowledge then why post?

She has a second child with disabilities and it is virtually impossible to work part time let alone full time with a child with disabilities because there is no childcare available during school holidays, so you have to take unpaid leave to cover the summer break.
It is so depressing. I really want to work but can't because of this.

Almost all benefits regarding the Child (and certainly all under the umbrella of UC and the care component of DLA). Child Benefit is retained if there are costs to be met by the parent e.g. clothing, toiletries, pocket money etc. I've just been through this process with CB last month.

@20242024cansuckit thank you, it has been and is painful in ways I could never have imagined. However, I know we have to take the long view - the more support my son gets now, the more likely it is he can be home again (successfully and happily) or near to home in the future. I hope things are going well for yours. Always here if you need to chat ❤️

The cliff edge of taking disability benefits away in a way that immediately fucking the carer over, infuriates me.

The disability benefits paid to the disabled person - when they transfer or stop, i understand that (although I think there should be exceptions in cases where like OP care hasn't actualy stopped it's paused and she'll still incur costs like her child's bedroom for example).

Please bear with me as I find it hard to explain. But I think The "carers allowance" should have a "maintenance afterwards" element like a pension works. Or "respite pension" type thing for pauses/breaks in providing care. In recognition the carer has not been sitting on their arse watching TV. they've sacrificed their career AND earning prospects whilst providing care - which if the state had to pay would cost the state a fucking fortune.

My DH has spent a decade looking after me. He has and is currently getting up at 4am to leave to do a manual job cleaning for a few hours and then going out to do it again at late evening, to bring extra money in, on top of spending his day caring for me, and worrying himself sick whilst he's away from the house. he's going to have to stop even that soon as I'm too fucking needy with my care needs which I fucking hate. I'm in hospital next month and I am fucking pleased as it will be respite care for him. Although he would never say it and prob feel disloyal thinking it.

I'm also poss facing an OP which is 12mths recovery time, god knows what will happen with my benefits as I don't known where and how long I'll need care rehab away from home. Whatever. we will Deal with it if and when it happens.

What I think about most is what happens to DH and other people in his position when I die and their savings have been eaten by care and the fact he hasn't earnt a full wage etc. Disability and carer benefits just stop. He'll just. be told "just get a job" like people on here have, like it's just a simple matter.

"Just get a job". Right. He's late
middle aged and is exhausted and his back is fucked from bending down to clean behind toilets at work and coming home to look after me. And I'm small and underweight, and easy enough to move about! And DH works out to try and keep as fit as possible under the circumstances- we do our best. He won't be old enough for a pension but he's sacrificed his career, knackered his joints and suffered trauma and worry and stress and sleeplessness for years so is not comparable to someone who hasn't been in that position. He hasn't been able to retrain to get qualifications so is tied to manual work but his knees and back will be fucked despite his best efforts. He will be bereaved. He won't be old enough for a pension.

His years of saving the state a fucking fortune, just like all carers like him, will be totally ignored and disregarded. It isn't right.

I'm sorry @2024cansuckit you're in your position and even more sorry that people don't understand or have the tiniest bit of fucking empathy to try and understand. Breaks in care for hospital or residential should recognise the carer is getting a small amount RESPITE themsleves. (Albeit if youre still caring for others it's not exactly respite but you hopefully know what I mean) God knows you deserve it and then some. You and people like DH have saved the state a fortune. Prevented numerous NHS visits and physio visits and continence nurses and health visitors etc.sacrificed your own career and any Chance of retraining. Paying carers like you "interim payments" for pauses and "care pension" when it stops should be the bare minimum. In recognition.

But no, instead you basically get a fuck you and, "get a job".

Sorry that was a rant. I'm feeling ranty. Well @2024cansuckit you have some empathy from me as the cared for person IYSWIM and a thank you, too.

Ps 2025 can suck it too.

I just read this for a bit of advice as my daughter is also section 20 and I live 70 miles away. I visit her every weekend and she regularly sleeps over. I spend a fortune on fuel and entertainment and I work full time as a TA and my entire wage goes on me seeing her. I am penniless. I didn’t want her to go into care but she did on a section 20, it was devastating. The social team wouldn’t increase respite and they couldn’t find a decent PA so I did it alone!!! Then in the care home she has 4 staff 24/7 and there is no wonder I was so ruined. And that is what hurts the most now - they pay all that money for a home, 4 carers and I just needed to be heard, to have a bit of help. Don’t bash this lady, you don’t understand!!! It’s fortunate????? There’s nothing fortunate so leave her alone!!!

Apply to your council for DHA for your rent shortfall.