Sons gone into residential section 20 home to get the right support...how is this going to affect my benefits?

[2024cansuckit]

Hi all!
Please help.

My son has gone into a residential care home (section 20) for the max of 1 year to get the help and support he is desperate for.

I get DLA for him, uc with disabled child premium, child benefit and child maintenance (when dad pays very irregular). Its only a temporary thing, not full care, and I am still expected to keep my house to ensure he has a home and bedroom for when he returns home.

I don't really know how my money will be affected and I'm stressing! I private rent. I do work 2 days a week but my employers are very very nasty.

If anyone has any ideas or has been through this please let me know

Thank you

It was, and all the things I mentioned contribute to it being unfortunate. While she may not have her child in her care she needs to maintain a home for him on a much reduced income, a year isn’t enough time for her to build her earning power and she will have travel costs to visit her child, attend meetings and health appointments while he is being cared for so will still incur costs and need time out of work while not receiving financial support for this. Many parents are plunged into poverty when benefits are removed while their child is in temporary care. Temporary care which has a significant impact on the whole family no matter how needed that intervention is.

Yes the state can’t afford to fund everyone indefinitely but compassion and empathy cost nothing.

Could you let out his room until he returns?

You've mentioned DLA. Are you claiming carer's allowance for your younger child? Oh I guess you're earning too much. I don't know how much you earn but would you consider doing something self employed such as cleaning? Or does that affect the UC? If it doesn't affect the UC I'd do self employed cleaning and be paid in cash. You find yourself in an impossible situation op and the system is not helping you so you need to be creative.

Sorry you're getting replies from people who can't empathise and don't understand how worn down you must be by your situation.

It doesn’t look good I’m afraid - you can contact an advisor who will let you know what can happen you can remain anonymous

https://advicefinder.turn2us.org.uk/#main-content

I guess you are going to lose at least 1k a month

OP I've got nothing to add here because you've had some good advice but I just wanted to say start making plans now for how you are going to make an income for yourself when your youngest turns 18 and all the child related money stops.

Fortunately for you you've got 12 years to deal with it. Don't wait until a month before your youngest money stops to do something.

Are you really advising the OP to commit benefit fraud?

Plans are already in place however its highly likely I will be my youngest child's carer well into her adulthood

Ring your local councils benefits and advice helpline as a starting point. They’re very helpful.

Thank you

Yes I get carers for my youngest thankfully. I earn over the work amount on uc so already am deducted from my uc due to over the wage amount which is frustrating but is what it is. So going self employed wouldn't help either as it would knock my carers allowance off and more deductions from my uc.

Stuck! As frigging usual I guess. And I do agree with another op post I've averaged I'm going to be down at least 800 pounds a month which is 50pounds short of my rent (my rent due to increase in Jan 2026 its SO cheap atm for where I live! Private rent is averaging £1300 to £1800 plus for a 3 bedroom property) on the council house list and website however nothing really comes up for 3 bedrooms but if they do I have bidded in the past however most council houses are more expensive than my current private rent due to amazing rent (no increase for the last 3 years ish since I've been here)

Just a nightmare situation!

For all that are interested.
1480 per month lost ..... God help meee

If UC aren’t paying your full rent, do apply for a discretionary housing payment.

Yes I am going too thank you. Going to HAVE too !!

Keep looking at social houses if possible as a quirk in the rules is they'll pay the full rent on social housing unless you've got more bedrooms than you need then under occupancy supplement is applied.

The only 1 bed social housing where in live is £155 a week, the private rent for 1 bed is £97 a week.

Sadly this is the unseen side of being in receipt of benefits, that any change of circumstances or rule changes by the government can cause absolute havoc

Probably best to get some professional advice.

Is your son going to be coming home at all? If he is then you will get DLA for the days he’s at home. I believe you also continue to get the mobility part. I really recommend giving Contact a call

https://contact.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/Benefits-if-your-child-is-in-residential-accommodation.pdf

You can only earn about £150 a week before you use carers allowance so you can't be earning much. Might you be better off quiting work completely of it's horrible.

Is your youngest at school? Can you look for a part time (3-5 days) job whilst she's at school? I used to work 18 hours spread over 4 days when my dc were at school. Youngest also has additional needs but not as high needs as your dc.

What type of work do you do and maybe we can help suggest alternaive options for you.

If you earn too much for carers allowance, you can apply for carers credit instead. I would look for another job and apply for carers credit to make up the difference.

https://www.gov.uk/carers-credit

https://www.carersuk.org/

My dc went into residential care at 13 too op and the situation all round was horrendous so I feel for you.

I didn't get UC then as it was some years ago but I think I still received the mobility part of DLA. No idea why tbh as they were there full-time. I didn’t apply for it. I remember getting a phone call one day saying I was entitled to it and it was being backdated so it was quite a lot of money. Not enough to live on of course.

You need to find out how this applies to you now as everyone’s situation is different.

Thank you for posting. Do you mind me asking how your dc is/are doing now? Did it help in your situation?
Yes apparently mobility element I still recieve which I'm thankful for however doesn't cover the down fall 😬

Thank you yes she's at school. I've been searching for that sort of position and will continue too! No luck yet

@Dror can you perhaps find a little empathy in your soul?

Good grief.

Yes it helped at the time. My dc had to be there for their own safety and they had a lot of supervision which couldn’t be provided at home. They are an adult now and I can’t say all is fine as they struggle and things are still hard.

Sorry I don’t have advice regarding your financial situation but I have worked in 3 different children’s homes and each one cared about our young people so much. We worked so hard to be thoughtful and enrich the children’s lives.
(I hope this gives you some comfort, I understand it must be hard)

My disabled son attends a residential school (almost 300 miles from home as it was the only school in the country that could meet his needs 🥺), he started in December 2024. He is doing well and it's the right thing but heartbreaking every day. The financial aspect is another gut punch. My son will be away until he's 19 potentially (he's 12) so there is huge potential to enter the workforce I've been out of for a decade etc but I also care for two adults in my family who have profound needs (I receive Carer's Allowance for one) and I am also traumatised by the last decade so while I will definitely work again and want to do so it's not as straightforward as it might be. I still have my caring responsibilities for the adults mentioned and a younger child and no other family support. To answer the actual question: we have retained the mobility element of DLA (we currently still have the car to visit him but this may change) and also child benefit. I called Child Benefit the day after he moved and they temporarily suspended the claim and sent a form enquiring as to whether I still have expenses or make purchases for my older son. As I am still responsible for his clothing, toiletries, toys etc I wrote this down on the form and the estimated monthly costs and they responded quickly saying it was reinstated but if things changed on that front to contact them again. Unfortunately everything else is lost which I understand but is a huge adjustment. We lost around £1300 a month which is huge even though my son's life at home and care needs did make that a very expensive outgoing. We also obviously visit and want to visit him as often as possible which is £££ no matter how cheaply you do it when the school is 280 miles away. If your son does come home for weekends, holidays etc this year then you can apply for boarder payments via DLA for the days and nights he's home. I believe there's a form for this you can request and/or you can call up and inform them of the relevant dates.

With regard to anything that might be relevant about LHA and bedrooms etc I would urge you to speak to UC and also CAB and Contact about that as I wouldn't think you should be penalised for your son being away temporarily and them being able to change your home situation (like downsizing or losing relevant rent contribution if those things apply).

Sorry I don't have more help or cheerful news about finances, I hope you find a way to manage. I also hope this benefits your son in all the ways you're hoping, and more!

Sending you solidarity and if you ever need to chat I'm here.

Thank you! This does give me comfort and hope that this is going to help him 🙏 ❤️

I'm sorry to hear this my love... it is what it is and am sure you've done everything you possibly can and more for them along the way!!!