Stingy man ??

[anon990]

Hi girls looking for some advice, sorry in advance if it’s long. I’m dating a guy 6 months now, official since last month. Completely different to my last relationship. But since the beginning I’ve noticed some money issues on his side. For example twice he’s had no car due to ‘not being able to afford his insurance’ he has a good job and works mon-fri. He lives at home and pays no rent. He doesn’t even drive to work as he’s picked up and dropped off everyday so no diesel cost. During this time I drove us around and drove us to our first overnight which I paid half of. When we went to the shop to buy goods for the night (cabin stay) I picked out malteseers to eat ( he was paying) but he insisted on party rings which were half the price I just went along with it. He always talks about the price of things, eg: he bought two toasties cookies and coffee for us recently and I just knew he would say something and he said ‘Jesus €44 like that’s mad would u pay that for the same thing in Tesco’ . I drove us places while he had no car and even had to get on the train with him once until he one day expected I was driving ( a very long drive) and I said no just pay your insurance? And then he eventually did. He doesn’t drink or go out or gamble so I don’t know how he doesn’t have it. One day I wanted to eat out somewhere and he said he’s broke so I got us McDonald’s. Another time we went out again broke apparently so I got us meal in a pub. I drive to his every week for 6 months and never asked for anything for it. This weekend he came to me and we were doing a hike, on the way back he pulled in for diesel , he keeps the door open while he’s pumping so I knew he had something to say and he asks me to go in and get us drinks since he’s paying diesel? He’s own diesel?? We did the hike and we had planned food afterwards. He doesn’t even mention it even tho I was starving and hadn’t eaten and this made me mad so I brought it up and he’s saying oh sorry I forgot and gets a €14 takeaway after? I just don’t know what to do he’s great in other ways but I brought out he said oh I’m sorry I thought it wasn’t bad I asked for drinks since I drove to you. And didn’t mention it again. It’s giving me the ick. What do u think is the tight or am I a b**ch . My last relationship he paid for all our stuff even tho I’d pay for somethings sometimes it was mostly him. This man wants to half everything even who’s driving!!

Ok so next thing is how do I break it off gently because I actually don't want to hurt his feelings he is sensitive and I've never been the one to break it off before

You could possibly say you’re breaking off with him due to distance and then move on. I think it’s really good you haven’t let this go on for years.

This is a very good suggestion, if he pushes further for more answers then be honest. I would also end it by text- you haven’t dated that long so it’s suitable, just say you don’t wish to discuss it over the phone. Give it 24 hours after your message then block him x

OP, he’s a tightarse and no wonder you’re getting the ick. He just doesn’t want to spend his money, especially not on you. He says he’s saving up so he doesn’t have to spend, then he pretends he is t good at saving because he doesn’t want you to know he could afford xyz. Not being able to afford insurance etc is a pathetic excuse so that you drive to him.

Honestly, some people are just pathologically tight. He won’t change or get better. I’d end it.

Just tell him you're financially incomparable as he's a tight twat.

Financial compatibility is hugely important.

The idea of telling him the distance isn't working for you is a good one, especially because he doesn't seem willing to put in the effort to drive to you. Do that, wish him the best and move on with your life.

Bin him and raise your standards. He should be trying to impress you, not sponge off you. Next thing, he'll be angling to move in.

OP, I had one of these. He was VERY well off because he invested all his money, but wouldn't pay for a coffee out and would stand back in the supermarket and let me pay for the shopping every time we went out. He was a typical 'OW much?' man. It didn't bother me too much because I had to be very frugal too, but in the end his constant carping and not wanting to do things because it might cost something (entry fees for places we really wanted to go, or getting lunch out - he'd insist on coming home for food or moan about how expensive everything was) got to me. He had lots of other behaviours that wore me down too, and it all culminated in me leaving the relationship despite the fact that actually he was quite a decent bloke. You don't have to stay with someone if they irritate you.

Whatever the reason is, run anyway. I think his saving his money and using yours so he can have activities to do while his saving for a house etc. Honestly, I'd have the ick too. Use your time on someone else and leave this guy to be someone else's problem, I think he needs a reality check.

Another option is he is lying about his salary - wants to sound like his on similar pay to you.