Hi,
Any help will be massively appreciated.
In short, my dad is a nightmare. All of my adult life i’ve had to mop up the many messes he finds himself in. He is always cutting corners, making bad decisions and gives no thought to the future. I ended up on antidepressants because I couldn’t cope with his demands anymore, it’s genuinely that bad.
I feel some kind of weird loyalty to him, as there’s no one else to advise him, but i’m a working mum of 3 young kids and i’m just about staying afloat myself with all of the admin of my own life. I’m busy, and i’m stressed (Aren’t we all)
He is 69 year’s old. No private pension. Multiple health issues, such as unstable angina, abdominal aortic aneurysm, kidney stones, musle/muscularskeletal issues, mobility issues diverticulitis.. I could go on. I deal with all medical appointments and take him to them, which is a massive task and very difficult to manage.
He has, without a doubt, ADHD. He’s often manic at times and he jumps from one thing to another and cannot tell you a simple story, or answer simple questions without going off on a huge tangent. He’s very difficult to understand and you can never get the full story with him.
Anyway; 5 year’s ago I sorted out a PIP assessment for him. He was awarded the full whack. It was a stressful time but I felt relieved that he had some support in that respect.
When he reached pension age, I sorted all of that out. He assured me he had very little in savings and so pension credit was sorted to top up his state pension (He has no private pension) Again, I felt relieved that this was dealt with and grateful that he had some kind of security.
He lives in a small house in a deprived area. His rent is paid for him, due to pension credit I assume, or would or be paid anyway because he of pension age and is awarded full PIP? I don’t know.
He calls me yesterday and tells me that he wants to come off pension credit. I couldn’t get to the bottom of why, other than he has some money due to him from somewhere, he wants to invest it in shares, he will earn excellent money from this blah blah…. I’ve heard it all before and these schemes never work out. He says it will need to go in to his bank account and he can start working again (He is NOT fit to work, plus is 70 this year) Buying and selling at auctions, as well as investing in all of these shares.
I don’t know his full financial situation, I cannot make sense of the things he tells me and very often he says one thing and then changes his story down the line.
I think he’s bored, fed up and is seeking the next thrill. He doesn’t like sitting around doing nothing but unfortunately his health dictates that quite often, he has to.
I’m just exhausted with him and am appealing for advice!
If he comes off pension credit, will his rent not be paid? Does he need to come off PIP too if he’s earning a wage in the future based on these shares he’s banging on about?
I’m in the process of going for power of attorney for him, and feel as though i’ve got to help him make the right financial decisions, but with 3 young kids and working myself I am absolutely run ragged and just don’t know where to start with all of this.
He has been nothing but a burden my whole adult life 😞 He doesn’t see me as his child, he sees me as some kind of PA.