Financial abuse?

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Hi,

my DH has a credit card that he uses that is in my name. I’m aware of this and he pays the bill directly from his account each month- all paid up to date etc.

He be discovered that there’s quite a high balance on the card now of around 5k. Again, he’s not missing payments etc, however this is a card that is in my name. I can see that it’s just been used for everyday stuff and nothing dodgy!

would this be an example of financial abuse?

Provided he's paying it off, he is benefitting you by improving your credit record - I fail to see how this is abusive?

I wouldn't think abuse, no. I'd clearly tell him he needs to let you know if he can't clear it every month as you don't want to carry a balance, or you're unhappy with the situation continuing and will have to close the account.

There was already a balance on the card from when I used to have it if around 5k. It’s now increased to 7k. I think he should have told me

A balance of £5k on 'everyday stuff' is quite worrying, unless it's interest free, it must be costing a fortune in interest.

Plus while he's paying now, if he stops paying for whatever reason, it's you who'll be chased by the lender and whose credit record will be damaged by any missed payments.

If he's been using the card for his personal spending, either directly or indirectly because he's been saving money he should be spending on household stuff, then perhaps the best thing to do would be for him to take out his own 0% card and transfer the balance so it's his responsibility to pay off.

What's he like with money generally? Do you think there's a risk of him getting into debt like this?

Do you mean £7k is owed or the card is in credit by £7k.

7k is owed. Like I said, it’s not all his debt but he has increased it

I don't think it would class as financial abuse but this is about (as always) expectations and communication. You expected him to tell you about the increased balance, he expected to be able to use the card as he has your permission. Dh has a credit card, I am the affiliated card holder so have my own card in my own name but anything I spend is on Dh's credit file.

However, we have been married 25 years, we have joint account which the bill gets paid from automatically so I can see the total balance taken each month and I can also log into the credit card account to see what has been spent if needed.

We communicate all the time about spending, we also have a proper sit down and discuss future spending so the open honesty of it all is something we have always done.

What is done is done, draw a line under it and talk about what you want moving forward. Discuss paying it down or if there will be any further spending which will increase the debt and whether this is acceptable. Talking about joint money when married should be as normal as discussing what you are having for dinner.

Why doesnt he have a card in his own name?

You need to be clearing this debt, which will be costing a lot in interest, not increasing it. Start planning how you will do that and meanwhile use the moneysavingexpert website to find a 0% card, if you can get one.

I mean technically it could be seen as using your asset for his gain. But I think no, if you don’t want him using the card tell him and cancel it.

Of course it’s not financial abuse.

stupid idea though.

why is he using a card in your name? Not even sure that’s legal, but you’re also leaving yourself open to scams, cloning etc- if the cc company found out you weren’t in possession of the card they would not be obliged to do anything.

get your card back or close the account. Get him his own card.

Then this needs to stop. The card should not be used for further spending and the debt paid off. This must be costing a fair amount in interest.

Just going back to the original post, noone is 'paying their credit card bill every month' if they're only paying the minimum required and the debt is rising. He's a fool with money and you're being naive, too.

O% Balance Transfer is the way to go, and start paying it down, ASAP. Or even convert the debt to a bank loan for a better rate than the credit card charges if you can't get a 0% deal

This is absolutely not financial abuse, at all, but if you’re not comfortable with it continuing then all you have to do is tell him.

First thing - get onto the cc company and reduce the credit limit. Do this each month so that no new debt is accrued.

The card is in your name, so it’s your responsibility for it, why doesn’t he have his own card. You should be able to request a lower limit, I have done this as I didn’t need such a high limit. You need to get this sorted, yes I’m sure it’s fraud using someone else’s card.

No, thats not financial abuse.

Someone not doing what YOU think they should do is never abuse.

So you ran up 5K of it but are now saying he's financially abusive because he's run up 2K? Since his debt is just his debt in your mind I hope you're making the necessary interest and principal repayments on the 5K you ran up? If he's the only one paying the boot is on the other foot.

Abuse? in what way?
£7k debt; 5 of which is yours, he's added 2, pays every month not seeing anything but poor money skills.

In the sense that he should have spoken to me

Nope, still not financial abuse.

it’s your card and your responsibility. You let/didn’t stop him use it, that’s on you.

Did you give him permission to use your card, Op? Why aren't the statements coming to you?

He just deals with it all. He doesn’t control all of the money - my wages etc just go into my account but he deals with the card

I think you should be telling him instead of us. Of course it's not financial abuse - you gave him the credit card.

Why on earth would you give a credit card with a negative balance of £5k to someone else? Wouldn't the sensible thing to do be to pay off the balance (and cut up the card)?

Awaiting the drip feed....

Well, it's a good idea for husband and wives to talk to each other about finances.

But the more pressing conversation for you (both) to have is why your day to day spending is more than your income and you are in debt.

I also don't know why your DH has access to your credit card, but presumably (as you haven't said otherwise) you are happy with that. If he's using it against your will, that's the only potential sign of abuse.