Should Fiance help with finances

[806mum]

Trying to keep this short. I have a child from previous marriage. My fisnce moved into my house. For years I would buy expensive trips and concerts and experiences for both of us. He was unemployed for 1.5 years and I lent him money and paid for food and supplies without being asked. When I bought my house my son and I lived with my sister to save money to put more down to lower the house payment. Fast forward.. my finance moves in with us. My child’s father abandoned him and now I bear all his expenses 100%.. all his activities, traveling, food, his gas and clothes and gear. My Fiance happily pays his 1/2 of the bills. ($1300) a month which is low bc my child and I sacrificed being without a home to helo
lowed that. My expenses are now 10 times my fisnces. Is it unfair for me to ask him to help out a little more so that I can help cover my child’s expenses? I work 3 jobs and as of late my fisnce has been unemployed for 10 months

I think very least he should be paying back what he owes and plus even though not his child if he intends to marry you why are you not splitting bills every any way

Why can’t you get child maintenance through courts from your previous husband

My question would be why is your sense of self worth so low that you have to pay for your fiance in all of these ways?

You lent him money without being asked? He was unemployed for 1.5 years? Then another 10 months? Seriously, I despair.
Get rid of that freeloader and find a life partner who you would want your son to aspire to be like.

what does half of his bills include? Is it that he pays half the food, gas , electric etc. if he is paying half of everything he is contributing. Are you asking if he should contribute to your child

What positives does he bring to your life?

Do those positives outweigh how much he is costing you?

Sorry, you pay half the bills each yet the expenses of one child mean your outgoings are TEN times higher?
That makes no sense whatsoever. How could one child cost so much?

How are your expenses $13,000 a month?

Don't marry this guy. Leave him as a fiancé. DEFINITELY DON'T marry him without ring fencing your house and the finance you already have in it.

This guy is a cock lodger and free loader. Just get rid and you can do better.

If you are asking whether your fiancée should give you more money to contribute to dc’s costs, yabu. You should claim child maintenance from dc’s father for this.

Why are you staying with a man who is chronically unemployed? Yes, anyone can have a spell of bad luck, but there comes a point, and that point is well before 10 months, that you take any job available. This also isn’t his first long-term unemployment.

he has no work ethic and no pride if he is letting a single mother subsidize him.

I would chuck the fiancé out. You’d be better off. Don’t long how long you’ve been together, but he’s been out of work for over two years during that time. You’ve given him money that you could have spent on your child. He’s freeloading of you - you’re doing three jobs and he’s doing none , unless he’s doing all childcare, housework, shopping, cleaning etc…

If he's unemployed how can he pay you anything?

I don’t think he is unemployed anymore in the OP it says he was unemployed rather than he is currently unemployed

The last paragraph suggests he is unemployed again.

Let me explain a little further. I have a rental property I maintain.. my child’s dad does pay $500 a month to expenses. My child is in an activity that requires travel and he ranked 44 in the nation. He works hard in hopes of a scholarship. We have to travel to meets 5 hours away to compete. I am not expecting my Fiance to carry my entire load. Only when I have an unexpected expense that comes up that I can’t pay. My child drives so I have two car payments two insurances, two fuel bills two cars to maintain. Plus travel expenses meet expenses and equipment expenses. Just one of his tech suits costs $500 and they do not last long. Again.. my son and I sacrificed living without a home for 6 months to bring our payment down to $2200 a month when it would have been $3600. I also did other things to the house to make sure my energy bills were lower. So when there are repairs to the house I have to cover that as well. Groceries are mainly split 70% on my end with 30% on his.. I thought the very least to be fair he could cover more of the mortgage so that I can put the rest to my child’s activities and expenses.

"I work 3 jobs and as of late my fisnce has been unemployed for 10 months"

Read this again OP

And again.

You know what you need to do.

A 50/50 split of all bills is fine. Asking him to cover your teenage child’s car, is not.

You have one child - not two.

Child extra curriculars aside - You are doing all the carrying.

He saved enough money before he moved in with me. He is just now starting to take little jobs here and there.

You shouldn’t be allowing him to cover any of your mortgage and you shouldn’t marry him. You are at a stage in life where you have an almost adult child. Protect your assets.

Hmm with your update, it seems Yabu.

Your son is old enough to drive and is CHOOSING to undertake expensive hobbies/competing in the hope of future gain. Nothing wrong with that at all, but you shouldn’t be expected an unrelated adult to help fund it!

Sorry op but yabu. It's not your boyfriend's job to bail you out or subsidise your teenager's lifestyle. If you've leant him money then you need to discuss a payment plan to get it back.

If the child is old enough to drive, isn't he old enough to get a part time job to contribute to the expenses of a hobby that he chooses to do? How long should op be expected to bear all the costs?

(Not making any comment on the fiance)

No -given your update

Plus.. he has had to go to training camps which are about $1800 each. Last year I had to come up with $10,000 of camp expenses. I know you’ll say he doesn’t need that it is extravagant. It’s not when he is considered to be ranked 44th in the nation and the end game is a scholarship.