Joint bank account or not.

[Mamana127]

Hi could I please ask what other people do? I know every household is different, but what do majority of people do in times of money management in marriages. Im on a fact finding mission.
I recently married not too recent coming up to two years. But we lived together as partners for years.
Before marriage we both had separate accounts which we have maintained,
I work full time and earn OK my DH earns more than me.
We split everything in the middle. We have 1 kid together and two stepchildren each.
So my question is shouldn’t we have one joint account where all wages go? At the moment my DH wants us to open a joint account where we both deposit money for “running our lives” we both deposit the same amount.
I don’t know what he spends the rest of his money on and he is not interested in knowing what I spend my money on, however He forever says he is worried about money and is waiting for payday and I don’t understand why because he earns into six figures.
should I insist on a joint account rather than a bills account or it’s quite normal for people to live like we do?

50/50 definitely isn’t fair but I don’t think a proportional contribution is fair either, because the lower earner will also have less money to spend of their own, despite often doing more of the unpaid work in the household.

He does want a joint account. Read.

We don’t have a joint account. After getting married we continued the arrangement we had before marriage whereby some bills come out of his account, some come out of mine, and depending on how these fall one of us pays the other to make sure we’re both paying the same. We review that amount every 6 months or so make sure it’s still correct. It’s worked for the last 20 years for us.

We have both. It works for us.

We have a joint account for the mortgage and household expenses that we pay into 50:50 from our personal accounts. But we don't have children, which makes things a lot simpler.

Regardless of how you decide the split, and even if you decide to put everything into the same pot, I would still recommend each having a personal current account to receive your wages into (and that holds a rainy day float) and a joint account for all the household running costs to come out of. Both of you must be involved in how the joint account is set-up and run. Be realistic about setting up your finances for emergencies. I suggest (if you can afford it) that both partners have at least £10k in accessible (cash, not investments) personal savings separate from any joint accounts.

If you go the fully merged accounts route you still need an open and frank discussion about savings and tax planning.

Two joint accounts here, both salaries are paid into one account, there’s a standing order for a certain amount each month to be transferred to a second joint account that covers all the bills. We then each spend whatever we like, within reason, from what’s left. If one of us wanted something that was particularly expensive, we’d discuss it, but we both have similar attitudes to money so there’s never any problems.

Me and DH have our own accounts. Never had a joint account because we haven't needed to. Our set up works for us, and sounds fairer than your current situation. Dh earns more than me, so pays more of the bills. No rows about money, no formal bill splitting and no resentment.

We've been married over 20 years and have always had a joint account. DH earns significantly more than me but that is partly down to me sacrificing work to do childrearing, something he was happy to support.

I have a business account for my self employed work. DH is very organised with money and has everything planned to the last £1. This doesn't really allow for the way children and I need to be able to spend odd bits of money at short notice. So I keep some money back from my earnings in a separate account to pay for stuff for the kids or for me.

I’ve been married 15 years and we don’t have a joint account. DH transfers an amount to me and I whack it in a savings account because he admits he is useless as saving. He also has bipolar.
We earn similar and I’m also self employed so I like to keep things clean

However if he earned a shit ton more I think we’d have a joint account , simply because he’d go OTT

Not married, but mortgaged 😂

Joint account for the house & bills. Both contribute the same & pay everything house related from there.
We car share so petrol is every other tank (we take it in turns).
Food shop we split down the middle, regardless of what we buy & who eats it. We maintain this approach when we travel on business too so we both benefit from a ‘cheaper week’ of food.

If we have kids in the future, we’ll get another joint account for child specific costs (clothes, entertainment, childcare etc.)

If one of us has a considerable change in circumstances we’ll adjust the % split of JA contribution and food / petrol spend to reflect that.

We both earn about the same.

All our money is joint, we have £250pm each into our own accounts for spends. All leftover in the joint account goes into joint savings.

We started this after we were married, he earned 50% more than me but we were contributing 50/50 to joint account. I was getting into debt and he was blowing his money on stupid expensive hobbies and cars. In the end, having joint money has saved us over the years through my maternity leave, his redundancy etc. We now earn about the same and it's good to see our joint savings grow.

And actually I was the most resistant to combining income despite struggling to pay 50/50 as I was fiercely independent but it did end up working better for us.

Been married for nearly 40 years, we have always kept our own money, no joint accounts
i pay 1 bill out of my money and husband pays for every thing else.
Ive got a very healthy savings account and if anything happens to me my savings will be divided between my grandchildren,

He wants an account for bills, not for it all to be joint. Read.

We’ve always had a joint account, all money is shared. DH has always earned a lot more than me and I have done the bulk of childcare.
we consult each other about large purchases but otherwise both just spend what we want.
It has been easy for us though as we’re both sensible with money, not big spenders, have been together since 21 and, after the first few years, have not needed to budget carefully

All our money goes into one pot and then we get given back personal spending money (the same amount). We bring in different amounts; I'm the higher earner but have had multiple maternity leaves where that's not even the case. We're a team and that includes our finances.

We have a joint account for household spending (excludes car related stuff), and our own separate accounts. The amount we each contribute is proportional to our wages with me paying slightly more than him. I learned the hard way that it is not a good idea for all money to be in a shared account.

We have a joint account that we pay into pro rata to pay household bills, and our own personal accounts. Worked for us for 30 years. Can't understand why anyone would not want their own money as well as joint money. My adult children do the same.

One joint pot for us, my husband is the breadwinner bringing in 250k per year, I work part time from home which I work around family life and earn only 15k per year. He works a lot harder at work 5 days a week, I work less hard but over 7 days as kids/house etc falls to me. We also have joint savings/investments and individual investments (to make the most of tax relief etc). The arrangement works well for us

I don't like joint accounts as I have seen them used to scrutinise the he other person's spending.

My parents had one joint account for everything. My mother managed it all because my Dad hated having much to do with the finances. DH's parents always had separate accounts and that worked for them for over 50 years.

DH and I tried with a joint account but neither of us was really at all comfortable with it. He was just so used to people not having joint finances and by the time we were married I took had long been used to having my own account so I wasn't keen to change. The joint account was abandoned.

We have our own account and a joint one for household and child expenses. We sat down and worked out who would contribute what to it (slight difference innincome but not huge). DH has an expensive hobby so he funds that himself, I pay for my own ‘treats’ etc.

We have separate accounts, but anything to do with money is a joint affair and discussed openly.

My wife is the sole earner and I am a SAHP, with just child benefit coming in monthly. Mortgage and most bills get paid straight from DW's account, others are paid from mine. Most other costs - food, car, kids' stuff - are incurred by me and go on a credit card; DW transfers enough to pay the bills every month.

DW has her own cash savings, as do I, but most of our capital is in stocks and shares ISAs, or will be eventually. These of course have to be individual but I have complete access to DW's accounts (AJ Bell allows you to link them) and manage them.

Joint account here, nice and simple.

Why are you paying 50% if you're earning less than him?

We get our wages paid into our own accounts but transfer the vast majority into the joint account. We each keep £300 a month for our own spends (phone bill etc) in our own account. We then transfer a certain amount from the joint account into joint savings. The amount we keep in our own accounts has varied over the years depending on our income and outgoings but we've always kept the same amount each for personal spends even when we've earned different amounts.

When we have DC we'll switch to all money including child benefit being paid into joint account and then transfer a small amount each for personal spends.

We only have joint accounts and shared money. All salaries and money pooled together and spent together.