Help - how to do this fairly?

[Gravitasdepleted]

My partner owns a house worth about £370k and I own one worth about £670 (no mortgages). We are talking about living together and possibly doing this in my house. I have one daughter at home who will be moving out and going to uni in 2026. But my house needs some work done to it, it's going to cost about £150k and can't be avoided if we stay there.

Partner is happy to sell their house, and invest some of the proceeds in mine to fund the renovation. We don't want to get married, but can't figure out how to financially structure this so it's fair to both of us. It's hard to know how much the renovation would add to the value of the house, not certain that it would improve it by what it costs. But likely cheaper paying stamp duty and moving costs, plus we both like the house and would be happy to stay in it.

How do you think we could financially structure this so it's fair to both of us? I can add him to the deeds I guess, but I dont even know by how much. Or should I borrow the money off him with a contract, and interest, like a personal mortgage. Or no interest as he is living in the house with me? I just dont know.
Any advice would be much appreciated, thank you.

If its cheaper to move, as you suggest - then move and get your own place that is a together place.

Then you can both put in 50% each for the new home

Sorry my mistake it would not be cheaper to move, and we dont really want to. We have been looking in our area for ages and everything on the market needs lots of work too.

He rents his house out, uses (some of) the rent to fund the renovations using a mortgage. This is effectively his 'rent money' to you. All bills - council tax/water/energy etc - are split equally.

Yes, you will benefit from your house increasing in value, but he will benefit from his property's increase in value too.

Would this work?

Hmm, it’s complicated if the renovations are not going to add £150k value to the house. If they did then your partner could pay for them, and then have % equity (roughly 18%?) in the house.

if not, then can you pay for the renovations yourself and charge your partner rent towards the upkeep of the property?

670+ 150=820

if your partner can raise £410k then he could buy half the house from you and also fund half the repairs.
you would then be equal going forward

pros - you could then use some of the cash for your DD as a deposit on a house if you wished
cons - if you split up you would have to sell thenhouse toneach get you money out of it

Surely you own it as a ratio/percentage each and then you both share any increase in value in the agreed ratio.

Thanks everyone, I can take a mortgage out for the work, and actually that is what I was planning to do, until the living together idea came up. At the moment he is here most nights of the week, which isnt great for either of our properties. I feel like the wear and tear and maintenance of the house we are both mostly in falls on me, and has done for years. And he gets no time to maintain his. Splitting the equity might work, although really is a guess as to what everything is or will be worth.

Update: so I've shown him all the ideas here and his response is... the only thing he is willing to consider is if we both add each others name to both properties, 50/50 on both. Then he would help me with the mortgage to fund the renovation. What do you think about that?

So he gives you half of £370k in exchange for half of £670k? Good deal for him, isn’t it, but I wouldn’t be doing that!

Regardless of whether this is a good idea, him coming to the table with “this is the only thing I will consider” would rile me somewhat. What is his reasoning for this being the only option? Did he explain himself or just down the law?

He said he wants us to be equals, and not feel like has less say than me. But he has a great pension and I don't, I had planned to downsize at some point to help fund pension years. And he won't get married as he would lose the pension he currently gets (from his previous partner who sadly passed away).

Then he would help me with the mortgage to fund the renovation

Generous of him helping you, after you give him half your equity??

Please proceed with caution as some red flags as he seems to want things his way. From experience a partner can change once they realise you are financially tied and especially if he has convinced you to give him 100ks.

Why would you share your equity 50/50??

He said he wants us to be equals, and not feel like has less say than me

So he is prepared to pay you half for the current value and half of the renovation cost?
You would receive 335k from him and fund £75k for renovations so leaves you with 260k for pension?

But with respect to the property you own, you are not equals, you have more than him.

if he wants ‘to be equals’ then why doesn’t he sell his house and buy 50% of yours? You would have cash to fund your pension or whatever you wanted and you would jointly own the property you live in.

His suggestion is not fair either and you shouldn't accept it.

Putting aside the £150k loan which you'd go 50/50 on.

In exchange for a 50% share of your house he would get £335k of equity, whereas in return you would only get £185k in his. Hmmm seems a bit weighted in his favour don't you think?

Also, your house could grow significantly in value once youve done the renovation, so his share could get bigger whilst your share in his house effectively remains the same. Not a good deal on paper for you either.

I can see why he'd be really keen to push this as the only option!

In real terms you could effectively be handing over £335k of your child's inheritance. Wills don't always protect a child's inheritance and can be disputed.

If he wants to be equals, he buys 50% of your house. Kind of convenient that you have the more expensive house and that he also will not marry. I wouldn't do this, I'd stick to your original plan and protect your future along with your DDs, especially as 'the only thing he is willing to consider' is that he gets £335k of your house in exchange for £185k of his. That would be madness.

In reality many pensions stop paying widow / widowers pension if they know you live with someone as if you were married but wording matters. While he officially lives in house b and pays council tax there it's ok but if he is officially living at your address it might be different.

Thanks everyone it didn't feel very fair to me. And he is not willing to consider any of the other fairer options. Actually he's just walked out accusing me of not trusting and trying to manipulate him.

I think that reaction tells you what you need to know OP.

It's horrible when people show their true colours 😕

If he puts 150k in he gets a proportionate % ownership based on the value of the house after the work has been carried out.

Thanks everyone I think he's just scared, oh well. Adulting can be quite crappy sometimes!

I’m sorry OP but the fact he even suggested this tells you that he’s trying to take advantage of you.

He's not scared OP, he's just trying to feather his own nest by taking from yours. He tried to bulldoze you and you didn't give in, sounds like he's stropped off because he didn't get what he wanted. Bet you get the silent treatment now and he blames this nest of vipers for just being bitter man haters 😂🤣

Please keep putting your DD first as the next generation are going to need all the financial help we can give them.

Nope. He gets richer and you get poorer.

He sells his house for £370k.
He gives you £335k to buy 50% equity in your house.
You contribute £75k of the £335k for renovations. (Invest the remaining £260k for your pension).
He contributes £35k leftover from his house sale and takes out a mortgage in his sole name for the other £40k to pay for his share of renovations.
You are then 50/50 owners on the house.