My sons 3rd birthday

[Lou9620]

Hiya
i dont know what to do, it’s my sons 3rd birthday tommorrow I can’t afford anything for it he’s only asked for a Spider-Man birthday cake but I have 42p in my account not even enough to buy the ingredients let alone buy one.

bit of back story his dad left me 2 weeks ago out of the blue. I had to give up my job as I then didn’t have childcare to continue as I have no family around me. I’m paying a bailiff of weekly every Friday and I can’t afford to pay them either tommorrow as I was already living pay check to pay check

I just don’t know anymore I feel like such a failure

When do you get some money in?
Tell your ds that you'll celebrate his birthday then. At that age he won't really know better and what a birthday is all about.

Hello everyone
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I think I just needed to rant tbh

Where are you, OP?

I’m not asking for money. I was having a rant and looking for advice or something I can do I have. Someone suggested dancing with my child. I can do this. Someone suggested pictures of Spider-Man from a printer and I can’t quite do that but we can paint him. Whilst I understand you will get people who are not genuine I am 100%

Warwickshire uk

Next month on the 11th

My son does understand what a birthday is and he’s well aware it’s his birthday tommorrow as nursery sang happy birthday today for tommorrow ect

Sorry, OP. Bit of a stretch for me I’m afraid, I’m much further north.

I don’t think you are asking for money: if you were reasonably local I’d have been happy to drop some toys our 4 year old grandson has outgrown off with you.

Anyone in Warwickshire who can do the same?

Failing that, OP, do you have any Tesco vouchers or similar lurking anywhere? Is there a toy library/book library in your area that you can quickly sign up to? Your 3 year old won’t understand and you can return/replace as and when you have some leeway.

Really sorry you find yourself in this situation.

Yes, but he's 2 at the moment. Even with nursery singing happy birthday I think you could say the cake will be coming later etc and he won't understand enough to mind.

I hope you can have a nice day tomorrow.

I used to have Costa, greggs and Krispy Kreme who all offered me a free sweet treat for my birthday. Could you download the apps and see if any would work with his birthday?

Lidl plus app also gives a free birthday doughnut, maybe sign up with his birthday

On Facebook we have a local Free group where people can post for things they need. Someone posted a similar situation to this and they were inundated with offers of toys, cakes, wrapping paper, balloons. If you look there may well be similar where you live, people are always so generous.

I'm so sorry you are struggling. Just know that this is the current shit circumstances you are in, and not anything to do with you as a mum. You haven't failed as a mum just because you can't afford to buy anything for your boys birthday tomorrow, you can still make it a fun day. Quality time doing fun activities and games he enjoys. Kids always only remember how we made them feel, not what we get them. I know that doesn't help you right now, but it's true.
Happy birthday to your boy for tomorrow, and I hope you both enjoy lots of love, fun and laughter together ♥️

As you have stopped your job have you signed up for universal credit ? If not then do it now. You can ask for an advance but don't be stupid with it. Ask for as little as you can manage with. £30 to get a wee present and a cake . ? Don't get more than you need as you have to pay it back. Over a period of time and it sounds like you don't have much to start with.

What about your child's family ? Paternal grandparents ? Do you have a relationship with them ? Will they know it's his birthday ? Would they help if they did - if your family can't ?

Just have a nice day with him tomorrow. Games and songs and a trip to the park (weather permitting). He's turning 3, he can easily be distracted. When you're back on your feet and have found a new job, you can do a belated birthday party with a cake and a present or two.

I'm sorry you've experienced domestic violence but glad you are safe now. I hope your financial situation improves too.

The National trust are offering a free pass at the moment, if that is an option.
Love the idea of some kitchen dancing. No matter what you do, he will still feel special on his birthday.
Have you heard of ‘the five minute mum’ She has some great ideas for games using household items.

https://www.nationaltrust.org.uk/visit/escape-into-autumn

https://fiveminutemum.com

I'm not near you sorry otherwise I would have come round with a cake and toys I'm up in Bradford.
A few ideas -
Local park, feed the ducks
Birthday dance party
Visit a pet shop
Movie day / jazz up some snacks and make a little picnic in your room (any fairy lights?)

Why would nursery sing happy birthday for him today when his birthday is tomorrow?

I would contact local kids charity shops and explain your situation, I am sure they would be happy to help with some toys for your son.

This would be a good time to knock on neighbours doors and get to know them. Explain the situation and ask if they happen to have some biscuits or cakes you could replace

If you have any existing spiderman toys, you can use that to decorate something. I wouldn't be any good at making figures out of icing, so have often used existing toys. Add it to the side of his existing breakfast and say that the cake comes along a bit later this year. He is 3, so won't fully understand the cultural birthday traditions, or time passing. Then when you get money next, get a Swiss roll for less than £2. If you have a road whatsapp, or local facebook group, you can ask if anyone has a single candle, or any used ones they would otherwise bin.

You have done a good thing getting out of a bad situation with your ex. Hold on to that to tide you through to better times.

Can you cobble together some kind of picnic from what's in your cupboard?

Take him to the park and tell him he can have extra time to play as it's his birthday.

Can you set up a little den in the living room or your bedroom and he gets a special sleepover in it? Full it with cushions or toys.

Can you make a bit of bunting? Cut triangles out of paper or card. It could just be out of the recycling, he won't care and cereal boxes etc are usually colourful.

If he's out at nursery just try and do something to the house so it seems different. Do you have Christmas decorations? You could shove up some lights or tinsel.

Are there any food banks or food waste boxes in your area? We have one that's for anyone as it is about reducing what is thrown away.

Longer term, you need to do something about the debt. Have you spoken to Step change? If you can't pay then some sort of DMP is essential.

Also at that age mine just liked unwrapping things.

Does he have any toys he might have forgotten about? Just wrap them up. Doesn't matter in what..

Or ask on your community FB page if anyone is getting rid of any small toys for free. I'd have been delighted to offload some lumps of plastic to another house. Just word it politely to say you are sorry but you can't offer any money but if anyone is having a clear out you're looking for boys toys for a three year old.

GrazingSheep · Today 21:22
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Why would nursery sing happy birthday for him today when his birthday is tomorrow?

Because he may not be in tomorrow. Not rocket science.