Page 3 | Dh used my credit card without consent

Bjorkdidit · 07/09/2024 05:55

Are you being charged interest on the balance? That's what would annoy me the most about this.

One of you needs to apply for a 0% balance transfer card so you can pay the money back interest free.

AppleDumplingWithCustard · 07/09/2024 06:29

The expenses seem to be essential family stuff. It’s not as if he’s blown it all on wine, women and song. Perhaps you shouldn’t have given him a card on your account if you don’t want him to use it.

glitches78 · 07/09/2024 06:32

OP seriously how did you think these things were being paid for? Do you contribute financially to bills?

Tristar15 · 07/09/2024 06:32

YABU

soberholic · 07/09/2024 06:37

StormingNorman · 06/09/2024 14:15

He’s an authorised cardholder and he alone pays the bill. He used a card he is legally allowed to use for family expenses and has a responsible plan for paying it back.

Where’s the problem?

Yeah I think that's the general consensus on this tread. I expected he'd stolen the credit card from her wallet

Tel12 · 07/09/2024 06:39

You need to talk about you spending as a couple. Looks like you are having holidays and building work that you can't afford to pay for and you have no idea.

Luio · 07/09/2024 06:40

But he pays the bills on the card so I don’t see the problem. If you moan at him about the finances, you should sort them out instead of leaving it all to him.

Wheelz46 · 07/09/2024 06:46

So you authorised him to have an additional card which he used to make purchases, to which he is making payments back to!

So he hasn't used your card without your consent, he has used his card which you authorised.

Now had he not had an additional card and he removed your card from your purse to make the purchases, then he has used your card without consent and that would be considered fraud!

IDontHateRainbows · 07/09/2024 06:55

Jeez, I'd love a situation where only I can spend on the card bit only he is paying it off.

Why did he not feel he could be upfront with you I wonder.

Solonga · 07/09/2024 06:59

So how was the car bill to be otherwise paid

flyinghen · 07/09/2024 06:59

He has a card, he can use it, that is literally the point? I really don't see the issue here as these were all shared expenses, not to mention he's the one who always pays the bill? I was expecting you to say he used £2.8k on a new road bike or something.

Solonga · 07/09/2024 07:01

Why don't you pay the bill for your card

2Old2Tango · 07/09/2024 07:01

I agree with others. Get your finances sorted. Do you work and contribute to expenses?

Secondly, either get him removed as second cardholder or cancel the card and ask him to take one out in his own name if he's the only one using it. You are not overreacting at him not telling you he's used the card. It's your credit record getting destroyed if the CC bills don't get paid.

RogersOrganismicProcess · 07/09/2024 07:05

Kazooing · 06/09/2024 16:41

Thanks guys. He sorts all of the finances so I think he just thought it was ok. I agree that our communication is poor. I think he was embarrassed to not have the money and thought I would moan if he told me, so he just used the card!!

Well he’s right isn’t he? You are moaning, over him working out a legitimate way to pay for family costs, which he alone is clearing. It isn’t like he paid for something he alone would benefit from, with shared income that you contributed towards.

You sound a little controlling.

TemuSpecialBuy · 07/09/2024 07:09

DownThePubWithStevieNicks · 06/09/2024 14:19

He’s a second cardholder, you say it’s ’our’ fallback and ‘we’ use it. You’re essentially operating a joint account in one person’s name, which is a bit unconventional.

As others have said, you need to discuss money more. If you’re leaving him to deal with it all, I don’t think you can get too worked up at how he deals with it!

I wouldn’t like someone running up debt in my name, so I wouldn’t give them access to my accounts!

This.

agree with others YAB a bit U because it’s joint purchases.
its not like he went wild in Ibiza with the lads…

marcopront · 07/09/2024 07:20

2Old2Tango · 07/09/2024 07:01

I agree with others. Get your finances sorted. Do you work and contribute to expenses?

Secondly, either get him removed as second cardholder or cancel the card and ask him to take one out in his own name if he's the only one using it. You are not overreacting at him not telling you he's used the card. It's your credit record getting destroyed if the CC bills don't get paid.

These things had to be paid for some how. If it wasn't on this card it would presumably be on another one so one half of the couple would have their credit record affected.

The OP seems completely unaware of how things are paid for in this relationship. I don't think she is bothered about her credit record.

Soontobe60 · 07/09/2024 07:29

Kazooing · 06/09/2024 16:41

Thanks guys. He sorts all of the finances so I think he just thought it was ok. I agree that our communication is poor. I think he was embarrassed to not have the money and thought I would moan if he told me, so he just used the card!!

How much did you contribute to those household / holiday costs?

Debtfreegoals · 07/09/2024 07:38

It’s not like the transactions are for gambling etc. so try not to overreact. I think he should have discussed using the card though seeing as it’s in your name and then at least you know what’s going on.

I do think it’s strange that you didn’t know where these big expenses were coming from, maybe you and husband need to put everything down on paper to evaluate spending and go from there.

Donkeyfromshrek · 07/09/2024 07:43

This whole set up doesn't sound good. He sorts all the money but the debt is in your name so your responsibility. Do you have an income? Are you able to pay the card off if he doesn't?

Andwegoroundagain · 07/09/2024 07:51

RogersOrganismicProcess · 07/09/2024 07:05

Well he’s right isn’t he? You are moaning, over him working out a legitimate way to pay for family costs, which he alone is clearing. It isn’t like he paid for something he alone would benefit from, with shared income that you contributed towards.

You sound a little controlling.

Show quote history

So either he sorts finances and then you don't complain on how he does.
Or you do jointly and agree together how to sort

Right now you're doing neither!

BeavisMcTavish · 07/09/2024 07:55

Kazooing · 06/09/2024 14:07

Hey,

I have a credit card that dh is a second cardholder for. It’s my account though and in my name solely. It’s our fallback and we use it if we’re running low. DH has a direct debit set up from his bank to pay the bill so I don’t really take much notice.
I happened to login yesterday and saw that the balance is £2800 which shocked me, I can see that there are 3 large transactions that account for this - one for the garage that repaired our car (£1200) another for the hotel we stayed in at summer ( £800) and £800 to b&q for building materials- we had some work done on our garden.

I confronted dh who explained that he hadn’t got the funds up pay got everything upfront so used the card. I can see he’s set up a monthly standing order of £500 to clear it over 6 months.

I'm annoyed that he didn’t ask my permission. He thinks I’m overreacting as he pays the bill so it’s only my card in name, it’s true that I contribute nothing towards the payments.

am I overreacting?

Massive overreaction.. did you not know you didn’t have the cash, or is the issue that though he does the finances this happens to be your name and you worried if you split? (Which isn’t a great sign).

we have 2-3 cards in various babes and we both use what’s handy, or getting the most reward points, or attached to the online shop we’re using..

unless your issue is that as a family you borrowed collectively for things you feel you shouldn’t have done I don’t see the issue in a stable relationship.

junebirthdaygirl · 07/09/2024 08:07

Definitely would both need to plan if you have money for a holiday before going. It's a luxury that you both cannot afford at the moment. Car repairs are different as that's an emergency. This whole episode is good as it points out you both need to have a budget meeting and , if possible, have a saving account where some money goes every month towards next year's holiday. If no money in it don't go. Same for the garden.