To think that DH needs. Reality check

[Autumnine]

AIBU to DH or does he need a reality check?

so in the grand scheme of things, I suppose we are fairly financially secure. we both have decent jobs, and have a house that we like which is mortgaged. Mortgage has increased by a fair chunk recently, which I know is the case for lots of others too. Thankfully we are able to make the higher payments, however inevitably it has eaten into the spare money that we have leftover after everything is paid.

We decided to draw up a budget, which is something that we never really done before. Prior to this we are just sort of let our money sorted self out, which in hindsight was probably not a good strategy! We have worked out that after we have paid for all of our essential bills, food, childcare, and saved into our emergency fund then we should both be left with £600 per month, that each of us can spend on whatever we want. This is money that isn’t allocated to any pot.

dh is moaning and feels that this isn’t enough. I think that is crazy. I think that’s £600 of essentially pocket money is something that should be considered a luxury, and not something to moan about. He is more of a fritterer than me, and I think he is worried that he will burn through that money very quickly. I am more inclined to save mine to buy something bigger after a few months.

Is he unreasonable by thinking that £600 a month spare is not a good situation, or does he need a reality check?

DP has more spending money than me because he has a more expensive hobby. We talked about it, agreed it and if I want/need more money one month I take it out of savings/conringency/his share and he has less that month.

Of course it's relevant to OP.

we should both be left with £600 per month, that each of us can spend on whatever we want

Am reading this correctly? £600 each?

£600 each of personal discretionary spending.
Back on planet Earth, I would struggle to spend that.

We have this amount each. It really depends on the person to manage it well but it's plenty really. I tend to spend mine every month (clothes, toiletries, hair done, drinks with friends etc), whereas my husband can go weeks or months spending next to nothing then blows it all on some new work suits / shoes etc.

I do think it's enough for day to day personal spending.

Does this include meals out with friends etc? And toiletries, hair, coffees etc?

Yep, definitely only men who don’t ‘get’ finances.

@honeylulu it’s a cheap dopamine hit I guess. They are quite addictive

I think it is 600 each

In the OP she states:
'we should both b left with £600 per month,'

So they have £1200 between them.

That's £7,200 a year of fun money.

Does he have a gambling addiction or something?

£600 each. He's being ridiculous.

Well, what's his alternative?

He gets more, you get less?
You don't have an emergency fund?
You default on the bills?
The children don't get new shoes?

Where is he suggesting the money comes from for his spending?

£600 each ??That is £1200 per month disposable income for the household . Better to put it all in a savings account that you both can access if necessary and by mutual consent . You seem to imply that if he has £600 he will think he has to spend it monthly. Very unrealistic and immature attitude towards money .

We have £100 each a month "pocket money". DH spends his on football tickets, some clothes. I spend mine on chin hair removal, pub quiz, maybe cafe or night out, any clothes i need. Good times. DH regularly runs up debt on his which annoys me but I am unreasonable 😅

This.

Where does he suggest he gets more money from?

Besides, genuinely if £600 is far too low for him despite it being obviously what is left (and has been recently, even before the budget) then I'd be suspecting some form of money problem. Gambling or something? Because it starts to less feel like it's about the amount and more that it's about the new focus on what he is spending that he isn't comfortbable with.

I can’t comprehend not saving more lol. He’s crazy!

That's what DH and I have each. It's amazing how quickly it goes on our not very luxury lifestyles. So for me that funds contact lenses, phone, subscriptions like Amazon Prime, a weekly yoga class and a hair cut every few months (£150 if I get it coloured). I get the train to work about 5 times a month which will take up around £80 of it. A monthly catch up with friends for a meal easily costs £60. I put £50 of that into a pot for an annual trip with the girls. Right now I need new glasses which will cost me £300 (special lenses needed). I have friends who regularly eat out (twice a week) and buy far more in the way of beauty products and clothes than I do so I can only assume have more than £600 a month discretionary.
I'm not suggesting it's not a lot, but it doesn't exactly fund a life of luxury.

@Heatherbell1978 it's a bit unusual to have your medical (eyesight) and commuting costs come out of your discretionary spend though? Discretionary spend for us is literally just "fun" money for things we want, not what we need.

It doesn’t really matter how restrictive he finds it if that’s all the money that is left.

Perhaps suggest him getting a second job, so he has more money and less time to spend it?

I do love a humble brag

some people do t even have £6 spare let alone £600, your out of touch husband needs a slap

I would bet he got used to spending what should have been your spending money - greedy twat.

£150 a week.
Spare.
Nice

I think if I have over £300 (and I pay for toddler activities), i genuinely feel like I’m rolling in it

£600 a month each, me and my DP can only dream of.

I guess we view discretionary slightly differently and it's money attributed to things only relevant for us. My lenses are just for me, DHs gym membership is just for him. Our phone contracts are our own too. I WFH but if I choose to go to the office, I pay train fare.