How are single mothers in this situation meant to live.

[pinkbubbleandcandyfloss]

I work full time and earn £40k
I am very lucky and have a tiny flat that I rent out (I have tried to sell but it won't move), because of this I am entitled to zero help from the government. This brings in £1100 but most of it is eaten up with paying the mortgage on it.

My rent alone for a two bedroom place is £1300, gas and elec £250 a month, council tax £140 + mortgage on flat around £700 a month. (This is buy to let interest only)! I then have to pay over £1k on nursery, which I can only do because my parents help me!
In all honesty I feel in such a helpless situation. I try and work freelance in the evening to bring in a little extra money and my ex pays what he has to £350. I work bloody hard and have nothing to show for it.

Sorry not sure of the point of this post, but why are our electricity bills allowed to go up again? It's actually hard to live a modest but nice life in the south east unless you're with a partner and earn mega bucks!

It feels if you live in the South East, as a single, working parent you need to be on at least £80k to live.

It’s absolutely soul destroying….however it would probably help if fathers weren’t able to walk away and not contribute to their children’s upbringing so easily

I agree with this. I'm not technically a single mother any more as I have a new partner and we share costs equally, but I was on my own for four years previously. I was on 30k then and had a mortgage and despite my mortgage payments being relatively low at the time, I struggled so much. My ex only had to pay me £30 per week (and still does), despite my childcare costs going through the roof due to him moving away, he didn't have to contribute any more than the bare minimum that the CMS calculator said. He refuses to give a penny extra towards anything our DS needs.
It's so unfair. I don't have any suggestions, the cost of living is through the roof and it's so much worse for single parents, you really have my sympathy.

@Jeezitneverends yes! I always think how lucky my ex has it! He gets to see my child for 'quality' time each week, pays bare minimum! And has none of the actual life admin and day to day mental strain of working full time and looking after a toddler!!

@Cornishmama1990 totally! I worked
My arse off to get my little flat and now I have it I get penalised! I'm not a lucrative landlord and I have to pay tax on my interest only mortgage payments -insanity!!!

Your ex should be helping pay the nursery fees as he would if you were together! Or taking the child more.

so sorry OP

That sounds a lot on gas and electricity. Mine is half that and I am in a similar situation.

Having been through this unfortunately there's no way of making them do this :( it's down to their own discretion after what they have to pay you as a legal minimum, which is a pittance especially if they aren't high earners.

Can you move back into the one bedroom flat
you own?

It's shit. Could you move back to your flat just for the nursery years?

@MidnightPatrol it's an hour away from where I live and really not big enough for me and four year old. If I got truly desperate there is that safety net.

@Haggisfish3 I say gas and electricity. It's all electricity as I don't have gas in my flat

My ex constantly tries to get me to do the pick up when he sees his son EOW, which would be an almost four hour trip for me on one of the two Sundays each month I have a 'break'. He says him driving our son home impacts on their quality time 🤣

@HerewegoagainSS he 'should' but legally he doesn't have to as he has her one or two nights a week.

How old is dd? If she's four is she not starting school?

Why is your gas and electric so high?

I pay £60 a month for a three bedroom place and am in credit.

Similar happened to me. I was on less money though. Couldn't afford childcare so had to stop working. I evicted my tenants and moved into my tiny one bedroom flat with two children. I had a few months wait for the tenants to leave and spent that time in a single bed with two children in a relatives house using the food bank and selling everything I owned to survive. Finally able to get what was then tax credits to help with childcare I returned to work once I lived in the flat I owned. One of my kids turned out to be disabled so had to stop work to care for him. Now I have no way to pay more than the interest on the mortgage and will never be able to work again. If I didn't own my property I would be entitled to a 3 bedroom property but as I own it's tough shit.

Meanwhile kids father gets to work socialise and have his happy life unencumbered. If he had paid half the kids costs and half childcare I would have managed. Instead I spent months washing my hair in washing up liquid and filling my pockets with biscuits at church to feed my kids

@longdistanceclaraclara she is four in October! Sorry just wrote four as easier than say three and ten months xx

@OldTinHat I don't know. I was paying under in the winter, so they upped my monthly payment to clear the debt! I am with Octopus so might look at if I can save!

Also, going to write to my new Labour MP and ask for a meeting. I in no way expect the state to pay for me, but there SHOULD be allowances for hard working single parents (eg I shouldn't have to pay tax on my mortgage payments). Married people get tax breaks... it's insanity to me!

Could you do a childminder rather than nursery as it'll be cheaper?

Submit your meter readings and check your account balances as that seems like a huge amount for a 2 bedroom flat, I'm paying less than £120 for gas and electric with octopus. It's ridiculous that what seems like a decent salary (and you'll probably get slated by MN for complaining about being skint when so many earn much less) but it really doesn't go anywhere these days. Could you sell the flat you rent out and use the equity towards buying a 2 bed to live in (I don't know if that would work out cheaper than paying rent)?

Married people get tax breaks... it's insanity to me!

What tax breaks? I think I've missed that memo for around 28 years.

😅

Do you get 30 hours free for your DD?

@MiddleAgedDread tried twice to sell it but can't keep it empty for long so have to re let! My middle class problem is I have the flat!!! If I didn't I could buy a two bed flat where I live, pay less a month in rent as I'd be paying a mortgage etc! Thanks for understanding xxx

@Mostunexpected yep! But when you work full time it barely touches side as I have to pay an extra £1k a month!

@leafybrew here you go www.gov.uk/married-couples-allowance