How are single mothers in this situation meant to live.

[pinkbubbleandcandyfloss]

I work full time and earn £40k
I am very lucky and have a tiny flat that I rent out (I have tried to sell but it won't move), because of this I am entitled to zero help from the government. This brings in £1100 but most of it is eaten up with paying the mortgage on it.

My rent alone for a two bedroom place is £1300, gas and elec £250 a month, council tax £140 + mortgage on flat around £700 a month. (This is buy to let interest only)! I then have to pay over £1k on nursery, which I can only do because my parents help me!
In all honesty I feel in such a helpless situation. I try and work freelance in the evening to bring in a little extra money and my ex pays what he has to £350. I work bloody hard and have nothing to show for it.

Sorry not sure of the point of this post, but why are our electricity bills allowed to go up again? It's actually hard to live a modest but nice life in the south east unless you're with a partner and earn mega bucks!

It feels if you live in the South East, as a single, working parent you need to be on at least £80k to live.

I’m pretty sure it’s for those born after April 1935

No. It's before. That's why everyone is saying it's before.

There's also another scheme, whereby married people earning less than £12.5k pa can transfer a tiny portion of their unused personal tax allowance to their spouse, but that's so minor, it's little more than a gesture.

Under certain circs they can disregard the capital (equity) but they won't disregard the rental income.

The answer is to live in the flat or sell it. There aren't many flats that are actually unsellable.

OMG the irony. It's a bad look to accuse other people of not understanding when you're this confused.

Here look at the screenshot. If ALL the following apply.

I think you're conflating two different schemes.

This is the (entirely distinct) Marriage Allowance which will save you £252 a year, if you're married and one of you earns less that £11ish per year.

www.gov.uk/marriage-allowance

I think that cms or shares custody arrangements should reflect the real cost of raising a child, ie 50% of childcare, food, clothing etc, not be a crappy token contribution. This would be the only way to release women and children from poverty and benefits traps.

OP your post resonates with me. I spent 6 years as a single parent working full time and receiving either zero or very little help from my DC's father. I'd feel resentful of even my friends on out of work benefits as they always seemed to have so much more money than me, even though I worked all hours. I couldn't afford to pay for my DC to do clubs or go out at lunch with colleagues, it was all about paying the mortgage on our tiny house, the bills and the childcare. It was exhausting and miserable but the alternative was to give up.

Finally now I'm glad I did stay in work. My salary has risen quite substantially in the past 2 years. I am in a much better place. I also met a new partner and got married and obviously sharing living costs helps.

I don't have any advice, only to say its certainly no walk in the park being a truly single parent. You are doing the jobs and shouldering all the responsibility of two people. Doing what you are doing is amazing and life never stays static. I wish you the best.

Income from capital is disregarded too. It really is worth op looking into universal credit

Income from capital is disregarded too. It really is worth op looking into universal credit

And how long would she get to sell it, before they started taking the equity into account again? It can't be unlimited.

Initially, six months. But it can be extended if you can show you're making every attempt to sell. Once the house sells, she'd be expected to live off the capital until it's depleted down below £16k, when she could again claim UC.

It's not ideal, obviously op put her savings into the property and was hoping it might give some long term financial security, but it's at least one of a set of bad options.

@ScotRightNow thank you so much for your lovely post. To feel seen and heard by you and a few others is greatly appreciated! Hearing your story has made me feel really positive! I can't ever imagine living with someone again, but that doesn't mean to say my situation won't stay the same forever. I think I'm just mentally exhausted xxxx thanks again

No advice here really but similar situation. I earn £50K so am in the higher tax bracket and not entitled to child benefit. I have 2 children and get £150 a month from the father. But mine are school age so luckily no nursery fees.
South is super expensive for rent etc.
If yours is starting school next year hang in there … it will get easier … it is relentless though x x

Remember the child benefit limit is after tax. Can you pay more into your pension to reduce it under the child benefit limit? And it’s higher than fifty grand now.

In fact it’s now sixty grand-I just checked.

I agree with you op it's totally unfair I cannot believe my ex is playing the doting dad routine while not paying half the nursery fees, he is a total bastard. Fees should be subsidized way more than they are, I'm glad some help has just come in though as my part time nursery bill has just halved. I also own my flat and pre child had a great disposable income. My ex whose idea it was to have a baby still has a great disposable income and is constantly on holiday. Fuming.

Thanks for that - as I honestly thought - Christ - have we been missing a trick since 1998 here?

And despite being an oldie, no - I was not born before 1935..

Secondly, we have both always earned above the lower threshold of tax.

To benefit as a couple, you (as the lower earner) must normally have an income below your Personal Allowance - this is usually £12,570.

But had I been - I could have saved £257 per year in tax as part of the Marriage Allowance. Woohoo!!!

Basically - I don't think you'd see any tax benefits to being married if that makes you feel better.

There are 2 marriage tax allowance things

Married couples allowance - must be born before 1935. Ie about 90. A throwback from when married women often had no income or pension of their own.

Marriage allowance - for low earners. One must be a basic rate tax payer (below around 40k) and one a non tax payer (below about 12k). This will save you about £250 a year in tax.

I hear you, OP. I'm widowed and it's tough. I'm only recently entitled to child benefit with the changes! I feel like the definition of the squeezed middle.

When I'm feeling down about it, I remember that my child won't always need childcare, that every year I work is an opportunity to further my career (even if I am treading water for now during the primary years) and paying into my pension. I'm demonstrating good work ethic to my child, and while the system is totally unfair, I wouldn't want to give it all up and be left with nothing in a few years.

Hang in there OP. You have 12 months until your dd goes to school and you will be significantly better off.

In the meantime, your electricity bill is ludicrously high. Take a close look at the monthly readings, check your direct debit and then look at every appliance you use. It really doesn't sound right.

I've been a single mum for 13 years and while you're struggling this year, it will get better from next September xx