Leaving everything to the child not partner in a will

[Orangeoranges42]

Been with partner 10 years
lived together 7
We have one child aged 3
Both mid 30’s
no other children or previous marriages etc
We’re 50/50 on our house and DP recently brought a little flat, mainly from family inheritance.

In our will DP wants to leave this property and savings etc to our child, not me.

Should anything happen to either of us the house insurance pays our house off pretty much and it transfers to the other person.

Is it a bit strange he wants to leave the second property to our child not me? Although our mortgage would be paid off with the general cost of life I’d still probably struggle. Our house is only a 2 bed, perfectly nice but nothing extraordinary so I couldn’t really downsize etc nor could I imagine wanting to.

I’m loyal always paid my half etc. just not sure if this sits right. I was brought up in a house where everything goes in one pot, where we pay everything % of salary into one pot.

There are a lot of threads on here showing how things can go wrong with second families and inheritance

Given that this money comes from his family, I can see why he wants to secure it for his child.

It isn't even necessarily about not trusting your intentions, but people don't always understand or think through the consequences of their actions - say if you got remarried and then died without making a will, your new husband would inherit.

I think it's fair enough - you get a mortgage free house and your child is set up with a flat (or the money from it)

Hes done the right thing.

Any inheritance, even marriage couples is separate unless used to jointly benefit.

You seem to want to have the benefits of being a wife without the marriage.

It that it would make any difference as his intentions are clear - he’s thinking of your child.

My point was it minimises (potentially) inheritance tax for the child. I know that IHT is zero between married couples. And I did say that there are other consequences.

The main point really would be to ask the OP what was discussed about all this earlier in their relationship?

As others have said, he is ensuring that the investment asset goes where it was intended to go. I don't see a problem. Also, as to the OP continuing to live in the marital home, that isn't the one being discussed in the thread, it's an investment property that the OP's husband wants to leave to his child.

I think the issue here is it means the OP will struggle if left nothing but the house. It would be different if OP would be comfortable without inheritance.

That is off. The child is getting the house AND the savings. Not just the house.

Still interesting to hear what was discussed on the subject when the OP moved in. Surely this would all have been ironed out at that stage?

Sorry I’m with him too. You’ll have a home.

A modification that might help address the issues the OP has - the investment property could be in trust for her son until her son is say 21 or 25 with the OP as one of the trustees. Then the rental income could be used to help support the son - e.g. to pay childcare costs or activities or university - but the asset itself goes to the son eventually

Once the son is grown up, the OP has more options - e.g to downsize or maximise earnings and hours

He's leaving it to your child. You're sounding quite competitive to your own child. I have left my rental to my children.

We have taken advice on this and in fact this protects us from the possibility that absolutely everything gets taken to pay for care home fees. All things being equal there will still be a large sum to go on this if needed, and in all honesty there really isnt much difference in care provided across the sector (eg private or state funded placement).

I think your husband is actually doing the right thing for your child here with the rental property. Maybe there could be a way to keep the rental income coming to you until your DS turns 21/moves out. You are still going to inherit a house so both of you will have a home. Reading threads on here it’s depressingly common for parents to use inheritance as a way of controlling their children, it’s actually quite refreshing to see that your DH has thought of your sons future security. However I think the savings should go to you or be split between the two of you.

This is the sort of solution I’m thinking of.
i wouldn’t want our child to have the flat but be struggling financially for potentially needing support when pre 18. We’d be fine but it’s those little extra things in life isn’t it.

as someone said it’s hard thing to think about getting everything in order for the worst case scenario.

I do appreciate the second marriage thing I’m sure many people have sworn they’ll never do something and then we’ve seen so many situations on here when it has happened.

I can't agree with your last sentence, there's some fantastic later life care out there if you look hard enough.

There are some good facilities yes but in my experience unless you are thinking the top of the market, the differences in my experience are largely in the presentation.
Personally having worked in an allied industry for 25 years, I would much rather sign our with dignity and pass any wealth onto my kids who can make good use of the cash. I think that should be my choice and many many other people who I lnow share similar views.

I’ve just chosen to leave a partner keeps delaying marriage and would be enough for he to live 100’s of miles away. I think it’s better to trust your partner to do the right thing or at least let you live there till you die. I personally think it shows you are not family to him, and he’s always struggled to put me first or have my back so it was the final straw. I do see you have a child together, tough one maybe you can convince him to understand you need to stay in the area? Or you can hope to meet someone who gets all this upfront. Good luck and let us know how you get on x

You are in your 30s.

You have life insurance.

If something happened to him tomorrow, you could marry someone new in 5 years and end up leaving his little flat, his family’s inheritance, to a new man. Or losing half of it in a subsequent divorce. Which would be out of your control.

I have seen several of my friends lose inheritance this way.

It sounds as if you would be secure if he died, I would be pleased that my Dc had some security to look forward to.

A Will is for the forseeable future. It can be revisited as you grow older and needs and risks change.

Wills are about hard facts and common sense: I think he has made a sensible decision, and it doesn’t have to reflect on his love for you.

Would you like your share of assets to go to another woman in the event of your death and your children have nothing? Men move on very quickly, before you know it, SM gets the lot.

i speak from experience.

It being married is the main issue - you can‘t inherit each other‘s inheritance tax reliefs. Leaving a property to a trust will also exclude you from the additional nil rate band as the property does not directly go to a descendant.

If 50% of the joint property, his flat, his savings and shortly also his pension funds total more than £325k, there will be 40% inheritance tax to pay. OP may need to sell her home to pay it.