Leaving everything to the child not partner in a will

[Orangeoranges42]

Been with partner 10 years
lived together 7
We have one child aged 3
Both mid 30’s
no other children or previous marriages etc
We’re 50/50 on our house and DP recently brought a little flat, mainly from family inheritance.

In our will DP wants to leave this property and savings etc to our child, not me.

Should anything happen to either of us the house insurance pays our house off pretty much and it transfers to the other person.

Is it a bit strange he wants to leave the second property to our child not me? Although our mortgage would be paid off with the general cost of life I’d still probably struggle. Our house is only a 2 bed, perfectly nice but nothing extraordinary so I couldn’t really downsize etc nor could I imagine wanting to.

I’m loyal always paid my half etc. just not sure if this sits right. I was brought up in a house where everything goes in one pot, where we pay everything % of salary into one pot.

I don't see a problem with this tbh. It was inherited family money and his child should inherited it. An unmarried partner is not part of equation. You need to ensure your own financial stability not hope his family money will support you.

It doesn’t minimise inheritance tax at all, simply skips a generation and potentially leaves OP in a difficult position in her old age ie without a house!! You would need to be given a lifetime right of abode in the house for this to work

inheritance tax is 0 between married couples.
if the house is modest it’ll be under the inheritance tax band anyway.

But they aren’t married, and the main house where they live is going to the OP anyway. She won’t be homeless

Don’t tell me, he says marriage is “just a piece of paper”

Do you work FT OP or are you reliant on his earnings?

I think it's sensible. What if he dies next month and you got his property and then went on to marry someone else. You may think definitely not but people do. Then your new partner would be entitled to half of that property. He is ensuring it goes to his child. You have a property so you don't need his.

Have you read the OP's posts?

I cannot see the problem with this at all.
Me and my DH have wills leaving 50% of everything to our two kids, even our house! With a trust to be set up meaning we get to continue living in it until the remaining spouse dies. We have done this specifically to protect our chikdren against issues that can arise in the case of remarriages etc.

I'd give the house to my DC too.

It would be a long time until your son would be able to live in it. So if it's rented out the money would be handy to improve your lifestyles. Question is, would your partner put the rent minus fees/tax etc into a joint pot/joint savings?

We’ve done this, everything goes to the kids, but we each have a lifetime interest in the family home so we can continue living in it until the death.

I’m sorry but this structure is what I would recommend to him. It’s also how my DH and my wills are set up and how my own father’s will is set up - inherited assets (or assets bought with inherited money) pass to children, not spouses. This is to prevent those inherited assets from leaving his family if you remarry and/or have additional children after he passes. As far as I’m concerned, I have a responsibility to steward the assets I have & will inherit for future generations.

If you’re concerned about how you’ll make ends meet if something happened to your husband, discuss other changes the two of you can make. Some of these are death-specific like taking a larger life insurance policy, but most are things you should consider to protect yourself in the event of a divorce - working part time to keep some level of employment experience, setting aside retirement funds in your own name, creating educational funds for your DC, etc.

For me, i am a mother first, partner second. My dp and I have 2 kids. 'Our' home is owned by me. He has life interest and we have life insurance policies to protect each other but the house goes to our kids. Your other half sounds very sensible

I'm sure this has some advantages, but I'd find it hurtful too OP. Especially if you'd like to get married and he's the one saying no.

Thanks for so many replies.
some really valid points and I appreciate the general consensus that it is a fair thing to do.

Just to answer, I work 30 hours a week and have an okay job it’s just mine is the more flexi job to fit around child care so it does slightly limit my potential earnings but that’s my choice too so I take that.

I was thinking along the lines of if anything happened I’d probably have to work full time which is fine, it’s just those hours as a single mum I worry it’s a lot to be able to support our child emotional. I quite like work tbh so I’m not worried on that side of things.

i have a small pot of savings that does get dipped into for my car etc and doesn’t tend to get to more than £5k.

I do absolutely agree the house would be our child’s only it’s perhaps just a shame DP doesn't trust me to do that but I know you hear of many people where it hasn’t happened as promised and it does go to a second marriage.

I’d like for it to officially go to our child when they’re 21 or something

The expense of marriage excuse is bollox. It costs £215 mid week at the registry office !

Offer to pay for this. It will tell you all you need to know.

I think he’s very sensible, it’s what I’d do.

No stop going without to out savings in your child’s name …

put all savings in your own name. Then you can choose what to do with that money.

This is not a good idea. I have a friend who can't afford decent care because her dc own half her home.

I have a rental and have done the same. DH would have the mortgage more than paid. My rental is split between my sons.

I'm not taking any chance that a future partner, children, stepchildren could get what I want my sons to have.

We've seen enough on here where the intent of the person who died isn't honoured with the passage of time.

@Orangeoranges42 I understand it feels strange. Estate planning is often already uncomfortable since we’re having to think about what it would be like if our spouse passed.

Try this thought experiment on and see if it helps:
The rental property is left to you along with everything else when DP passes, and after a few years you remarry and have a baby with your new partner. Now you have two children you’re equally responsible for, but only one of them is your current DP’s family. You and your new husband sit down to make wills and he expects you to leave everything to him just as you’re currently asking for from your DP. How will you feel saying no? Do you prioritize the wishes of your deceased partner or the feelings of your current one? What if you stand up for DP’s wishes and leave the rental to your older child only, then down the road your younger child is angry & hurt with you that you’ve chosen to treat them unequally?

It's exactly this.

Get a civil partnership then. No hassle or attention, you just need to sign papers. Costs less than £150. Marriage/CP is just a legal document at the end of the day so treat it as such - no need for a party.

If he won't do that then it's probably because he doesn't want to commit to you (sorry) as hassle and cost really don't come into it (in fact it's much less hassle and cost than buying property, making a will etc, so no excuse).

Well you absolutely don’t need to go without anymore, seeing as your child will inherit a property. Start saving for yourself.
But yes, it’s odd, seeing as your child would inherit both properties anyway, when you die.

Mine was even less than that and it was quite recent. Apologies if I was wrong though - it must vary by area but I totally agree it doesn't have to be expensive or a hassle.

Not if the OP marries soneone else and not if she needs long-term care home fees.

OP what happens if you have further children? Will your partner leave them a share of the property? That is something else to consider.