Universal Credit, scared of working 30 hours

[helpmethankyou]

Please don't flame me for this post because i'm scared enough anyway.

My child will be 3 in January and i have been on universal credit in the Lcwra group. I was homeless and in an abusive relationship which led to the baby's Father being removed from the home. It also lead to me losing two jobs due to having memory blackouts at work (which itself is distressing)

Subsequently i suffered PTSD and OCD which was diagnosed and i had some help for. I also have quite a severe ED. with my sky high rent and no help from the baby's Father believe me i am not taking money in.

I am now finding myself at a terrifying cross roads and tormenting myself about being a failure. I have a degree, I had a good job but my life fell apart after a complete nervous breakdown.

I'm in my 40s. I have adult children. I used to have a good job. My young child is my work. I will never have a relationship again after having my bones and heart broken

Every day i look at my journal. Because of my mental health issues my default thought when i think of being made to work 30 hours and cope with that is simply to kill myself. Which is ridiculous. I loved working, i loved people.

I'm so embarrassed that i don't work. I'm embarrassed to speak to people in case they ask what i do for work

I am having night terrors and not eating at all and i have another 6 months of this terror. I don't have family other than my children who have their own lives and homes and i'm embarrassed for them too.

Can i add too that i just want to be normal again with stability and routine and the ability to be a functioning member of society but I CANT.

Have you seen a GP recently? Honestly, it sounds like you need support right now. I wouldn't even think about working right now but see your GP and what therapy/medication may help stabilise yourself.

I thought LCWRA meant you didn't have any work commitments? The 30 hours when your child turns 3 is standard UC working commitments as I understand it.

Yes I have seen a GP and obvious ton medication for the anxiety and depression. The problem is though being a single parent, i can't be entirely honest because SS were involved after her birth and she was on a child protection plan because of her Fathers violence and the fact I Initially didn't want him to leave.

Thank you. The LCWRA doesn't mean you have commitments but in my head i'm assuming that once my child turns 3 it will trigger a review. I am probably in a worse place than when I qualified for it.

Another HUGE anxiety is when she gets 30 hours funded childcare i will be expected to take that up and I think that would take a lot from me. She does go to playgroup now which is amazing and necessary for her and for me as i would struggle to fulfil all her needs alone

I also have severe mental health issues similar to what you describe. Start small little habits like journaling, mediation and Pilates. If you have a garden, make it a nice place to be in full of plants

thank you for that good advice

for me i'm just so embarrassed and ashamed and want to put this front on that i'm not who i really am and because it's so invisible that makes it worse

The narrative from the previous government hasn't helped at all

Your child turning 3 isn't a change that would trigger a reassessment. If you report a change in health conditions, you might be reassessed.

Your only job at the moment is to focus on getting well. That’s why you’re in the lcwra group - so that you can focus on yourself and your child.

Work can be a huge help in getting better because it creates routine, improves self esteem, builds resilience so one day you might feel like you’re ready to do that. Initially it might also look very different from how you’ve worked before- 5 hours a week in a library is totally different from 80 hours a week as a ceo.

But for now try and put it to the back of your mind and do a good job of raising your child and looking after yourself. If you haven’t yet, take a look at edmr therapy which had huge success with ptsd.

Good luck!

Working might help Try not to dwell on the past jobs and choose one that is less demanding, at least initially.

I get you. I also live on UC with the extra element because I've got a disability and I can't work. I've also got the message from the Tories that I'm scum.

If it helps reassure you, no one has asked me about going back to work in several years.

Fingers crossed this government will be a lot kinder to those in our situation 🌺

Thank you so much for understanding this! i don't feel like i will ever be better and catastrophise which then brings on physical symptoms and sleepwalking/night terrors

i've thought about volunteering for a few hours at a charity shop and a library would be a dream and i guess that will show im wanting to move forward!

There's no trigger when your child turns three for LCWRA. You can ring up the DWP and ask when you're due a review. It will be listed on your LCWRA assessment, which they can view on their end.

Just to add: there are backlogs in most of the country so even if it says you're due in the next 6 months, it's very unlikely it will happen then.

I also have PTSD. Night terrors are a classic symptom, so I completely sympathise. Do you claim PIP? If not, I would urge you to look at it for additional support/continuity of income.

This. DC turning 3 isn’t related to your LCWRA.

Don't even think about work when you're so unwell. Only focus on getting better. I'm sorry for the trauma you've been through.

Have you had any counselling for the trauma that you've been through? Is this something you could look into?

As PP say, LCfWRA means you've no requirement whatever to seek work.

I've had CBT - i was priority as u had an intact but i'm still on the waiting list for talking therapy. Secondary care offered groups which haven't been helpful as i'm introverted. and also my brain wants to bury the memories. I do realise most of the problems are coming for the subconscious and things i've had to push away because i was left alone and unwell with a brand new preemie, always alert for when police or the social worker would turn up

MattDamon, the night terrors are scary. I wake up and i'm running around the house and the baby is not in bed. Really NOT there. Then i come round and the baby is there 🤷‍♀️

I tried to get some help for housing and the lovely lady on the phone recommended PIP because of the anorexia and bulimia. I called the line twice and hung up as i was scared of talking to them. How stupid!

No, it's not stupid. I managed to get as far as getting the forms posted to me once but then I was too scared to even open the envelope.

It's not your fault that PIP has been made as difficult to get as it is. The horror stories put me right off. I don't think I could cope with someone telling me I'm fine when I'm not.

Cross not just your fingers but your toes & eyes as we…look at Yvette cooper’s past record on treatment of those with illnesses!

I agree it is really hard to even get through and anyone with anxiety and depression is going to struggle to pick up the phone and doubt themselves, if the person on the phone was rude i would literally obsess for days and cry and want to hurt myself.

I'm not sure what you are worrying about. LCWRA means you have no work commitments anyway. LCWRA means that an assessor has decided you are too ill to do nay kind of work or work related activities at the moment. Your child's age has noting to do with it.

In terms of work and in your own time. You don’t have to dive in and do 30hrs straight away. You could also try just a little volunteering, a morning a week or something. Just dip your toe, don’t overwhelm yourself. You’ll find once you get going you’ll flow with confidence and have the desire to keep going. Best of luck.

Thank you so much for the compassion you've all showed. My hope is that in time i'll get stronger and able to deal with things, especially as my child gets older. My fear is as she gets older and more independent, i'll get worse.

My hope is i'll be a contributing member of society. My fear is i'll act inappropriately with an outburst (which happens even when i'm not working)

I want to be a good example to my children. But i suppose by keeping relatively stable and trying to get help and advice i'm doing this.

We don't ask for our brains to be poorly.

Last night, in my sleep, i must have gone downstairs and filled my backpack full of tinned and dried food. not a single memory. Once i opened all my child's present during the night with no memory. It's very very scary.

And i look fine and can act fine in minor interactions.