So to start the past year has been stressful
my dog died - he was everything to me and we watched him die over a a week in the most horrible way.
on the day he died the first vet I took him to - who misdiagnosed him, called me about the insurance claim. They put it through and I consented to this. I ended up writing a complaint about their treatment it was horrid. I have a letter where they say they will reduce the treatment to £313 - I had confirmation from my insurance this was already claimed and so I never thought any more of it. I was wrapped up in grief. A month later mum was taken to hospital and she nearly died. She had a life changing injury and whilst she was in hospital I was dealing with some matters whucg turned out she had very bad mental health. She then suffered delirium for 4 weeks and as her only child and with family it did fall on me to visit each day on my own. I have a dd who also has her own struggles. She has severe asthma and we are both on pathway for adhd.
my mum was not in the best place when she came round and sadly I bore the brunt of it if there were days she struggled. There were days I wanted to just off myself. But I never would cos of my daughter.
in November I was out on a 2 week pathway for cancer whucg we still haven’t got to the bottom Of but a barium swallow was clear.
in March I sought treatment for my mental health as I have been really struggling I’m on medication now which has been hard.
I do struggle daily and have been to the doctors with 4th bout of bronchitis and still really suffering with a anxiwty and depression.
in March I started breathing space and working wit step change as my finances have got completely out of hand. Largely cos I forget and every day I’m fighting to just keep afloat I feel all alone in this world.
I had a letter from a solicitor about this debt, I was going to call the insurers and ask why not paid when I did they said I didn’t confirm it to be paid at the time. I didn’t have the energy to fight this because to be honest I just don’t know what’s happened. So I added it to my debts to be included in the debt management plan thinking I’ll just pay it because I don’t have the energy to fight it. It sounds stupid. It even speaking to people at the minute is a big hurdle. - oh in between all of this iv had to move my DD’s school because of how much she was struggling. She also is having difficulties in seeing her dad. -
so today a bailiff comes and says he’s collecting my items in 5 days - he says I’m to email breathing space and wouldn’t talk anymore - the letter says he’s coming in 5 days and will take my stuff and if that doesn’t cover the hill, which is now £2200 they will apply to make my bankrupt. Part of me doesn’t even care what they take now but I am scared of a man coming in and my daughter seeing that. I have previously experienced dv and I’m scared. Since he came in been crying and I can’t stop crying.
step change say to apply for a stay of execution but every where is shut. I can’t focus to add more inowed my mum some money from when my dog died and having to seek another vet opinion and from him being out to sleep and so she is taking a sleeve chunk of my wages each month I can’t even get through the melnth
I feel so tired and I don’t even know where to start
I want to seek support for my mental health but I’m scared as I work in a helping profession and if they think my mental health is bad they may tell my employer? I’m not sure I do feel at crisis though but I just don’t know what to di about any of it. Sorry for long post