Do you feel bad for receiving a ‘high amount’ of UC?

[AnotherNameChange1233]

Last week I went to my local Children’s Centre and attended a Citizen’s Advice group that runs once a week.

As long as you’re registered to the Children Centre, you can turn up for any advice needed. Some people want privacy so they go into a side room with the advisor and some parents may help other parents if they’ve been in a similar situation/can offer the correct advice. It’s also like a social group for parents, hopefully you get the jist of it.

On the table I was sitting on, one parent was trying to get her head around UC as she didn’t quite understand LHA rates, how DLA impacts UC and what elements she would be entitled too. Anyway, I started speaking about my experience with DLA, UC and offered to log into my UC account if it was easier for her to look at the breakdown visually (instead of me talking and complicating things). I also got her postcode to explain how the LHA rates work and etc.

Another parent suddenly spoke up and said, ‘don’t you feel bad for claiming that much money?’ She wasn’t argumentative or anything and we had an interesting conversation but it made me think, are people like me supposed to feel bad when receiving a certain amount?

She also said something like (I’m paraphrasing here as I can’t remember it exactly word for word) if people can’t afford their rent then they should move to a more affordable area. I raised the point of Landlords purchasing properties as part of the Right to Buy scheme, charging extortionate rent which taxpayers then pay through UC. Surely, it’s more a problem that there isn’t affordable rental properties in many areas.

For full transparency, I’m going to mention all of my UC amounts and wonder if people that claim similar, feel bad?

• 292 single person allowance
• 1450 private rent
• 539 for 2 children
• 293 for 2 disabled children
• 589 childcare costs
• 189 carer

£216 is deducted from my entitlement due to my wages. That means my UC amount is £3133. My wages is £771. I receive two amounts of MRC through DLA which is £580 all together.

Now that I’ve written it down, it seems like a whole lot of money but the costs that come with raising one of my disabled children (the other still costs a lot, but not as much as the other) is through the roof due to their issues

I don't feel bad getting it, if I didn't have a disabled DC like OP then I could work full time and earn more than I receive on benefits plus not have to worry about my DC all the time, life would be great.

Thank you for your view, I think you’re totally right in this regard. When I was asked whether I felt bad, the first thing I thought was, ‘I don’t feel bad but maybe I should.’ The reason why I didn’t feel bad is because this lifestyle isn’t a choice. I would have never stopped working full time if I didn’t have too. As parents, we all worry about our children. Imagine worrying about your disabled children. My mental health is through the roof at times

There are still plenty of surestarts in my city...

You misunderstood my post. Massively

She gets that because her employer pays her a shit wage. OP works hard too.

LL's are disliked so much now, by renters, There is so much red tape on renting now and LL's are getting out of the rental market. Unfortunately that means there are fewer rentals available. Whats now going to happen is renters and the government will change there view regarding LL's and the rental market.

Rents are dictated by the market. if they are to high move to a cheaper area.

i would love to live by the beach , i cant afford that. No different to someone wanting to rent in a certain place.

But that's hardly relevant to what their needs are now. They are not only disabled, they are currently still children. She can't just leave them to support themselves, disabled or not, in order to go work full time to please the mumsnet bullies.

Not aimed as a dig at OP because I do not know their situation.

However generally I think there is a widespread problem with people having lots of children but no real plan of how to financially support them. Another problem being people having children outside of a stable relationship and when the relationship invariably breaks down the parent with childcare responsibility is unable to work.

Shoot me down

This thread is mad, one poster actually saying they’d have the epilepsy if it meant extra £££

WTF

OP has two disabled children, but people are only looking at the money.

save your outrage for people who deserve it.

Do you really want to have a disabled child to get money ? Are you that sad ?

This is honestly a great question. Days off, days out, holidays and things like that are a tale of the past. That’s practically impossible in my situation. Money to support the children is exactly that, money to support my disabled children

Aye, and what if he's dead. Did that ever cross your triggered mind before you went on your attack of OP?

Ridiculous.

I work 50+ hours a week as a marketing manager and dont get paid this much a month.

So sorry you had to read that comment, it was awful

I don't think you should feel bad OP.

Fortunately I have never been in the position where I've had to claim, but I know I'd be claiming the same amount if I were in your shoes.

I can't imagine it's cheap raising two disabled kids in London.

Whilst I don’t think you are out of order for claiming what you’re entitled to, I do wonder dependent on your child’s age what extra support financially you need for a downs child. I completely understand under 6 is especially challenging, also you do not clarify you second child disability.
Whilst I applaud you & all you do I cannot understand why you constantly refuse to mention the sperm donor on the financials or any support.
Op I do wish you well & send lots of love. Love 🥰

No I agree. Not OP and no not any of the dozens of 'gotcha' scenarios that people will pile on with about partners who died or were abusive or people who accidentally had octuplets BUT - some people treat having kids like it's an entitlement rather than a financial decision that you have to make really, really carefully and responsibly.

mmmm Depends if the op is using AVC and how much is put in. You still get 20% tax top-up on whatever you put in even though you don't pay tax in the first place.

MRC has just gone up this April to £290. £290 x 2 = £580 total. I don’t get carers allowance because I earn over the threshold

I feel bad receiving my low beneifit, as a adult and parent I wish I could support my family independently but unfortunately theres not enough hours in the day. I do work and have always been hard working but in a position right now where i need support as i have a parent that's ill and i care for them and stops me being able to work as much as I did so I receive carers allowence. Its a struggle and i also hate receiving money for caring for my parent as its my parent i dont want money for caring for them but i need it to keep us afloat.
Your income just look so high as an outsider looking in i can see why people working all the hours god's sends and are still struggling find benefits entitlement so frustrating.
You have a high income and are entitled to alot of different benefits then work and cost taxpayers a further £589 for childcare for you too get £500 a month ontop of them benifits definitely not saying you shouldn't work but then take the high rent costs on top its all the different elements your entitled to that I think causes the frustration then they also know about other entitlements you may be receiving such as maintenance and free school grants, free entry into parks, discounts as a carer and they get no support and so many working class people are now living hand to mouth I can't blame them for being upset with our system or your post.

Thank you for being kind. I have other carer friends and it’s only when I look at them, do I realise how much it is that we actually do. When you’re a parent carer, it’s all automatic and sometimes you don’t really realise just how much you do in a day/week/month

You should think about changing careers and getting into something more lucrative then!

How does having 2 disabled kids whilst still working part time to meet their needs as full-time carer and keeping an extortionately expensive roof over your head sound?

Get your application in quick though because it seems like A LOT of mumsnet commentators here are also interested in putting their hat in the ring!

Good luck!!

I’ve included the total amount of DLA thaf I receive, aside from UC, in my original post. I receive £580 DLA total

I'm sure I'll get shot down for this but I'd support people having to move to cheaper areas to be allowed housing benefit. Nobody should be paying 1.5 grand a month for rent at the taxpayers expense when there are plenty of places further north where rents are about a third of that. And yes I know we all want to live where we grew up, or where our families are, or whatever, but that's called luxury. I can't live where I want or where I grew up because I have to live where the work is and where I can afford on my hard-earned salary. And yes that does mean I don't have any family support for my disabled child - them's the breaks.

Rents are dictated by the market. if they are to high move to a cheaper area.

How easy do you think moving is for people on benefits? Especially disabled people. It's difficult, distressing, and expensive.

It also causes resentment in the areas people move to. Where I live we've had some homeless families placed here by London councils. This has had a knock on effect on local housing pressure. I feel sorry for these London families but I also understand the local resentment (although I think it should be directed towards the London councils and the government, instead of these unfortunate displaced families).

So when a woman comes on here, disclosing abuse or infidelity or being AGP or whatever, and she says she doesn't know what to do because she has 2 disabled kids and only works part time...

EVERYONE on here says to get her ducks in a row, call women's aid, be brave, LTB.

OP is now a single mum, she got her ducks in a row, she LTB and got was she was entitled to.

And you're all here with your pitch forks, saying she shouldn't be "allowed" to claim all that and that she chose a "loser man to father 2 kids" and that "women like her" should be held accountable for popping out disabled sprogs.

HAVE YOU HEARD YOURSELVES

Op has 2 disabled children, is a carer and is also managing to work part time as well. She's perfectly entitled to what she receives in UC and I for one am glad that at least some support is their for her and her family and she should not be made to feel bad for claiming it.

I swear some people on here just see the amount and lose their tiny minds, never once stopping to think just how far that money will realistically go once her rents been paid and with the cost of things these days. She's hardly living the high life! I'm pretty sure she'd swap her benefits for knowing her kids were going to be ok in a heartbeat. The level of vitriol aimed at a single mother of 2 disabled kids is disgusting.