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Original poster

Follow head or heart?

40 replies

Sammyjane13 · 10/04/2024 08:54

Hello. We are a couple in our early 50’s and are about to be grandparents and want to move closer to our daughter(4hrs drive away)to be able to have a part in our grandchild’s life. We love our home but really do not like the area we live in. We should have moved 5yrs ago really. We have £80000 left on our mortgage and if we moved to a closer and nicer area to our daughter we would be increasing our mortgage to about £160,000 and increase the term to 19years. My heart says yes do it , life’s to short not to take risks and move to a better area and lifestyle outcomes but my head says no we are taking on a higher mortgage & to stay where we are and be mortgage free in 10 years but still be in an area we are not happy with.
would you follow your heart or head?
Grateful for anyones input or similar experiences. Thank you

OP posts:
DaisyChain505 · 10/04/2024 08:56

Are you planning on moving to a similar sized house? Could you possibly down size or re think the type of property to lower the price. (A flat rather than a house)

FusionChefGeoff · 10/04/2024 08:57

Be happy.

It's only money Smile

NoSquirrels · 10/04/2024 08:57

DaisyChain505 · 10/04/2024 08:56

Are you planning on moving to a similar sized house? Could you possibly down size or re think the type of property to lower the price. (A flat rather than a house)

I was about to type just this. Downsizing would be the best option. If you’re living closer to family you probably don’t need as many bedrooms for people to stay overnight as guests?

Original poster
Sammyjane13 · 10/04/2024 09:00

Thank you , Because we live in a less affluent area at present we would be downsizing and that’s the mortgage figures we are look at if we move to a better area

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 10/04/2024 09:01

Is there a third option? Move because you're unhappy but move a middle distance or closer but further out the other way?

What areas are within equal current travel times?

Original poster
Sammyjane13 · 10/04/2024 09:01

we live in a less affluent area at present we would be downsizing and that’s the mortgage figures we are look at if we move to a better area. thank you for your reply

OP posts:
titchy · 10/04/2024 09:04

If you're both early 50s it's highly unlikely you'd get a 19 year mortgage - lender won't lend beyond retirement age usually, so 67.

If you want my vote though - heart!

determinedtomakethiswork · 10/04/2024 09:05

FusionChefGeoff · 10/04/2024 08:57

Be happy.

It's only money Smile

That's a completely ridiculous response. How is she going to pay her mortgage when she's in her late 60s?

Yocal · 10/04/2024 09:05

In your situation I'd do it. There is more value to be gained by being a part of your grandchilds life. Also, if you move now, you might be able to negotiate on house price - then be able to refinance when rates go down and hopefully gain some equity when house prices go up, because rates have come down. I think now is a good time to buy if you can manage it.

Original poster
Sammyjane13 · 10/04/2024 09:06

Yes this is our middle way area that we have chosen it has good train / transport links as well which will help and is 1h30 drive from our daughter . Thank you

OP posts:
determinedtomakethiswork · 10/04/2024 09:06

What would you get for the same price in your daughter's area?

Yocal · 10/04/2024 09:08

1.5 hours away seems like a long way to me. Why not closer?

NoSquirrels · 10/04/2024 09:10

Being closer but still an hour and a half drive away, and doubling your mortgage, I wouldn’t do it. I’d look into how I could be much closer, or stay put, or move to somewhere else cheaper.

Kitkat1523 · 10/04/2024 09:17

I can seen no benefit to moving 1.5hrs away….you will have all the costs of moving…..you will still be too far away to have any day to day involvement with your GC and you will be starting over in a new community with jobs/friends etc

Original poster
Sammyjane13 · 10/04/2024 09:23

We couldn’t afford to live in the area my daughter now lives in unfortunately

OP posts:
Axx · 10/04/2024 09:27

Kitkat1523 · 10/04/2024 09:17

I can seen no benefit to moving 1.5hrs away….you will have all the costs of moving…..you will still be too far away to have any day to day involvement with your GC and you will be starting over in a new community with jobs/friends etc

This, it's still too far. No point moving for that. If you were local to her I'd say go for it.

Original poster
Sammyjane13 · 10/04/2024 09:27

There isn’t really any where else cheaper than the area we live in now ,we are in one of the lowest counties for house prices in the UK

OP posts:
KeepingItUnderTheRadar · 10/04/2024 09:29

If you want to move to a nicer area, an area you love, to spend your later years in, do it.

However, you're not moving round the corner. 1.5 hours away is too far to expect a particularly close relationship with dd/dgc...you're not going to be popping in for a cuppa regularly are you?

And expecting your dd to travel to you (if that's possibly a thought as you'll be 'only' 1.5 hours away) - that expectation or suggestion is likely to p off your dd massively.

Original poster
Sammyjane13 · 10/04/2024 09:29

1hr30 mins drive seems a dream to us after the 4hrs we normally do. We both work in healthcare so finding jobs doesn’t feel like to much of a worry for us

OP posts:
kelsaycobbles · 10/04/2024 09:32

If you have 80k left on a mortgage and you are in a really cheap area of the country in a poor location within That cheap area it makes me wonder how well you have been paying off the mortgage and how much you might struggle with a higher mortgage

How small is the new place you will be looking for ?

Original poster
Sammyjane13 · 10/04/2024 09:34

Thank you for your reply, the mortgage broker offered us 19years unless I’m mistaken?? He did encourage us to overpay each month if the rates start to go down over the coming years to get the term down

OP posts:
Yocal · 10/04/2024 09:36

If it's not too outing, where does your daughter live? Is she on board with you moving nearer? Just thinking does she have any plans to move?

70sdisco · 10/04/2024 09:37

I wouldn’t commit to a mortgage of that length at your age.

Is your job physical? Many of us like to think we can keep going in our jobs until our late 60s but it’s very hard. I was made redundant then had health issues. I could never have predicted either.

Can you move to a flat nearer your daughter?

Are you expecting to help with childcare? If you are 1 1/2 hours away I wouldn’t have thought that was practical. My mother helped out when my dc were young and travelling both ways just for half a hour with my dc was hard work for me and her.

Creamcoconut · 10/04/2024 09:39

What about downsizing even more to a garden flat?

Original poster
Sammyjane13 · 10/04/2024 09:43

These are some of my worries.
Yes we both have physical jobs but no we are not helping with childcare . Our daughter is keen for us to be nearer , we should have moved a few years ago but I guess that’s life

OP posts: